I'm an asshole-io-lio-lio-lio-lio.....
 

It occurs to me that I'm not the only one who gets in a mood to go randomly piss someone off. All of us get in that mood from time to time. As quoted by Dennis Leary...

I know that each of us gets that urge every once in a while, or more often. So what is your favorite thing to do to piss people off? Do you target a group, or just the random schmuck that gets to be the spur-of-the-moment target of your ire? I'll start us off with an example.

I, for one, like targeting Star Trek conventions. Did I like Star Trek? Yep, I admit it. I'm a geek. But getting dressed up like they do at those things? That goes a bit far for me. I'd only consider it if we were, say, re-enacting a Bejoran Wedding (that is, everyone is in teh nood. That's fun.). Otherwise, it's just a bit much. But some people get their rocks off on that sorta thing. More power to ya, just know that I'll be driving on by with some shit to toss at ya soon.

My favorite method is to lean out the car as I'm driving by and scream at them, "Star Wars SUCKS!"

Yep. Star WARS. Why? You could yell that Star Trek sucks, and hardly any of them would care. They'd just dismiss you as yet another ignorant, primitive life-form that cannot appreciate their finer tastes. But change the "Trek" to "Wars" and they get insulted. God forbid someone should lower their geekdom status to THAT particular pile of trash! This usually results in several of them quaking in impotent rage, foaming at the mouth, and yelling back, "It's... NOT... Star... WARS!!!! It's Star TREK!!11!one1"

I think next time, I might even toss a bag of Star Wars toys into the crowd, each with a label containing an email address on it, just to see how many flames I can stir up. That could be fun.

So, what are your methods?

I saw that on TV once.

Usually I just say a bunch of degrading insults to the person, or continue doing something that's pissing them off.

Lately I find the best way to piss someone off is to repeat what they just said in the form of a question. It works especially well if they've said it multiple times already. For example:

"Oh man, FF7 is so awesome! It's like, the best RPG ever. You HAVE to play it, it's AWESOME!"

To which you reply: "Is it awesome?"

Simple, but effective.

Airhorn + Golf Course = Good Times

Water balloons + Tall Building = Even More Good Times

generally I just express my real opinions to people. Apparently people don't agree with them.

I tend to do the same thing. Or, I make fun of their mom.

Case in point: On FFXI the other night, someone was really starting to piss me off. For some reason, they asked me what I was doing in "rl", and I replied with, "Riding your mom like a bronco?" He gets all mad and starts saying his mom's dead. I then procede to rip into him with necrophilia jokes.

He deserved this, by the way.

I tend to be pissed at the slightest quirks of people when I want to be an asshole and insult people ruthlessly.

As an addenum to my first post, making suggestions or pointing things out that people JUST made works well too.

Another example scenario:

"I'll just set this down over here." (Points at a nearby spot)

"Hey, I have a better idea, why don't you set it down over there." (Point to the same spot)

Repeat.

One time I went to the mall with my friends while wearing a chain around my neck. Attached to the chain was a 13 in. spinner hubcap. Hilarity ensues.

When I want to piss people off, I usually do different things based on context. Kinda hard to describe, but very effective.

When i'm playing custom games in Halo 2, I usually find the biggest douche bag, and kick the living hell out of him.

It pisses them off so much, you would think I killed their mother and made them watch.

Did you know you've just become my hero? I gotta try that.

In Halo 2, wait until someone starts insulting you, then find them and constantly kill them. And make sure they understand.

Whenever you fight someone in an arcade fighter, and if you beat them, they always will tell you, "Well, it was an off-day for me," or something. That's when you say, "I'd hate to see your on-days."

Trash talking gets the most riles out of people.

Well, my brother's best friend is the most stereotypically gay guy I have ever seen, so gay jokes (no, I'm not a homophobe. I just love to piss my brother off) get under his skin like a splinter on a water slide. The ones that work best are when I tell him I've changed a great work of literature to be about him and his friend, then make the title of something into a jab. Examples-

A Tale of Two Pickle Gangsters
Charge of the Light in the Loafers Brigade

He always says he'd kill me if he wasn't laughing to hard to move. Mean AND funny always wins.

My friend once was watching me play Metal Gear Solid 2. I was at the beginning part where you're Snake, and he tells me that the explosives won't go off if I shoot them.

He still loves to bring that up.

I find it fun to look at people. Just stare at them for a long time until they notice you and feel really unnerved.

Halo 2. Pfft. Man, we gotta get you guys on some better games... like Unreal Tournament. :cool:

One of my favorite things is to be playing capture the flag, with friendly fire at 0 damage. My teammates are safe, right? Not if one of them pisses me off and I later find him sniping the enemy from the edge of a cliff or bridge. No damage, yes, but a headshot with a sniper rifle from half the map away will still push him off his ledge into his own crater below.

Good times.

Even better wen I play PGR3 I love to dirty race when im told not to.

It's as if I really did just crash a 100000000$ car into a wall, and all did was say "Sorry next time don't bump into me." as I took first place.

Mostly I just see how far I can push my thinly veiled hatred of my coworkers before it becomes just outright hatred.

Also when I'm in traffic, and some douchebag with like a water cooler on his Honda Civic decides to tailgate me, so I slow down by about fifteen miles an hour and watch 2 Fast 2 Furious fuming in my rear-view mirror.

The trick is any time he's about to change lanes, that's when you speed up and pass a few cars, then right when he catches up to you, you slow right the hell back down again.

...hug?

I have the best time pissing off my friends, because by the time I consider them friends, I know just the buttons to push.

Moral? Don't ever be my friend. >:D

I remember driving by anti-Bush protesters one time, and I rolled the window down, stuck my head out, and screamed "NUKE IRAQ!"

That was fun.

that is just priceless.