"By jove," the group exclaimed in a somewhat creepy simultaneous manner, "I think we've found our monkey!"

"Call me a monkey again, and see what Happens, I AM APEEEEEE!!"

"Don't be so hostile Mr. Ape!" scolded Calvin.

Even as they sat there, our heroes had no idea of the unknown horrors that lay in wait for them outside the diner.

Namely the Mystical Magic Butt Sex Faries.

Mystical Magic Butt Sex Faries are commonly refered to as "joe" but in the interests of science...

Overly confused Calvin wondered what happened to f, g, h, i, j, k, and l and when n and m switched positions in the alphabet

(OOC) Holy shit, that sucks.

People all over the earch revolted against this change, and it was reverted.

Quietly, ninjas swept in and retconned the whole thing while Calvin moved on to wherever he was going.

Reverently, the ninja committed seppuku when they realized that they really had no effect on the alphabetical disaster.

suddenly, a pirate came out drinking coffee to laugh at the ninjas

That was when the Minja's minjutsu kicked in and killed the pirate.

"Usually this sort of stuff happens in the movies" stated Calvin.

"Verily, lad, but 'tisn't a movie," stated the minja.

While the ninja was replying to Calvin, a pirate snuck up from behind and plundered his... pockets.

"X marks the spot my lad" shouted the pirate as he and the ninjas, minjas, and ninja/pirate variants ran away never to be seen in this story again!

"You have to wonder what that all was about" remarked Calvin to his sidekicks.

"Zhut yer filshy mouth, Chalshin!" Peter shouted at their leader after taking a long draught of whiskey since he learned the new legal drinking age was 8 and 1/2.

(WOO I'm back! With a new avatar!)

"Aha!" exclaimed Calvin, "I finally understand what this is all about" as he flipped the plot switch from bat-shit crazy to moderately ridiculous.

"But, flipping a switch really shouldn't affect the plot..." protested a cute one-eyed squirrel-cyborg.

Calvin replied, "Ah, but it does, lad/squirrel/cyborg thing."

"Dammit, if we keep making sentences like these, we'll never get the story going!" the squirrel-cyborg said with concern in its voice.

"Exactly why I flipped the switch!" retorted Calvin.

"For fuck's sake, let's get back to my grand introduction already," growled Mr. Ape.

Granted, by this time no one knew that the aliens had already landed and begun thier hostile corporate takeover.

However, nobody cared that the webcomic 8-bit theater was now run by aliens; in fact it caused quite a few new members to join the forums.

In fact, 8-bit theater will now be read by scientologists, as Xenu has taken over.

Jesus Christ decided he needed a webcomic of his own so he set out to conquer VGCats; but we won't get too much into that.

Konsequently, Jesus Khrist's aktions kaused all the c's in the world, save for one, to dissappear.

Meanwhile, the Magical Mystic Buttsex Pixies vowed their anal related revenge, for reasons only know to the Fellowship of the Lub.

Not that anyone cared about that, Calvin and co. just went to ask the previously ignored ape what happened to the letter "L".

"Oh, it got lost in the shuffle, I suppose," sighed the ape, "much like myself and half of the rest of the alphabet just a couple pages ago...."

"Pardon me," interrupted Calvin, "But did you just say you were lost?"

"Quite," replied the ape, "and I don't think I'll become found anytime soon."

Repeated the ape, who was clearly waiting for something to happen, but with more emphasis this time, "I don't think we'll become found anytime soon!"

"Shit, these cheetos are good!", Calvin exclaimed ignoring the ape some more.

"That's it," the ape exclaimed as he stormed out, "You suck and I'm leaving!"

Then the ape left, grabbing the cheetos on his way out.

"Uh-oh!" Calvin said, "My cheetos are mysteriously gone!"

Vexed by the disturbing absence of his snack, Calvin Montoya's muscles bulged and his skin changed color becoming the Incredibly Unoriginal Bulk!

"Where the devil are my Cheetos, old chap?" remarked the Bulk as he adjusted his monocle.

"Yoohoo, over here!" shouted Peter who had just lost his sanity and decided to dress up as a giant bag of Cheetos.

"Zounds!" exclaimed the Bulk, "Not only have we skipped the letter X, but my comrade Peter has dressed up as a giant bag of Cheetos, leaving me no recourse but to eat him!"

And so he did.

Bulk had some minor heartburn later, but that was the last sign of Peter... ever.

Until, that is, a few hours later when Calvin had to use the restroom.

(ehh, Mr. Fett? You have to go in alphabetical order.)

"Crazy gerbils!" Bulk exclaimed when he saw that Peter was in the shower... without a showercap.

"Did you come in to wash my back?"

"Egads!" he cried, "Didn't I eat you? And where's your shower cap", as he averted his eyes.

"For the love of God," Peter said glaring at Bulk, "you always have to bring that up don't you?"

"God has nothing to do with this," shouted Bulk, "Unless, of course, you are talking about that that."

"Hell's gay hula parties!" Peter exclaimed. "you are so oblivious!"

"Indubidably, I guess I am" replied the Bulk.

Just then, there was a hiccup in the space-time continuum and Calvin suddenly found himself back in his house, finishing his tea before he headed out to make them all pay.

Killer instinct told Calvin that he required more help to make them all pay.

So he asked who he could ask for help from.

(Psst, Marius, you need to go in alphabetical order)

"To Peter you must go," said the magical voice of Killer Instinct, "and you must pimp your street sweeper, as well."

"Ugh!" Calvin groaned as massive deja vu hit him in an instant.

"Verily, I do believe that I have done this before..." says Calvin when the deja vu spell passes.

While he sat on his couch waiting for his headache to pass, Calvin was able to convince himself that this was all Booster Gold's fault, that freaking jackass.

Xeroxing a few wanted posters promising a 2.5-and-a-half dollar reward for Booster Gold's head (alive, of course), Calvin set out to find out what the heck was happening to him and why he was still feeling deja vu.

Zebras ran amok on the streets, cats were sleeping with dogs, things were generally crazy.

And that was when everything was corrected by an anomoly(sp) in space-time.

psst spacepope no bizzare of the wall shit it's in the rules

"Bwhaha" Calvin laughed evilly as his plan was put into action

Calvin suddenly realized that he had come face to face with his Cheetoes, finally.

"Dude, where were you," asked the Cheetos, "You've been gone for 3 weeks!"

"Enjoying the fruits of my labor" he replied with a grin.

"Figures you'd be doing that, you perverted freak, " sighed the Cheetos, which were slowly disappering, along with everything else, as Calvin's hallucinations finally started to end, and Peter's face started to become clear, which was looking down upon Calvin, whom was apparently on the floor of the cafe down the street of his house, where he went every Tuesday for a fresh cup of joe and some smooth jazz, to unwind after a hectic Monday, which was the day he practiced run-on sentences.

"Gee, I guess I put too much cocaine in my coffee." Calvin said as he poured the rest out of his cup.

Hardly phased by the recent turn of events, Calvin and Co. continued their quest to rid the city of all evil.

Incredibly, all of the evil had vanished.

Juxtaposed between a rock and a hard place, Calvin Montoya made an awful choice, a choice that will change the world.

Kooky, I know, but Calvin became evil, just to fill in the newly made gap.

Lamenating his super-villain license would be his first step.

Maybe, for my first evil act, I shall poison the ice cream supply of the world.

"Not the ice cream!" screamed the helpless citizens.

OH yes, It has to be the ice cream, then the soda pop.

Pepsi Co. got pissed at this statment, and sent their ninja army to kill this new threat.

"Quite Enough!" Quoth Quixote the Quixotic, Questioning how his Quest might e'er Quell the Quarrel.

Robocop arrived on the scene, attempting to arrest the evil Pepsico.