Suddenly, Susy Simian, Calvin & Co.'s talking monkey from so way back, stood on the "Podium of Truth", which everyone on Earth could see from anywhere, and shouted in the "Microphone of Loudness,

"WTF is going on here?"

"These are good cheetos!" stated everyone on Earth while completely ignoring Susy.

UNdeniably, things were getting wierder.

Vampires were the only who knew how to change things back to the regular wierdness.

Wierdness was unmistakable, and is the true villain in this story.

X-rated movies are the true villains, as they have poisoned the minds of those who write the stories.

Yes, but it's high time someone went on a quest to save the world from wierdness.

Zing! A bullet riccoced off of the wall next to calvin, Snapping him out of his chetos, and talking gorrilla daydream.

An anime cliche woman stood before him, her standard 9mm handgun pointed somewhere in his general direction.

Beautiful though she was, the anime woman hissed, "Calvin, I have been sent to kill you, for you are a danger to my master's plans!"