suddenly, a pirate came out drinking coffee to laugh at the ninjas

That was when the Minja's minjutsu kicked in and killed the pirate.

"Usually this sort of stuff happens in the movies" stated Calvin.

"Verily, lad, but 'tisn't a movie," stated the minja.

While the ninja was replying to Calvin, a pirate snuck up from behind and plundered his... pockets.

"X marks the spot my lad" shouted the pirate as he and the ninjas, minjas, and ninja/pirate variants ran away never to be seen in this story again!

"You have to wonder what that all was about" remarked Calvin to his sidekicks.

"Zhut yer filshy mouth, Chalshin!" Peter shouted at their leader after taking a long draught of whiskey since he learned the new legal drinking age was 8 and 1/2.

(WOO I'm back! With a new avatar!)

"Aha!" exclaimed Calvin, "I finally understand what this is all about" as he flipped the plot switch from bat-shit crazy to moderately ridiculous.

"But, flipping a switch really shouldn't affect the plot..." protested a cute one-eyed squirrel-cyborg.