She lurks every once in a while. Mostly in Discussion, though, 'cause I mentioned there are some fairly intelligent people over there. Matter of fact, though, several people in my family lurk this forum. And my nephew recently joined.

Me doing a horrible Brando impression -"You mess with Elbodo, you mess with the family."

Ontopic, I've got a new one from last week, testing how hot these HOT chilis my dad brought home are, by sticking one in my mouth and eating eat, seeds and all. It was................. unpleasant.

"I wonder what happens if I stop breathing..."

"Let's find out."

Heh. For me it's more like:

*Laying down watching a movie*

*Randomly stops breathing*

A few seconds later,

"I'm not breathing!"

This has happened to me on multiple occasions. It's like I forget to breathe or something.

I belch sometimes and I think "I don't remember eating that..."

Roommate had to clean the vents in our room, so she got my rolling chair. About a minute later, she fell, and said "How the hell did I fall!?"

I just looked at her, looked at the chair, and said "Well, it could be the earth's rotation shifted suddonly, causing you to fall off. Or it could be the wheels under the chair that caused that."

"I wonder how much it would really hurt if I drove into that telephone pole / stuck a knife into that power outlet / licked my car battery / shot myself in the foot."

"Why are there ants outside?"

"Oh good, I finally got a yellow jacket trap to get rid of all these damn yellow jackets. Wow, it sure does attract a lot of yellow jackets. I know! I'll hang it right outside my back door!!"

I wasn't even able to go outside until after dark because of all the evil bees swarming all over the place.

Ryanderman I have regrettably done one of the things you mentioned and witneesed the other two. I have multiple times inserted metal objects into light sockets, its just a very uncomfortable tingling sensation, unless you short it out across your body, then it burns and you get hurt. A friend of mine fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his truck into a phone pole. I was the one who went and picked him up, he was angry that was all, very angry (he had to pay for a new phone pole). Another friend shot himself straight through the butt with a 22 (he sat on it), and yeah he cried.

One that lives on with me to this day is, "Eh I've got something in my eye, oh well I'll rub my eye...WITH MY PHOSPHOROUS (sp) COVERED HANDS!!". My eyes swelled shut and and my sinuses went into overdrive, I ended up wandering around the construction site I was working at blind asking for someone to please direct me to the eyewash station.