Suddenly, Susy Simian, Calvin & Co.'s talking monkey from so way back, stood on the "Podium of Truth", which everyone on Earth could see from anywhere, and shouted in the "Microphone of Loudness,

"WTF is going on here?"

"These are good cheetos!" stated everyone on Earth while completely ignoring Susy.

UNdeniably, things were getting wierder.

Vampires were the only who knew how to change things back to the regular wierdness.

Wierdness was unmistakable, and is the true villain in this story.

X-rated movies are the true villains, as they have poisoned the minds of those who write the stories.

Yes, but it's high time someone went on a quest to save the world from wierdness.

Zing! A bullet riccoced off of the wall next to calvin, Snapping him out of his chetos, and talking gorrilla daydream.

An anime cliche woman stood before him, her standard 9mm handgun pointed somewhere in his general direction.

Beautiful though she was, the anime woman hissed, "Calvin, I have been sent to kill you, for you are a danger to my master's plans!"

Plan given to me by... none other than.... my master!

"Queer, but beliveable," replied calvin, cool as a cucumber.

Really queer was what happened to the letters c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, and o, but that has little to do with what happened next, which was totally action-packed!

"Since you are about to die, I shall dramatically elaborate my master's plan!" said the woman using a horribly over-used cliche`.

"Time is a factor," said Calvin, who realized he was late for his hairdressers appointment.

"Uh, ok. I guess I'll just wait here then..." said the anime woman, who took a seat.

"Very, very late," said Calvin's personal hairdresser, Steve, when he arrived.

"Well, I'd tell you why I'm late, but it's a long and awesome story......got any Cheetos?"asked Calvin.

Xiphoid rays of light suddenly erupted from the hair-dresser, who was starting to desintigrate.

Yet after he faded, the cheetos were sitting on the hairdressing table.

Zebras also appeared, and started to play table hockey with the cheetos.

"Alright, could we please tone down the random crap?" said the deity of Calvin's world, who just happened to be passing by.

"Bitch, I think we cannot!" Said Calvin.

The passerby was however an extremely unstable person and chased Calvin down the street with a large bit of wood.

Comically, the rules were thrown out on Kikui's add in, but revived by the magical rule Nazi Mesden!

"Damn, I liked being rule-free," said Calvin, who was going to punch another passerby.

Everyone on Earth got mad at Mesden, the magical rule nazi, for bringing the rules back.

For the rule-nazi Mesden to die, Calvin knew he had to get the Ultimate Sword of Ultimate Supa' Destiny.

"Geez," sighed Peter looking at the rules,"Since she put herself in the game, didn't she break a rule herself thus causing a paradox?"

Ninja'd

"He's right," said calvin, then he Sayed the Magical rule-nazi that was decidedly NOT mesden, since the angellic Mesden would never break a rule ever in her life.

"I wonder when that guy is gonna come back?" said the anime woman as she hasn't been able kill something in the last 5 minutes.

Just then a giant robot, in an utter cliche, stamped the anime girl out of existence then dissapeared, reverting the story back to it's roots.

Kinda sad is the fact that no one can remember the story's original roots...

"Let's not let that get us down." said Calvin.

Many tried, but all failed to set this story back on track, until one day the deity of Calvin's world said, "Screw it," and reset the world back to where Calvin was getting his possoum lunch, but not before giving the warning, "If this happens again, I sware I'll come down there!"

No one tried to stop this as they were content with the decision, INCLUDING THE SPACE POPE.

"OH MY GOD! I'm totally not supposed to be here today!" quipped the store clerk.
Hey you know, we're not supposed to insert real posters in the game, just so you know.

"Piss off!" the deity screamed and smited the clerk with his Goddy powers.

Quickly, the slackers leaning against the outside of the store fled the scene of the smitiing, coincidentally heading for the very purveyor of possumly potables Calvin frequented.

Really, though, Calvin has finished his lunch, and wanted nothing more than to continue his quest to rid the city of all evil in his god-modded street sweeper that was dubbed "Clensing Fire", or something like that.

"Stupid kids!" shouted Calvin as he realized that the slimy slackers who slipped the scene slashed the Cleansing Fire's all-weather tires.

That this story is still limping on is as pitiful as a crippled racoon, so how about we start a new story?

"Unlikely", muttered the wandering Fourthfiend :D and he nudged Kyle out into the path of Calvin's 'Cleansing Fire' after jogging up the controls so Kyle would be unable to save himself this time.

"Very well," sighed Calvin's deity during the Deity-athon (which is a meeting/Bar-B-Q dinner between gods), "We may need to start over with a clean slate, the way things are going, but first we need to talk to a higher up before we act."

Wild hope surged through Calvin, Kyle, Peter and the Simians as they all felt the sky begin to shudder and the earth crack and heave signalling a merciful end to the tragedy they seemed doomed to repeat.

Xeneon Bulbs alit on their heads as they thought. okay, we end the current story on z and start a new one on A.

"You are the cause of all this!" Calvin pointed at the One-Sentence God with firey determination in his eyes.

"Zoinks this is it" cried the poor lame plot and with a gasping breath fell onto it's side, purple tongue lolling out and eyes rapidly glazing. (THE END...please)

Away from the world of Calvin and Tybien, lied a different planet (that we shall refer to as Internland) that had not yet been infected by the galatic plague of randomness.

'Bout then was when a young lad of 9 was leaving his house for his morning tea, dry cleaning, and video game marathon.

Curiosly, there seemed to be a kingly air about this young vagabond, and his destiny is a tale unlike any other.

Dutifully the young lad pondered his plans as he finished his tea and decided that dry cleaning being the most unsavory of his tasks, began to walk to town clothing in hand.

"Eh, what's this?" screeched a harpy as the young lad passed by her tree.

"Finias, Finias Marangue" replied the boy as he stopped beneath the tree.

Gladly the Harpy accepted the proffered ciggarette and they sat and smoked and talked of days of yore.

"How come they stopped showing episodes of Batman Beyond anyway?" The harpy asked Finias.

I don't really know, perhaps we should call the correct broadcasting clearing house.

"Just hold on a second--you honestly think that the people who pulled Batman Beyond would give us a straight answer if we called them?"

"K... that IS a valid enough point, but... HEY! What the hey is THAT?" demanded the lad pointing at the horizon.

"LMAO, I's M3! D0c70r l33t HaXX0r!" cried the stange man who lept from the bush the lad was pointing to, "AnD 1 4m teh ON Tha D3s7ro1ed that n00b sh0w "B47M4N B3Y0ND!"

(I need to work on my l337 sp34k...)

"My god," said the lad, "it's like a vortex of stupidity."

"No...but I think that it is time for me to fly away now" grinned the Harpy, as it lifted itself into the humid air.

"Oh, please don't leave me alone with this nutjob, Harpy!"

Pretty scared was the lad, but he had nothing to fear, for when Calvin's deity, (who was ruling this land part-time while on vacation nearby (which the other gods said he deserved after the whole "Calvin" issue)) heard Doctor Elite Hacker speak, he looked down and said "Oh, hell no!"

Quickly the Harpy came back to the sullen lad, bringing with it some lopped off branches, weilding them like double clubs in its hands.

Readily they set upon the Leet Doctor and beat him to death, handily I might add.

we skipped a few letters folks XD

Suddenly, the netnavi Bass.EXE jumped out and said, "lol 4ll j00 pu/\/y hu/\/\4n5 w1ll b3 d3-l33t3d 4nd t3h 3ngl15h l4ngu4g3 15 t3h d00m3d!"

"This guy smells like feet wrapped in week-old leathery bacon!" said the harpy trying despertly to get some air.

Unfortunatly for Bass.EXE, Calvin's deity had just arrived, and he wasn't very happy.

Verily, he whiped out all Leet speak in existence, and promised to continue killing all that used it, as was His divine right.

Which, of course is why there are some letters missing from this round, for none wished to hear the morbid screechings of 733t dude.

(if that was my fault, sorry, all.)

Xeres was skipping along on her way to town when she spotted a harpy and a young boy beating a man to death, "Hokey smokes what jerks!" she said not knowing that this was her introduction to Finias, her future love interest.

(edit) Oops my bad. It's also funny cause I named the kid. :sweatdrop

"Yeehaw, I just love beating men to death!" Finias shouted with joy while the harpy began using a crowbar.

"Zeolite clubs are better for bringing a human down, uhm, not that I would know ANYTHING about that," the harpy proclaimed.

At last Xeres arrived on the scene and confronted Finias and the Harpy who ignored her and continued their beating.

Beaming with joy, Finias finished the beating and turned to view the lovely Xeres

"Can you imagine that I`ve done six impossible things before breakfast today?" he inquired of Xeres, looking the being up and down with delight.

"Do I really want to know?" she replied.

"Everyone wants to know of my je ne sais quoi, beautiful," he replied with a wink.