#706: "But we don't have sails."
 

It took an extra two hours to get this one done due to script and layout difficulties/changes, but it was well worth it.

hehhe, nice.

Script and layout changes?
Hmm...
I wonder what this was originally gonna be...

*Kroze hums the Married With Children theme song*

Anyway,
I do believe this new direction now will only make things funner...
Poor Al... er... I mean Black Mage...

Also, since when did any of them have any pilot skills?
Wasn't the airship always set on Auto before?

Yaknow, I've never quite felt so...connected to a character as I do to Black Mage right at this moment.

MetalPsycho's channeling BM! We're all gonna die!

Bets on whether that old guy is gonna get hadokened, stabbed or "Goblin Punched".

You cobble women's shoes?

Does anyone else think that this is possibly an actual major turning point in which White Mage takes Black Mage's place as one of the four Light Warriors?
Or at least lasting long enough to complete a full story arc, anyhow.

That would mean that Black Mage would miss out on any new spells and such. Pity.

I admit that I was skeptical at first, but I'm now a firm believer in the Al Bundy Theory.

Why the hell did BM take over a shoe store, anyway? I would have figured that he'd just go on a homicidal rampage or something. Shoe salesman is the last thing I expected.

Which, I suppose, is why I read this comic.

Think about it a moment: the best thing about being a homicidal knife-wielding sociopath in charge of a place of business is that you get to personally do your own security work, and MAN is it fun.

BM's got himself a cushy setup - places of business tend to attract the most idiotic people imaginable like moths to a buglamp (ANYONE who's worked in retail before will vouch for me on this.) These people often tend to carry sums of money, with which they may or may not intend to purchase your goods/services with (yes, there are a few 'tards who don't, the types who try to shoplift or get a 99% discount or whatever. Again, anyone in retail will vouch for me on that.) Thus, BM has a constant source of money and idiots to stab/blast in order to get it, and doing so even does the human gene pool a favor by weeding out the morons. Anyone stupid enough to walk into a business owned by someone who doesn't let his customers (or his business's previous owner, for that matter) leave in one piece DESERVES their fate.

Oh sure, he can help the annoying old lady. TO HER DOOM! *insert maniacal laughter here* And you know, the whole "Al Bundy" theory really does seem to make sense, the more this arc continues.

In other developments, we learn, once again, that Fighter is not a pilot. Do not let him within 60 feet of the controls of any vehicle larger than a tricycle. Also, White Mage has apparently been to Gaia, which the rest of the Light(bulb) Warriors have not visited (unless, of course, it was the town they burnt down in the ORGY OF VIOLENCE just after their escape from the Class Change island.) I have to wonder how she got there - if memory serves, an airship is necessary for travel to Gaia.

I personally really love the first half of the comic much more than the 2nd half.

Why keep with the Light Warriors? Do an entire spinoff series on Black Mage and his shoes!

I really like how Thief is the only one to manage not falling on his face when the airships goes out of control.

Old ladies and their incessent nagging and unreasonable demands, tis the evil not even BM can overcome without using a knife!

Geeze, it's like they know they have nothing left to live for so it's the only sastisfaction they can get in life. Those sick and sadistic elderlies, whom need to be evil to make up for the fact they'll never share a bed with another non-senile man for the rest of their life.

No, Fighter was flying the airsub perfectly well, untill RedMage seized control from him.

Also, Cobbler BM is now the perfect person to sell King Steve his baby skin shoes.

*Is frozen in delight*

...

....

.......


.........


FUCKING HELL YES! AL BUNDY LIVES! (Dances the mobo) COme on everybody! DO THE FUCKING BUNDY!

Look more closely - Red Mage was still doing the "hand on chin" pose when the ship lost control. I would judge that to mean it lost control because Fighter left the controls - Red Mage had yet to touch them. When piloting any vehicle, always make sure that someone is piloting the vehicle, whether it's a pilot, copilot, or autopilot. Otherwise, we get unscheduled turbulence and dissatisfied passengers.

If I can infer anything from the positioning of the characters in Panel 11, it was Red Mage who STOPPED the errant craft by hanging onto the controls for dear life. If you notice, Fighter was thrown into the ceiling by the shaking, and Red Mage is upside-down, hand outstretched to grab the controls to end the mishap and keep himself from meeting the upper bulkhead. Thief's sticking to the floor, ninja-style, and White Mage is inverted at one point - it's possible she grabbed something to keep from meeting the ceiling as well.

...I want to be BM. I've seen it all in retail, and for the chance to be in his shoes right now....GAH! Envy!

I see people mentioning the Al Bundy Theory. What, exactly, is this Al Bundy Theory?

I believe this ought to clear up any confusion.

Great strip as always. One thing I'm really curious to ask Brian, though--what is this game involving one "Zanzibar the Warlock?" Does he mean Warlock as in the WoW class or the.... well, the D&D Class?

Piedmon, the newspost at the bottom of this comic, and the one at the bottom of this comic (which, admittedly, is more informative), should clear that up. Oh and this one's got a little info too - I think it's the first front-page newspost on the subject.

I would like to imagine that if an actual sane and reasonable person wanted his cobbling services, they wouldn't get knifed.

However, she has lived out most of her life, so...

More paint!

I wonder if the comics will continue to be split like this. I must admit, I think it's kind of cool to see what's going on with BM, then switch to the rest of the group.

I guess time will tell. Cause ya know Brian won't! :D

The Wandering God

Hey wait...

I just made another god damned following! (Of sorts)

Damnit, first it was the TheifscrewsRedMage Cult thing, that is still around, now it's BM is Al Bundy.

Sadly both are very, very true.

I am only silent because you are correct Burkion.

I think Gaia was the town where Fighter crashed the Airsub at, and where BM is right now. We've seen that WM in that town, and she was asking ppl about things there (like she did with BM, without knowing he was him), so it's very likely that the town they were (and where BM is is in, probably) is Gaia.

Thanks Lucis. BM as a cobbler is so freaking awesome!

I hope that's a skin colored skirt the old woman is wearing. :x

The other alternatives include:
*She's not wearing anything on her lower body.
*She's pulling up her shirt and flashing BM.
*She's wearing a minishirt and very low-cut pants that might look good on a 50 year younger girl.

Al Bundy?
 

I'd like to know, who in the world is Al Bundy?

Ugh, of course its a skin colored skirt. I just basically reflected an existing FF1 overland sprite. I'm not that sick & disturbed. Besides, if those were her legs, they'd be skirt shaped and she'd have purple toes.

The thing I'm curious about, is did the airship fly all crazy just BECAUSE RM thought about flying it? If you look, while the airship is flying crazy, RM still has his hand on his chin. He doesn't even reach for the controls.

A character on the show, Married with Children, which played on the FOX channel for a while.

SWB

Okay, reading this topic, I'm gonna have to ask. Who the hell is Al Bundy?

That was a good comic. I'm expecting a good show by Black Mage with a flurry of stabs and shower of an old woman's blood!

Also. Who put Fighter in charge of flying their deathtrap?

Here's something I did'nt know: White Mage wears high heels( or so I think). In that last panel, there are two red dots under her shoes...I wonder if this will have a link with BM's cobblering in the futur?:D

Al Bundy.

I don't know if I'm sad that you people are uncultured, or sad that you're probably too young to know about him.

It's probably the latter, although I know completely NOTHING about 97% of anything.

*Snickers* It's good for Fighter that Black Mage wasn't around in the second to last panel.

For those wondering what I mean, take a "semi-pervert" perspective like BM or such and look at Fighter's sprite and look where his eyes would be peering at that moment. ^.~ If Fighter whispers a word about this, his life will be... well, it can't be forfeit because he can't seem to die outside from instant resurrection or timely salvation. But that would certainly put a wedge between BM/Fighter's relationship

Well, Black Mage had that oppurtunity to peek up White Mage's robes before at Mount Gurgu, but that chance wasn't as glorious an event as he would have liked.

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040909
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040911

She doesn't appear to be wearing shoes.

I agree with Skit; I strangely enjoy Thief being the only one who managed to keep his feet. NINJAS ALWAYS WIN.

Has NOBODY else noticed what RM said? "I thought you said you were a pilot." Now, I don't laugh out loud when reading very often, but that line is FTW. Always.

Can't beleive some of you FOOLS don't know who Al Bundy is! He is the one that God imagined when he said "Let there be man"!

But if you FOOLS still need to know more of the God of Men, and the show he appears on (Comes on FX every single fucking day! YES!) then go here: http://www.bundyology.com

By the by, here is prehaps the best and most inspiring speech ever made by any mortal man: So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!

And here's one that fits this scene of BM talking to the Old Lady quite well!

Lady: I want something to go with this dress.
Al: A bubbling cauldron?
Lady: You've got a lot of nerve.
Al: I need it to get this close to your feet.

Maybe White Mage is barefoot? Is that some sort of subtle symbolism with regards to Black Mage's cobbling occupation?

From what I could tell, she wears sandles.

For the record, I know who Al Bundy is but I hate that show with a vengeance. The intro song alone makes me want to tear my ears off. It's so damn stupid. Might as well watch wrestling. . .

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage,
This I tell ya brother, you can't have one without the other.

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage,
It's an institute you can't disparage,
Ask the local gentry, and they will say is element'ry.

Try, try, try to separate them,
It's an illusion.
Try, try, try and you will only come
to this conclusion.

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage,
Dad was told by mother
You can't have one
You can't have none
You can't have one without the other.



HAH!

No, I work in retale and I hate people.

Nail to the head. Lucky jerk, having all that magic and being able to get away with that stuff. For now, anyway.

A good and rather logically-consistent point. Shows where my brain was when I posted that they'd never visited there. Especially since BM and WM were shown in the SAME TOWN before BM did the whole storage-closet-hide-and-be-ejected schtick.

Errr... I don't get it.

In this post, I said the Light(bulb) Warriors had never visited Gaia, but White Mage had.

Then YF-23 pointed out, that when White Mage Returns, she and BM met in a small town who's name wasn't directly mentioned in the comic, and that aforementioned town was likely the Gaia she refers to in the latest comic.

You know, I just realized Fighter finally (and briefly) defeated his nemesis, gravity, by flying to the top of the airsub... deathtrap... thing. :D

This comic was just priceless

:rmage: I thought you said you were a pilot.

Remember how Burkion said he has turned into Al Bundy. Well, if he is truly like Al bundy, you know somehting bad will happen. I can see The Airsub crashing and destroying his job.

Also note that last time a non Warrior went with the group, he ended up in pieces. So this may be WM's last adventure, :sweatdrop

Considering the number of times BB & WM teamed up with the guys on other occasions, I'm not so sure that team ups lead to death sentences.

SWB