The Warring States of NPF - The stupid thoughts we have.

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- - The stupid thoughts we have. (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=14653)

My single worst thought I've ever had:

"I am definately not drunk enough."

When you say that, you've had enough.

Just today, I was unplugging something and not paying attention to what I was doing. Of course, I get shocked, and jump up, and try to shake off the tingly feeling in my arm. GF asks, "Ohmygod, are you OK?"
I reply, "Yeah, I just touched the wrong part of the plug. It didn't hurt or anything, I was just shocked. I mean, surprised. No, wait, I actually was shocked. Damn, I'm stupid."

I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "Wow, that car looks a lot like mine." And then figure out I'm looking at my car.

EDIT: Forgot about this one. During the summer, I was trying to get to the other side of the garage. The kind of garage that is so full of junk that it's basically an obstacle course. Well, after stepping on a gas can to get into the bed of the pickup truck, then walking across two sawhorses stacked on top of one another which are holding up a trailer, without using my hands, with the only light source being a 1x2 foot window on the other side of the room, my brain finally kicks in and tells me, "You are not the Prince of Persia. You are going to die."

Don't keep pet fish.

You popped an old memory of mine out of storage with that electric shock one of yours. I think this happened about three years ago. I was cleaning my fishtank, and temporarily removed the heater. I could do so by grasping the heated glass portion with my bare hand. Noticing as such, I though it wouldn't be necessary to unplug it as I was only going to take a second. After finishing up, I glanced at the heater.

The glass was now coated in chalky mineral deposits from the water. I couldn't even see the spring-like heating coils inside. Only mildly concerned by the amount of crap, I wrapped my fingers around it to wipe the stuff off and figure out what it was.

*EXPLETIVE!*

The deposits only formed because the water had boiled off. My fingerprints were now missing across the thumb, index, middle finger, and a bit of the palm of my left hand. Somehow I had forgotten that heat dissipates far better in water than air. :stressed: Common physics!

Then my instincts chose to seize the day and overrode the rest of my common knowledge.

"Hot bad! Put it back put it back!!"

The water hissed and boiled on contact around the heater gingerly held by my good hand.

'Noise worse! Get it out again!!'

If you take something hot, and expose it to cold, the sudden temperature drop can break it. It did.

*FURTHER EXPLETIVE!*

I was now holding the small plastic part of my once heater, maybe an inch wide, two inches long. The glass was in pieces on the floor being hazardous. The ceramic rod holding the heating coils in place had fallen to the floor, stretching the coils down with it. Blue-orange sparks flew as the coils dangled stupidly.

I felt like I was frozen glaring at it in slow motion, when my common sense kicked in again and I refrained from dropping the mess - contact with those unpredictably bouncy coils could have killed me. I maneuvered the live wires away from everything including the floor and reached for the plug. Safe at last.

Holding nearly two feet of searing hot electric death is not something you want to do.

Y'know what? I just remembered my DUMBEST THOUGHT OF ALL TIME.

I burned Easy Mac. I forgot the water.

My thought: "It's not that Easy!"

By the way, the smell reminds me distinctly of toasted marshmallows.

You know this may seem a little off topic, but how do you accually get a job at Wal-Mart anyway?

You see, at my local Wal-Mart there is a high turn over rate because most of the people there only work for a year. Then they quit because they are heading off to college and they just needed a little extra cash.

Also one time I was trying to start a BBQ and I decided that making a trail of lighter fluid, I was a little younger and stupider.

Well when I did this I did it on bare ground. As it turns out grass does not like lighter fluid for it's liquid food.

To this very day there is a line on my lawn leading to my BBQ.

Wal-Mart? They harvest units from their secretly-grown human crops. They're designed with basic knowledge and cognitive skills to perform the job, but are otherwise mindless. The only problem with this system is that the specimens seem to gain sentience after about a year or so. Hence the turnover.

Stupid moment as I read your post ZERO: "Dude, you should draw pictures across your lawn with that stuff." *headslap*

I do this again and again, with those bloody outdoor candles. I can't get the damn lighter's flame all the way down to the wick.
I think, "I'll tilt the candle and the lighter on their side!" I always, always manage to angle it so the flame goes straight into the thumb I'm pressing the button with. I have an excellent sense of pattern recognition, and this one instance still eludes me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by FenrisWolf

But have you managed to ruin it three straight times, a different way each time? My ever so brilliant sister managed to do that.

Once I forgot my name.
Thinking, "What's my name again?" seems kind of dumb to me.

I just remembered my crowning stupid thought.

It was winter. It was the day that we were going to go on vacation. All I had to do was go to school for two periods, go home, and enjoy a week in California.

I couldn't even get out of the driveway without messing up.

My dad had parked the car the night before. It was an old clunker of a car...a 1975 Suburban. For some reason, it was decided I should park in the hardest to get to spot in our driveway: Off to the lefthand side next to the basketball pole.

Anyways, the reason why I bring up the fact that my dad had parked the car the night before was because he parked it at a different angle than what I was used to. After seeing my struggle to pull out without jumping the curb, my dad says "Get out, I'll pull it out of the driveway."

So, I thought, "Okay", and got it.

...He never said "Put in park and get out", he just said, "Get out."

So, I open the door, and start to get out, and I realize the car is still moving. Instead of putting my foot on the break, I put my foot on the ground, and tried to bring the suburban to a halt Flintstones style...which really didn't work.

Opened car doors and basketball poles don't mix. >_<

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snook

My single worst thought I've ever had:

"I am definately not drunk enough."

When you say that, you've had enough.

Hrmm... This is a comon one for me.

Recently I've begun thinking "I'm not as drunk as I should be by now" a lot at parties, but that has more to do with the effect of chronic alcohol consumption on your tolerance for the stuff than anything else.

More to the point for the thread, though:

"This is definitely not a terrible idea!"

-applicable in any one of a thousand situations over the past year.

I used to constantly make really dumb decisions while I was at uni.

"Go home and work... Or go to the bar and start drinking?"

"Go home and work... Or stay for another pint?"

"Do some work while I'm in the computer lab... Or browse the Internet?"

"Do some work while I'm at home... Or play Medieval: Total War?"

"Buy course textbooks... Or buy more Space Marines?"

"Course materials or alcohol? Course materials... alcohol. Ahh screw it, I don't need those textbooks anyway, I've got my notes..."

"Do some coursework, or paint some 40K miniatures?"

Yeah. There's a good reason why I got a 2.2...