NPF Avatars IV, Chapter I: The Comet out of Space
 

OOC: You know how I said the RP would start in 8 hours? I lied.

It could be called a typical domestic scene, creating the illusion of peace and normality before some momentous event comes to shatter it. Certainly there were two people sitting having breakfast, but they were hardly normal.

The first, while resembling a female ape descendant, was in fact a creature of Chaos. The second also had something of a complex story in that she was an emancipated anime magical girl, formerly a badly drawn enemy boss but after a character redesign she had undergone a significant increase in artistic quality, although having a marked resemblance to a character sketch. Arhra had named her Yuri and let her stay out of a vague sense of obligation. Having an unpaid housekeeper was also nice.

However, the scene wasn't exactly peaceful either. Some of Arhra's behaviour had been erratic since the events of the last Avatar RP, even by her standards and Yuri wanted to put a stop to it.

"Arhra-chan," she said, seemingly unable to be trained out of adding that suffix, "don't you think you're getting a bit addicted to this new energy draining thing you have? I've seen you sucking on the end of extension cords."

"Do you expect me to stick my tongue in the powerpoint instead?" Arhra replied, sounding vaguely mystified.

Yuri knew she couldn't use the cost argument - Arhra was mysteriously affluent. Successfully suing a god accounted for part of that mystery. Able to see that continuing this approach wouldn't work on Arhra, Yuri tried a different tack, "And there's all those weird monsters you've been chasing down, trying to get their abilities. Why do you even bother? Most of the abilities you learn from them are useless!"

"Are you saying this isn't useful?" Arhra replied, feeling insulted. Her face screwed up in a rictus of concentration and, with a pop, a hard boiled egg appeared in her hand. "Besides, I'm helping people - I slew that dragon that was terrorising that backwater peasant village just the other day."

"You just wanted to be able to breath fire!"

"Who doesn't?" Arhra replied jauntily as she picked off the egg's shell and took a bite.

In desperation, Yuri seized upon one last complaint as Arhra finished her egg, "And there's all the food you've been eating too. If I ate as much as you have been, I'd be a ball!" Yuri prodded Arhra's flat, toned even, stomach accusingly.

Arhra opened her mouth to begin a rebuttal involving her exotic metabolism when she was interrupted by something that actually possessed relevance to the plot. On the television, until now just background noise, came, "...Scientists are baffled by a mysterious new object they have discovered in space. It is tentatively being declared a comet and believed to be composed of the theorised, virtually undetectable, cold, dark matter. Although no readings can be taken of the cometary body itself, it was found due to its unusual corona, believed to be energy released by the comet." A picture flashed up on screen. It bore an uncanny resemblance to a solar eclipse; a disc of blackness ringing with fire. But these was one key difference - the ghostly, wavering halo was rainbow hued, shifting irregularly in colour.

As the newsreader droned on, Yuri noticed Arhra was standing looking blankly into space. "Are you all right Arhra-chan? You look like you've just seen some ominious portent of onrushing doom."

Arhra blinked and seemed to snap out of it, "That would be because I have. I'll have to check it isn't a false alarm. I should be back later today." Arhra recovered a small bundle from upstairs and left hurriedly, leaving a puzzled Yuri behind her. True to her word, she returned shortly after midday, unburdened and looking tired. Taking Yuri aside, she explained what was going on and got the girl to help make preparations.

The wheels were set in motion, a message sent to call the NPFers to gather. It read thusly, "You are cordially invited to discuss the imminent apocalypse over afternoon tea. Bring weapons. Sincerely, Arhra." No-one had ever accused Arhra of being sane.

Garud was exhausted. He had been fighting demons without much rest, but this was his chance to catch up on the sleep he had missed. He lay his head on the bed and closed his eyes when...

Thorque burst into the room with a pot on his head, a pan in the right hand and a wooden spoon in the left. He was making an awful lot of racket.

"IT'S MAIL TIME. TIME FOR THE MAIL. MAIL MAIL MAIL. COMES LIKE A SNAIL. RHYMES WITH TRAIL. DOWN COMES HAIL. MY ASS IS VERY-"

"THORQUE! That's enough dammit. Let me sleep in peace."

"Oki-doki. But there's two letters for you."

Thorque handed Garud the two letters. The demon slayer opened the first one. It had an invite to the magic tourney that was happening soon. It said to assemble a team... but he could not be bothered to read the rest. The second letter was from Arhra.

"Hmm... this is strange. Usually she/he mails me bills for property damages. Or yells at me through voice mail... and there was that restraining order. Still... another opportunity to save the world. Well, these guys need me. Well, why not?"

Garud packed up his things, got dressed into battle gear and collapsed at the door of his house, snoring terribly.

___

When Garud woke up, he was at the meeting place. He was face down on the ground and glass littered his body. It was painful.

"Who in their right mind would do such a thing like this?"

"I'M A HELPER!"

"Oh... "

The room was quiet and pale, the mysterious death of immaculate bureaucracy and the bleached-out glow of fluorescent lighting. Within it, a man, dressed in a simple black suit, was busy over his computer; the kind of busy that can only be achieved through hours of non-work and a sudden discovery of just how much of your life the internet can devour all at once. He seemed completely oblivious of the world around him, at least, until the sudden half-scream of the ancient fax machine pealed out through the stale air. A squeak of desk-chair wheels marked the man’s movement over towards this tired hulk of antediluvian technology. Out of it was spat a simple, short message that sent the man into action.

Well, after he finished his post, of course.

He pushed aside two large, extravagant mahogany doors and entered a large, bright office. The far wall was a set of windows that looked out over a cityscape of bright sky, shining architecture, and the glittering sapphire of the sea off to the right. Inside the room, however, it was a mess. Various books and papers were strewn across the orchid-colored carpet and mahogany desk in the middle of the room. The fine walnut bookshelves that adorned part of three of the walls were stacked haphazardly and several of their contents were spilling out. However, all this was ignored as the man half-jogged down to the massive desk and, more importantly, the man who sat in a large, leather chair facing away from it.

“Sir,” he called antecedantly as he arrived at the desk and slowly made to move around it.

“What?” Came the irate response.

“This fax came for you, I think you need to read it.” The man sighed, and swivelled his large chair to the side, holding out one grey-sleeved hand. He received and read the single line on the paper quickly.

“Apocalypse...” he mused, “Oh, thank you Joachim,” he caught himself.

“So, shall I arrang-”

“No,” KP cut off, “I’m not going.”

“...sir? How many times are you going to ignore the apocalypse?”

“How many times are they going to have the apocalypse?”

“...touche. But, sir... shouldn’t we still do something?”

KP sighed again, “Well... outfit one of those first model clones with a processor, give it some weapons and send it out.” Joachim looked incredulous, but simply nodded and moved swiftly out of the room.

KP reached over to the desk and grabbed a manilla folder. A folder with a picture of a solar eclipse stapled to the front. He leafed through it with a bored distance before throwing it onto the carpet and turning his gaze back to the window, a blank look in his eye.

Not long after a black helicopter appeared above the meeting place. Or, at least, the assumed meeting place. On its flank the helicopter bore the stylized ‘ET’ of EdenTech Industries, stolen just enough from the old movie logo to make people remember it and feel a sense of childhood happiness... or intense creepiness. Frankly, the second would probably be there anyway if you knew anything at all about this particular ET. The overall look of the helicopter was that it was trying to be formal--the odd, offensive mockery that only inanimate objects and penguins can pull off. And everyone loves penguins... anyone who isn’t a horrible, twisted, evil monster, anyway.

If one had particularly sharp hearing, they might have been able to hear the conversation taking place just within the helicopter... more likely the sound of the rotors would have simply deafened them.

“So we’re here?”

“Yes, get out.”

“Okay, I’ll... wait, shouldn’t I get a ladd-oof!” A form arced out of the helicopter’s open side-door, a foot just barely visible through it. There was the slow, almost comical crescendo of a yell until KP landed on the earth below with a preposterous thud.

The grey-clad form twitched slightly.

”I hurt.”

Fenris was sleeping under his favorite bench when he felt a poke on his side.

"Ey, Fenris. Wake up."

"Unnnngh.... What? Can't you see I'm taking a nap?"

"I'm sorry, I must have missed it. You've been summoned by Arhra."

"What's she want this time?"

"End of the world, and a cup of tea."

"There's gonna be food there? I'm sold," Fenris said and he immediately gathered his knapsack and his mallet, and said, "So, where am I going?"

"Follow me."

And he did. And Fenris was sitting awkwardly in the parlor waiting for the news, and more importantly, the tea.

I was in my armor, observing some specialed training of a squad of my troops, watching them as they naviage through an obsticle course while fully outfitted in battle gear. They were almost at the end when they had to go through a doorway represting a building, when they just opened it. There was a bright flash and the 6-man squad was knocked out from the trap. I sighed and said "Tsyr, make sure that they get looked over, then send them to their barracks. I'll go over their work later." I said, noting that the sun was setting. I went back to my office, where I saw an envelope. Opening it up I saw that it was a call for forumites to come togeather to battle off another end of the world threat. I got up and went looking for Dragonsbane. After conferring with him, I gathered up my gear, and headed out to the meeting place

"Damnit...Another apocalypse?" Mesden asked herself a bit irrately, "Stupid magical letters that magically show up while you're trying to figure out this DAMN EDIT BUTTON!"

She was...uh...still a bit 'new' to the forums. With something that can be compared to firing a nuklear warhead at a kitten, Mesden left whatever computer room she was in via overly excessive ethereal BOOM!

Oh, and she's going to Arhra. You know, like everyone else.

PyrosNine wandered the world before him. It was a strange land, covered in clouds of endless dust, which was invisible to all but him. There were also strange phantoms called Specters, which seemed to suck away attention from adults, draining them off their souls. They didn't bother Nein, because he never paid attention to anything.


There were also Angels, who rebelled against a Faux authority, but PYros took no stock with them. They led people to do wicked things in the name of saving the world. He was fairly sure this world and those connected to it were going to hell in a handbag, and he'd have to leave soon. But first, to raid some houses for some sandwiches. Interdimensional travel made you quite hungry. Or, more like moved you to a dimension where you had not eaten in the first place.

But just as he was about to break into a deserted home, he felt a hand grasp his leg. "Mr PyrosNine? I have a message for you from an 'Arhra'." It was an teleporting messenger, used by the NPF forums. They had a teleportation system designed to send messengers to their targets no matter where they are. Even to other dimensions. The tricky part, however, was getting the messengers back.

PyrosNine cut open the envelope and gazed through it's contents. "Hmm...Arhra, Huh? End of the world again? Dark meteor?....Forget THAT!" Pyros flung the letter in the messenger's face and kept walking. "Sorry. I'm not about to give up my vacation for some stupid dark meteor."

The messenger watched Pyros walk off...and he was uneasy. He should have teleported back by now, but the letter was still in his possession and he could not go home until it was not. He supposed he could just lay it on the ground, but..

Suddenly prowling shimmering beasts rose from the surrounding area, and swarmed the man. In panic he pulled out a gun and shot at t hem, but it was no use. Within seconds, he was but a husk of man.
-------------------------------------------------

Pyros wandered this strange world, similar yet different to his own. It was far more technologically advanced, and fantastic in all things, whereas his own world was less sporadic and more reserved in it's magic. It was a world of chaos, more chaotic than his own, and he presumed it had something to do with his dimensional other.

But as he was walking, he sensed a joining. A force was coming to this world to destroy it, and those who were able to stop it were massing together, as was the natural order.

Pyros wondered. Normally, he knew that he had to duck out of these events so younger, weaker heroes would have the chance to prosper and grow into stronger beings. But in this world, was the same score still there?

Perhaps he should help..but what if he was just interfering, an interdimensional meddler in affairs not his own?

Pyros thought and debated about all this for a few moments, then decided. The other Pyros had deemed this a vacation. Well, if it was a vacation for him, then it was a vacation for Pyros as well. Pyros took a leap into the air, and was gone.

He would watch....

In an apartment on the upper east side of block 53568391 in quadrent 4 of the eastern segment of the NPF residential sector, a blue armour clad figure was dawdling about, looking for something to do. He heard the letterbox snap shut as the just delivered letter slowly fell by the door. He walked over and grabbed it before it hit the ground. Reading it he began to grin.

"Apocalypse? Sounds fun. I'm there!"

He grabbed his orange cloak, made sure his sword and staff were in place, and headed out for adventure! Then came back to get a map when he realised when he didn't know where Arhras place was. Then again to set the prerecord for his favorite shows. Apocalypses can take a while. Then for a third time to get some change for the bus. They charge a ton these days. But then, definatly on to adventure.

The letter floated gently downwards, like a white leaf falling from some unknown tree. Y'know. The kind of tree that envelopes come from. It wafted through the air, occasionally tumbling over itself or twirling like a ballet dancer. It settled lightly on a wide, pink hat brim. There it sat for some time.

Mauve, the owner of said hat, lazily stared up at the white corner that overhung the edge of the brim. She toyed with the idea of reaching up and removing the offending letter from her precious hat, but she figured it would probably be bad news. That's generally how things worked around here.

Instead, the mage simply returned her gaze to the book on her lap. She was currently seated outside, underneath a particularly shady tree, her legs stretched out in front of her and her back leaning against the smooth bark. Calmly, she flicked away the junebug that had landed on her knee, brushed her bangs out of her eyes, readjusted herself to avoid the creeping ray of sunlight that broke through the dense leaves above her, and turned the page of her book. She could pretend that the letter didn't exist.

A few moments later, the breeze caught said letter and deposited it directly on the page she was reading.

"Stupid letter," Mauve said. "Oh well, it's probably somebody's garbage. It can't be addressed to me or anything."

The wind caught the letter again, turning the envelope over. "TO MAUVE MAGE," the envelope read.

"Must be some other Mauve."

There was a leaf on top of the letter, when the wind blew it away, Mauve could see the rest of the address.

"TO MAUVE MAGE: CURRENTLY SEATED UNDER A TREE, READING A BOOK. WEARING A STUPID PINK HAT AND YELLOW BOOTS THAT TOTALLY CLASH."

"...Damn." Well, there was no avoiding it now. Muttering to herself, the mage tore open the envelope and read the letter inside.

"Another apocalypse... Just when I thought I could sit down for five minutes." The mage, attracted by the prospect of tea (she hoped it would be Earl Grey or Peppermint, her favorites), stood up and stretched. She rolled up the book and shoved it into her Pockets of Near Infinite Holding. Then, since it seemed like the proper thing to do, she walked off to Ahrha's house.

Toastburner slowly opened the letter...very slow, and very carefully.

He wasn't sure who the last joker was that sent him a "letter"...but the giant fireball that followed made TB suspect PyrosNine...for some odd reason.

Well, that an the fact that the message on the letter...Toast had a few seconds to read it before the fireball hit, was: "I don't think I've killed you recently...so here you go! -Pyros"

So, now Toast had taken to opening his letters very carefully. Fortunately, this one was not a death trap...only an invatation to one.

"Oh, great...another get together." TB muttered. He almost wished it was another five bomb letter...at least he would of died and gotten it over with. Going on an adventure with the NPFers lead to death...much death.

"I never should of respawned after Krylo killed me during Christmas," TB thought to himself. "I would of saved myself all kinds of grief if I had just stayed dead in the first place."

Still, TB had no desire to see an acoplyse come to pass. True, he had never experienced one, but from what he heard, they were not pleasent. Picking up his leafblower, and adjusting his hockey mask, Toastburner, in classic Leafblower Maniac form, began walking to Arhra's place.

This was the universe. Expanding, pulsing with matter and space, mystical.

In the Universe, galaxies lived and died. Stars birthed and perished, brilliant and deadly in their throes of life and death. Surrounding them... rings of cold stony materials clumped together and orbited in irregular circles.

Galaxies aside, there were the solar systems. But we focus on one particular world - a system of nine planets circling the fiery plasma ball that is named the Sun.

See Earth, with its blue surface and pleasant - yet horrifically oxidising - atmosphere. A low temperature ensures that water stays in its liquid state.

See the small creatures move upon the dry, solid surfaces that jut out of the blue planet like blisters upon a serene face. Both large and small, they were oblivious to the creature that watched them soaring high above them - so high in the sky that she was but a speck of darkness against the blue horizon.

Rhiya was currently catching a warm updraught over the ocean - on her back. Her wings were reversed in form, and a small fin-like projection helped stabilize her reverse-flight. Her brown eyes were closed, wisps of her hair catching in the wind and whipping across her neck now and then.

There was a squawk of surprise, then a dull thunk as a gull struck the 'rudder' and spiralled in a puff of random loose feathers to a lower flight course.

Rhiya grinned wrecklessly - a devious smile that was abruptly halted when a wet piece of paper slapped across her face, disrupting her mild amusement.

Grabbing the offensive paper, Rhiya was just about to toss it away in disgust when the half-smeared words caught her eye:

"You are cordially invited to discuss the imminent apocalypse over afternoon tea. Bring weapons. Sincerely, Arhra."

"ooOOooh, Arhra's invited me for tea! I bet he-- I mean... she - has lots of random mooks I can disembowel."

With that, Rhiya flipped over in one elegant, tight turn and changed course for Arhra's domain.

Electricity. It's calm. Serene. Happy to merely travel through a course set before it. Following along a path of least resistance to fulfill the purposes of those that harness it.

Or so some believe anyway.

Electricity is actually a harsh and aggressive element, always searching for a way to break free from its set paths and jump around in its chaotic way, regardless of the injury others may recieve while its having its fun. When gathered in great amounts it's an awe inspiring event, the electricity tearing through the atmosphere, screaming out in its thunderous roar, allowing all in the vicinity to know of its presence, and daring all to come and face it.

The God of Thunder knew this trait, and embodied it as such.

His home was a celestial place in the clouds, always thundering, especially during times like these. When the God trained.

"~[WALL]~"

A giant wall of thick concrete formed in a flash of blue light, solidifying and becoming a part of existance from a mention of a mere word. Its existance was momentary as a powerful fist struck against it, carrying through and shattering the very form of the obstacle. It crumbled, a cloud of dust and fragments blew out as the fist pulled back, the knuckles bruised and bleeding.

"~[WALL]~"

Another wall formed, and another strike of the fist obliterated it. The Thunder God seemed serene enough. There was no ragged breath, no sweat on his brow. Breath was a luxury that he only partook of when it pleased him. His hair, however, was scattered about his head, his eyes pouring out electric energy as he focused on his work at hand. Due to the lack of any nearby power source with which to gather supplementary electricity from, his body was covered in bruises and cuts, his training having gone on for the past three days. Regardless, he continued to create thick stone walls to destroy. They were easy to create. A mere symbol floating from his lips could manifest the ability to alter reality as he saw fit. Of course, the new tattoo on his back limited his ability to use the ancient words much more than before. His father, the High Creator, saw it as a necessary restriction. However, creating mere walls was still quite easy, and it helped immensely for his training.

"~[Boulder Rain]~"

The rune floated up, materializing as several large boulders formed in the air above him, coming down at crushing speeds. He widened his stance, tensing his muscles and stabilizing himself. The giant rocks struck his body hard, fracturing as they were unable to break his stance or his focus. The broken shards scattered about, surrounding his body with large mounds of stone. When the rain finished, he was still standing, but his upper back was now filled with gashes and deep gruesome marks. He kept himself focused, blocking out the pain. As he prepared for another volley, a small portal opened near him. Out through the portal walked a small boy. He sported a striking resemblance to Raiden, but had long streaks of brown in his white hair, and his eyes were a normal red instead of sockets of energy. The boy looked up at his father with a smile, an envelope in his hands.

"Daddy! You got a letter!"

Raiden looked down, taking the letter from the boy's grasp. The glowing liquid that constituted as blood in the God drenched the envelope, but still left the letter clear enough to read.

"Huh...the world's going to end again? What is it...the third time this month?" Raiden tossed the letter behind him, then looking down again at his child.

"Hey, Rai Jr. Could you do Daddy a favor and heal him? I'd rather not go find a power source. You know how pissy California gets when I give them blackouts."

The boy nodded happily, reaching his tiny hands up to press against his father's tummy. A strange symbol, the exact same kind that Raiden was using moments before, left Raiden Jr.'s lips and floated up, pressing against Raiden's flesh. Instantly the light spread, regenerating the Thunder God's wounds and leaving him as fit as if nothing had happened. Raiden smiled down, patting his son on the head.

"That's a good boy. Now, go stay at Grandma and Grandpa's place until I get back. Alright?"

The boy gave another nod, and then wandered back through the portal, leaving to do as his father said. Raiden, on the other hand, went off to find his personal cloud to head over to the meeting place.

Tarrin stepped thru the veil that sepperated the planes, As he did so the spirit form he had been traveling in melted into the physical form he was more used to.

Streaching, Tarrin rose from his kneeling position on the floor, The astral jaunts he took always left him very hungry famished even.
As he entered the kitchen a note on the frige caught his eye.
"Don't remember putting that there" he said to himself as he reached for the lilac coloured paper.

Reading the letter Tarrins faec was awed to say the least, He hadn't been in the NPF for long and he was already beeing called in for help "Nice" Tarrin said as he grabed a towel, "Guess that takes care of twhat to eat" making his way to the shower Tarrin started singing an old metalica song.

"Out of the new days mist i run, Out of the new days mist here i come, I hunt, Therefore i am"

Syttulg read the letter, and commanded the nannites to alter the envelope. After turning it into a new envelope with the recipient and return adress switched, he put eight of the nannites in and ran out the door.

"Excuse me, I think you made a mistake. I sent this a week ago, and I just got it back." He handed it to the baffled mailman and went back inside.

He waited until his own letter got delivered, and then had the nannites burst open the envelope, then teleported over.

"So, where is this tea?"

There in his mansion was Premonitions, playing video games as always. He was so intent on the monumentous task(to him anyway) the he barely had the presence of mind to notice th envelope fly in through the open window. It landed neatly on top of his television. He grunted and asked the empty room "what the hell is that?" the empty room, apparently spoke "it's a letter, you've got mail, I guess" Premonitions leaned to the side and pointed out the window to the void that was his pocket dimension "Look out there, how the fuck do I get mail?" The voice, sucked it's teeth " You look out there and tell me how the fuck you exist" Premonitions paused his game, "damn, I guess you've got a point". he got up and ripped the letter open, "Hm... well, I guess I got to go, DON"T TOUCH MY DAMN GAME!" the voice sighed "Yeah, I'll be sure not to touch with my physical hands that are attached to my oh so real body"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few minutes later Premonitions was fully clothed and equipped and stepped into the teleporter. Flipping on his preferred locations file to option twelve, he instantly vanished from the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
black lightning struck, a thick green cloud of smoke materialized and out stepped premonitions He blasted down arhra's front door and held up the letter. "SO WHAT'S THIS SHIT ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD?"

Darth walked into his humble abode, calmly closed the door, then stood there and screamed. This lasted about four, five seconds. Then it abruptly stopped. There was no sign that he had just done so, at least not in his maneurism. Calmly, he took off his jacket, walked over to a chair, and placed it carefully on it. Then, he very systematically walked over to a closet, and opened it. Inside of it was a massive array of guns. And ammunition. And other essential tactical equipment.

Darth smiled a bit, then closed the closet, and went into the bathroom. He took a shower, and got changed, then came out feeling much better. A half hour before, a girlfriend had dumped him because his ghost arm was "creepy." She obviously did not appreciate the inherent coolness of having a stump, yet still having an arm. He wondered when his arm would be fixed...

There was a message on his omni-media center, a device that could change any message to any form. It turned his e-mail to voice, eerily making it sound like the sender. That wasn't on the list of features though, so Darth may need to check that. Anyways, he got Arhra's message.

He looked at his watch.

He was going to be late.

Forgetting that he could freeze time by grabbing chronitons, Darth sprinted over to his closet. He grabbed a vest, and tossed it on. Frantically, he also grabbed a katana, tossed it into the back of his vest, then grabbed some knives, strapping them on in various places. Guns. He needed guns. Lots of guns.

Indecision stopped him. Which to take? There were so many...and they were all so nice. Maybe the G36. Maybe the M4. Maybe the XM8. Darth glanced at the clock. Then he stuck his hand in and grabbed a weapon without looking. Of all things, he grabbed an unopened box.

Crap.

Frantically, he jammed ammo into his vest, and made a grab for some more. Out. Out? He was never out! The world was obviously headed for the apocalypse. Bouncing up and down like he had to pee, he grabbed a speed loader and a box of bullets. Very quickly, he loaded it, and stuck it in his vest. Then he grabbed the unopened box of gun, and sprinted out of his house.

There was a ringing on his phone right after he left. It was his dad phoning to tell him that, when he'd borrowed the watch recently, he changed the time zones and the watch was an hour fast.

A helicopter hummed high in the sky, its reporters surveying the boring traffic scenes below.

"...on Hitch's Highway, big jam, so be careful when you're heading to the city today," the reported droned, bored. The pilot veered gently towards the coastal highways and streets. Down there, the mansion that was Arhra's abode was sprawled lazily in the middle of a wide, grassy garden.

There, another helicopter had just 'dropped' off a passenger, and there was a bit of a storm brewing off the shore - where Arhra's home was closely situated. The Australian-Gold-Coast like strip of coast glittered and danced as light reflected off the blue ocean.

If the traffic reporters bothered to go any closer, they would see strange happenings. However, they passed a seemingly invisible boundary, and suddenly Arhra's home was obscured from view. Vanished, maybe, but the human mind was too pitiful to believe the unbelievable. What they saw from beginning to end was trees.

They of course did not see the speck of black in the horizon grow bigger by the second.

They of course did not see the shape fold two massive, great webbed wings tightly across her body.

They did not see the collision, but they DID hear this:

"<wh>eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE!!!"

To them, it was a jet plane that hurtled past them at mach2 speed, heading in a straight, diagonal path downwards towards the patch of trees. The sound wave hit them like a solid thing, and the pilot lost control of the helicopter. The aerial vehicle spun out of the air, its occupants screaming into their mics.

~~

Arhra had but a moment's notice (thankfully, she had turned on the radio in case anything else was reported about the relevant plot) to realise part of her home was about to become broken plaster boards, rubble, and bits of mangled cables.

~~

"HIT THE GODDAMN BRAKES, RHIYA!!!!" A masculine, electrifying voice screamed from behind the chaos-diamond fans of the dragon's head. With a grunt of assention, Rhiya's wings snapped out, but it was too late.

"I should've NEVER been coaxed into this!" a second voice - distinctly feminine and ethereal - shrieked.

"I would advise you tuck youself low. It's going to be a... bumpy lan--" The dragon didn't finish her sentence before she hit planetside, four feet striking deep gouges into the earth.

The massive wings folded back like a protective umbrella over her passengers as Rhiya's chaos-diamond body ploughed forward, friction unable to overcome the large part of her gathered momentum.

"We're getting too close!" the male voice yelled again. The dragon half-closed her eyes, looking as if she was actually enjoying a ride that was ripping up half the countryside, leaving behind half a mile of upturned earth, ashphalt, street lights, and a few surprised suburbs.

"Hey! That's Arhra's mansion up ahead! Slow down, damnit!"

"She won't mind. Besides, I'd still have to pay for the damages later even if I didn't do this," came the amiable reply.

A few seconds later, ten tonnes of dragon ploughed into, through, and out the other end of Arhra's precious mansion, obliterating one of its wings completely. The rooms demolished included three toilets, two bathrooms (spas included), a kitchen, one and a half loungerooms (the other half looks a mess now anyways), a Games' room and a swimming pool. Miraculously, the tea-room was in the other wing, and survived utter destruction.

Just before Rhiya hit the wall of trees behind Arhra's mansion, her legs bunched and kicked out. Wings spread out, and Rhiya did a perfect wing-over, a cloud of debris trailing behind her draconic body, and landed softly in Arhra's backyard, scoring deep gouges into the perfect lawn with her large claws.

"... Oops. Time to get off now," there was definitely a wicked smile in Rhiya's voice as she got down carefully for her passengers to get off.

Mesia hopped off of the diamond dragon as soon as fucking possible, keeling over to the side as if she were about to hurl.

"Rhiya...I'd eat your soul if I could keep what's already in my stomach down..." she groaned, sending over a disgruntled look at the dragon.

"Wait a second! I don't have a stomach! Alright, I'm good. Soooooooooooooo, what'do we do now?"

There was motion under the rubble. Garud crawled out, even worse than before. He looked as if he had been through hell and back. Thing is, he had. But he also looked like a building fell on him.

"WHY DO THE GODS HATE ME? WHY? Well, at least Thorque is dead. Finally."

More rubble shifted and Thorque emerged unscathed.

"That tickled."

"Why won't you die?"

"I love you brother."

"Shut up and help me get this enormous plank of wood out of my back."

Garud stood shakily and saw that the plank, protruing from his chest, went right through his body, and was at least as thick as his rib cage.

"Would you look at that."

The demon slayer collapsed. Thorque moved over and jerked the peice of wood right out of his brother. Thorque then helped Garud to his feet.

"I am still blaming you for this."

"Did you know Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door?"

"I'm leaving."

Garud stumbled away from his brother, and approached Rhiya and the others.

"What the hell are you guys doing? Trying to kill me or something?"

Rhiya's draconic body vibrated slightly and shrank gradually to horse-sized. She gave a fanged grin.

"We wait for tea and more destruction... possibly a tantrum," she replied to Mesia. Turning to the growling Garud, she snickered even more loudly.

"Don't feel so important, mate. You're just one casualty out of a hundred," she stretched a forepaw out, pointing to the way she just came through. Garud turned and noticed the mile-long furrow of earth, telephone lines, roads and rubble behind her.

A great silver wolf twice the size of one found in the wild loped into the clearing, Looking at the other NPFers the wolf changed form.

Seconds later Tarrin stood in it's place his attention fixed on the furrow that had appeared in the earth. "Hmm o..kay how di..."Tarrin stopped, After all did he really want to know, He doubted it.

Looking back at the others he smiled "So i heard there was going to be cake".

Syttulg looked at the destruction and decided to use it as a distraction. He sat down next to an electrical outlet, stuck his fingers in the sockets, and began filling his batteries.

"So, is this the threat we have to take care of? A virus that causes people to teamkill?"

"CRASH! BANG! BOOM! SMASH! EEK!" Fenris heard as Rhiya flew in and demolished the building. He walked through the mansion (or rather, what was left of it) and encountered GARUD, Mesia, Raiden, and Rhiya.

Fenris turned around, surveyed the damage, turned back, and said,

"I'm dissapointed, Rhiya. You easily could have destroyed the other half of the loungeroom. And that tree back there? Yeah, that shouldn't be there. But aside from that," Fenris cocked his head and grinned, "It's nice to see you again."

"I don't feel special. Right now, I feel pain. Geeze, I had catch up on my demon slaying quota ever since Raiden went berserk. I'm tired, and injured and- HURK... I think I just lost my spleen."

Garud noticed Fenris and said,

"How's my favourite hobo? Still living off the red cross?"

"Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands! They are now called The Islands."

"Thorque, be quiet over there."

It was then someone raised a salient point, "Won't Arhra be upset to find her house has been partially demolished?" This someone might remain forever unknown, though they must be applauded for helping the narrative of the following series of events to unfold.

Mesden was in the unfortunate position of being the one to venture something optimistic. "She can't possibly be that angry about some damage can she? Especially when there's some kind of impending apocalypse." Unlike the someone of before, Mesden was clearly identified, possibly at random.

It was then they saw Premonitions running like the hounds of hell were after him. Instead, it was merely Arhra in a screaming fury, waving a rather large axe around and shouting, "Blast down my door will you?!" The hounds were probably preferable. They were less inventive.

It was then Arhra spotted Rhiya, her eyes briefly sweeping back to her house and locking onto the chaos diamond dragon. You could practically see the thoughts tumbling over and linking Rhiya to the damage. If looks could kill, Arhra's mad red stare would probably be universally regarded as a doomsday device.

A few moments later, everyone who had been near Rhiya had vanished behind a rather substantial wall that inexplicably stood in the middle of the garden. Discretion is the better part of valour after all. Arhra clumsily wielding a certain horse-sized dragon as a club to try and flatten Premonitions had been more than enough to convince them of that. They reasoned they ought to be relatively protected there and could just wait until Arhra was done with Premonitons and Rhiya. The main drawback was the wall didn't block out the sounds.

Checking on if things were over, the wall lurkers peered cautiously around the edge. It was at that exact moment a high velocity dragon slammed into the wall like a spiky wrecking ball. A few confused moments of complicated destruction and no-one knowing what the hell was going on later, everything went quiet.

Arhra sauntered over to the sprawled NPF'ers, looking vaguely pleased with herself. "Hullo everyone! Good to have you here! How have you been?" Arhra spared approximately half a second for replies and then plunged on, "Well, no time to be lying around all day. I don't think everyone's here yet but we should make a start. Come inside and we can have some of that tea." she finished and turned around, beginning the walk back to her house. She paused, as if thinking of something, "It might help liven some of you up. You must be feeling a little drained." Alas, the pun gods didn't strike her down on the spot as she chuckled and resumed her walk.

"Here, let me give you a hand Garud." I said, as I used Cure-2 on him. "Good thing SOMEONE here knows curitive magic...." I said as it went down. Then leaning in close I whispered "You know, I have an elven friend of mine who's an assassion....I could ask her to do a favor for you..."

After the events Arhra posted but I'm to lazy to describe again from my own POV, I looked at Arhra, and said "No tea for me, thanks. I'll just have some water."

"Nope. It seems that the Red Cross doesn't have a customer loyalty reward." Fenris grinned some more, and watched Arhra try to flatten Premonitions with Rhiya.

"Yes, let's!" Fenris said, and he hastily followed Arhra to wherever she was headed, eager for the eateries.

"Hey guys, wh-" Was all Steel got out before finding himself under a pile of rubble that had been untill very recently a part of Arhras mansion. He managed to dig himself out just in time to witness the mass clobbering, and get hit by a very hard chaos dragon. After his head stopped spinning, he managed to drag himself up and follow the others, wondering if tea included scones and biscuits.

Most people had made grand posts about their grand entrances and how grand a time they had.

Ecurt decided to skip all that by simply opening the front door of Arhra's home, walking in, taking a seat for himself, and graciously accepting the cup of tea that Yuri had offered him. No explosions or any sort of destruction involved.

And then the others entered.

"Hey Ecurt." I said, nodding as I decide to get my dragon-head helmet off, running a hand through my hair to hide any helmet-hair that I might have.

"Sorry I'm late...ah," Toastburner said as he came upon the scence, "I see the team-killing has started without me," he added, looking at the wreckage of Rhiya and Premonitions. "Does this mean I'm not the designated target this time around?"

There was a screeching, then a panting Darth sprinted in, frantically tearing the shrinkwrap off of a box. His hair was damp and everything. His shirt was also only half on, and his shoes were on the wrong feet.

"Sorry-*gasp*-I'm-*gasp*-late!"

The shrink wrap finally came off, but the contents fell out onto the ground. There was a tiny shriek as he dropped down and grabbed the gun, the silencer, and the magazine. He didn't bother with the owner's manual though. Reading manuals was for sissies.

And Darth was no sissy.

With is precisely how he managed to snap the slide shut onto his finger, eliciting a yelp of pain. He opened it, looked around, then screwed the supressor on and loaded it. Calmly, he holstered it, then stood there, striking a Superman pose.

"Darth is ready...for action."

Tarrin, Once he had cleaned all the rubble off him, Limped into the remains of the house.

looking around at the suroundings he let out a sigh "Arhra will never give us cake now".

"Oh," came a disappointed voice from behind them. Mauve looked sadly at all the destruction around them. "It appears the apocalypse has begun without me?" Her eyes darted from Ahrha to Rhiya, noting the dragon-shaped marks on the ground.

"Ah, silly me. Team damage. Nevermind, then. I suppose that means I still have time for a spot of tea, hmm?" She stepped gingerly around the destruction and Darth's Superman pose, and sat down in a chair, laying a napkin on her lap and taking the teacup Yuri had placed in front of her. She stirred it delicately and took a dainty sip.

"So what's up, Ahrha?" she asked the woman. "Who got kidnapped this time?"

Without much of an expression, Ecurt waved back at Flarecobra before motioning towards the chair around the table. "I hope you all won't have a problem finding a seat. I'm not sure Arhra can afford to make all the repairs to her house at the rate you all destroy things.

"And Mauve...I'm shocked. I was sure that as the Horsewoman of the Apocalypse you of all people would know that the Apocalypse doesn't start with a kidnapping. It starts with the media."

To prove his point, Ecurt pointed to the television, which had been left on since this morning, still at the same channel as before. "I figure it has something to do with the same comet they've been talking about all day. I mean...it has rainbow colored glow around it. That's never a good sign."

Mauve pondered this for a moment. Then, camly, she put the teacup down on the table and rose to her feet. Her eyes narrowed and flashed red. With an electrical fizz, the room was plunged into darkness.

"YOU FOOL!" the mage boomed, somehow illuminated despite the aforementioned plunge into darkness. "I AM THE MEDIA!!" She held her hands above her head, and a glowing copy of The Associated Press Stylebook materialized in her palms, marked in the corner with her name penned in what looked like blood.

The room returned to its natural light and the mage sat back down.

"Okay, well, not really," she said. "But it sounded good." Acting as though nothing had just happened, she took another sip from her tea.

Syttulg strolled over to the rubble and picked up a few likely looking pieces. He carried them over to the outlet and a few moments work by the nannites turned the rubble into an extension cord. Some more rubble turned into an exceedingly comfy chair, and while he was gathering the extension cord to drag it over, Skyshot took it.

Syttulg shrugged, stuck his fingers in the socket of the extension cord, and put his hand on the offending party's shoulder, then allowed the current to flow through and zap the thief.

Fenris watched the fight between Syttulg and Skyshot bemusedly, and sipped his tea. His attention shifted to Mauve, and decided to get himself involved in some small talk.

"So, Mauve, long time no see. What's up?"

"Thank you. At least someone here is helpful."

Garud reared his head up blushing before the realisation dawned on him...

"Oh, you meant... no, I've tried to kill him many times. It seems the old adage is true. No brain, no pain."

Garud looked around sheepishly.

"I feel really stupid now."

Arhra sipped her tea as she looked at the motley bunch. Newb and Skyshot seemed to be fighting over the second most comfortable chair in the room, Fenris was busy stuffing his face with the delicious eatables, Rhiya and Premonitions had dared to damage her precious house and the others, well they hadn't done anything particulaly stupid... yet. She was certain it was only a matter of time though.

Was this really the best the forces of heroism and stop-world-endingness had to offer? Well, better with her than against her Arhra supposed. Or, to use the more colourful proverb, better to have them inside pissing out than outside pissing in.

As everyone nibbled and sipped, Arhra spoke, "Ecurt is right. For a start, there's one little fact that they've neglected to mention baout the comet." Arhra paused for dramatic effect, "It's headed straight for us."

As everyone seemed to start shouting at once, some already beginning to suggest nonsensical plans like trying to blow it up with a rocket propelled giant materia, Arhra yelled over the top. "No, the comet won't be that kind of cataclysm from the skies!"

In a quieter tone she continued, "It's not actually a comet at all." At this point Yuri entered with a series of large flash cards and a stand for them. The first showed a sketch of the comet. "You've probably heard how the scientists haven't been able to get any reasonable data about it. That is because the very stuff it is made of is unreasonable. It is called the Invisible Moon."

Seeing she had everyone's attention, Arhra went on, "The significance of the Invisible Moon lies in what it foretells." Yuri moved the first picture to the back, showing a crude sketch of an looming, dramatically lit, armoured figure, explosions and general destruction all around it, somehow indicating it is probably responsible for them and tiny people running away from it. The tiny people had a helpful little arrow pointing to them labelling them 'You'.

Arhra let the picture sink in, "The End Times, when Chaos comes to reclaim the ordered universe that has been denied it for so long. I won't name names," Yuri briefly flashed a card with a sketch of Raiden on it , "but recent events have caused the dark powers of Chaos," Yuri switched over to a crude sketch that was mostly indescribable, "to bestow the mark of their favour, the Heart of Chaos," Next was a sketch of a gem set in an amulet that bore a vague resemblance to an opal, "upon their favoured champion, the Herald of the End Times." Yuri pulled the second flash card back out and then, after a moment's thought, pointed to the big central figure to clear up any potential confusion.

"Although granted the Heart of Chaos," Yuri flicked back to the gem, "The Herald," apocalyptic scene, "will not achieve its full potential until the Chaos Gate opens." Yuri rummaged around and found a sketch of an aerial view of a stony plateau, the ground carved into strange, not quite patterns and pitted with holes. "However, it will open upon the conjunction of the Invisible Moon." The magical girl put the comet picture back in front.

Arhra paused for breath and sipped her tea, "Now, to stop this ever coming to pass, the forces of Law," Yuri changed to a sketch of some important looking guy in a funny hat saying "blah blah blah", "constructed a series of seals around the Chaos Gate," A new picture came up, looking very similiar to the earlier aerial view, save that there was some sort of ring about the Gate and the ground it enclosed seemed strangely blurred.

"Unfortunately, I don't have any flashcards for this bit as there wasn't really anything interesting to draw." Arhra said apologetically, "They placed five elemental seals - fire, water, wind, earth and shadow about the Gate," Yuri went to change back to the old picture but Arhra waved at her to stop, "which would help seal it off from the rest of the world. These five seals also help support the Seventh Seal, the Seal of Time. It phases the entire Gate a half second into the future, making it even harder to access."

Seeing a few puzzled frowns begin to form, Arhra quickly interjected, "Yes, I know it doesn't add up. Apparently there was to be a Seal of Light but their budget ran out and they already had all their documentation refering to the Seal of Time as the Seventh Seal."

"Now here's the bad news. Over time, Chaos has entered the seals. They're rife with corruption - it's only a matter of time until they fail. A few weeks at best. If they were working properly, the conjunction wouldn't be happening. The Herald," apocalypse sketch, "waits before the Gate even now."

"At the moment of conjunction, the seals will dissolve fully and the Gate will open, empowering the Herald and permitting the numberless legions of Chaos entry. The universe will be devoured in an ecstatic holocaust."

Arhra had finally reached the end of the doom-laden-ness and got to the plan, "However... if we destroy the seals ourselves, before the conjunction occurs, the Gate will not be open and the Herald will be considerably weaker. All we'd have to do then is enter the Gate and defeat the Herald." Arhra clapped her hands together, "No Herald means no End Times."

"Now, heading off what is likely to be one of your first questions, one good reason for why you want to come along and help is that saving the universe invariably includes whatever you're standing on. Another good reason is I won't give you the antidote for what I put in the tea and buffet if you don't." Arhra smiled winsomely, "Any other questions?"

"Glad I didn't eat or drink anything." I said. "And just how do you plan on actually killing this Harold?"

"Speaking of team kill, that reminds me. Thorque... Guess what? Toastburner is your friend."

"FRIEND?"

Toastburner didn't know what hit him as Thorque got him in a bone crushing, organ squashing bear hug. When he was done, Garud looked at the damage and said,

"I don't know if this counts as team kill. Thorque is technically not part of the team."

Steel paused, looking at the cookie he'd gotten half way through. Then at the trail of crumbs, the last remains of a once great cookie civilization. Then back at his cookie. There was silence for a moment. Well, you know, as silent as it can be with people yelling questions and various curses at Arhra.

"But I like cookies..." He muttered. Then he shrugged. "Ok then. What seal we going after first, and where is it? And do we need to get all of them, or just one?

So while practically EVERYBODY ELSE (bar Steel) didn't ACTUALLY eat the delicious foodstuffs on the table, nor drank the steaming cups of tea, Rhiya had resumed her humanoid form and was busy washing two muffins down with a cuppa when Arhra finished with that twisted bit of information.

Needless to say, Premonitions wasn't happy when hot tea spurted from the nostrils of a pretty woman into his lap.

"Hey! I'd gladly go on an adventure of mass killing and destruction. You needn't threaten me," she said reproachfully as she tried to fix Premonition's pants, even though the damage was done.

"Besides, where is this place anyway? Nothing beats transport by dragon... albeit one that tends to eat her own teammates," she added quietly with a soft snigger.

Fenris tried to be mad at Arhra for posioning him. Really, he did. But he just couldn't bring himself to it and he chuckled a bit.

"So, basically, you're blackmailing us into saving our lives? 'Cause that's what it sounds like to me," Fenris said with a laugh. He instantly grew serious afterward.

"How long have you known about this? And more importantly, does this Herald know about us?" After asking that, Fenris looked back at his tea. Sure, it was poisoned, but he had already drank from it, and he was doing okay so far, so he took another sip, and waited while Arhra forumalted her response.

I chuckled. "Well, I COULD just case Esuna.....but the look on your faces is priceless." I said with a smile. "And Rhiya, if you don't mind, I won't need to ride on you. I've got wings of my own to use."

"Feh, I have no uses for Antidotes. Besides, if Arhra permanently kills me off in the worst way possible, there's no way he's going to use me to pay off the massive damages bill. Oh, and the 'riding' joke? It's been used and abused so many times, even Krylo wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole," Rhiya dismissed such facts with a wave of her hand. She took another sip from her tea and shot a look at Arhra before shamelessly grabbing another creamy cake off the table and setting to.

"Besides," she managed through a polite spray of crumbs, "I'd be glad to taste you... I MEAN... give you a lift."

[OOC: wooh! Innuendo!]

"I'd offer to carry someone, but sadly, I wouldn't be able to." I said.

Premonitions struggled up from the pile of rubble that had been dropped on him after the rather large dragon. Inexplicably, he had'nt been damaged at all,even his hair seemed to be neatly in shape. He fussed with his cape and strolled calmly over to the table in time to hear..
he pulled out two carbines and blasted the table to beautiflly painted shards of wood and screamed "YOU POISONED US?" it was at this point that he realuized that he had'nt drank or eaten anything "Ohh, you just poisoned them. Well nevermind then" he calmly sat down and flinged the large plasma weapon over his shoulder. "So, what's this about the Silver Surfer?"

From within the now calm confines of Arhra's front yard, there was an odd shifting of dirt within the massive gouge in the face of the once picturesque arbor. A wretched, sharp hand suddenly burst forth from the soft dirt below and clawed at the air. One could have almost heard the melodromatic, suspensful chords of a horror movie.

And then, silence.

And there were the chords again.

More silence.

More music.

The hand bent at it's elbow and blindly patted at the dirt, eventually rifling into it and pulling out the cellphone that was making these sounds. Dirt seemed to explode outward as the torso of KP sat up with an absurdly abrupt motion. As the cellphone entered its fourth surge of melodramatic music, KP flipped the top open and held it to his ear, starting out with the only greeting he could muster.

"I'm hurt..."

KP was silent for a moment responding correctively, "No, actually, I haven'-..." He listened further. "Good? ...oh, uh, okay, I wo-..." More listening. "Oh? Okay..." Even more. "Right, I will..." Geez, does this guy talk a lot.

Finally, he got to conclude, "Of course not, I'm not stupid, this is Arhra, after all." With that, he flipped the phone shut and pocketed it. Standing up, KP shook the dirt from him as a dog would water and jogged towards the house.

Ecurt's stare switched alternatively between the empty cup in his hands and Arhra. There was something off, he knew, because as a member of the NPF, there was no way this would be a simple poison. No, obviously this could only be one thing-"A plot device, Arhra? Now that's just plain evil."

Setting his cup down, he stood up and walked into the center of the room. "Of course, it makes sense to combat evil with evil. However, there is a power much greater than that-the power of...love."

Reaching behind his back, he suddenly pulled out a series of sailor fuku-one for each member of the group gathered (aside from himself of course). "And of course, if we're going to be stopping the Invisible Moon, then as the resident blonde Mauve has to cosplay as none other than Sailor Moon!"

Needless to say, there was a minute of silence, with Ecurt standing there like an idiot.

The fukus suddonly lit on fire. "Sorry, but I don't think so." I said, giving him a cold, steely look.

Tarrin looked up from the cake he was eating, A look of disbelief on hi face.

"The tea and cookies i can understand but the cake......i mean it's cake, Awww nuts".

Well looked like he had no choice but to help, Not that he wouldn't have in the first place but now he had no choice.

Darth stood there dumbfounded. Then he checked his watch. They'd been together all of five minutes and they had started teamkilling. There had already been massive property damage, and the end of the world had been once again foretold. Darth missed the days of Librarium Online. They'd never had this crap there.

"Okay, so, destroy the seals and kill the Herald. Got it. Just a question though...how, exactly, are we planning to destroy the seals? I would like to avoid that moment where someone forgot the duct tape and the plan falls apart."

Syttulg sat down in his chair, looked around, and realized that his extension cord was gone. He nearly blasted Skyshot right there, but he instead began breathing deeply counting slowly inside his head. He would have a chance soon enough to do something nasty to the vile cretin, and it might not even take as much energy as that required to bring the contents of Skyshot's bladder to a boil.

At the news about the poison, Syttulg sent two nannites to start cleaning the poison out of his system. He really didn't understand this Arhra person. Wouldn't they have realized that in a group this large, there would be people who could get rid of such things?

"If we've got somebody who can teleport themselves and is willing to act as an energy source, as well as a place to get raw materials, then we could work together to get everybody wherever."

((<< >> I totally did not almost have a typo in Skyshot's name.))

Approximately this moment, a PhoenixCorp™ telescreen lurking in the corner of Arhra's ceiling recieved a very important communuique' from a very important member of this very important project. It popped out of the air conditioning duct and hung suspended in midair by a small cable, showing only static.

"Are you getting this?" The sound of tapping on glass accompanied the distinctly feminine and distinctly british voice that filtered through the comm-static. "Good, and um, sorry I'm late Arhra!" She continued.

Soon, the picture cleared, giving way to a much paler, much darker-haired PhoenixFlame aboard the bridge of her flagship, the ECS Isparlain. Several communications officers were fiddling with a gutted long-range Hyperpulse Generator (HPG™) control panel, the primary communications device aboard the battlecruiser.

"I'd be there in person, but I had to check out the giant comet flying directly toward our planet. Unfortunately, any scans we make of the object come back scrambled, but you already knew that. After all, I've been monitoring your conversation and am immediately ordering we come about and return to port." Phoenix explained. Several techs in the background flinched as the HPG™ terminal sparked, and PhoenixFlame's image appeared upside down and backwards. She continued as if nothing happened.

"yletanutrof, ev'ew deganam..." And apparrently, the comm-track was trasmitted backwards aswell. Soon, the feed cut off entirely.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"to... Are you listening to me?" Phoenix yelled, frustrated, at the blank "Transmit" panel. "Damn it all! Interferance from the comet is right hellish... Helmsman! Get us back home as soon as possible."

And so, Phoenix and her ship quickly made their way to Arhra's tea party of hell.

((OOC: Seven pages before I died...this must be a record. Dice roll makes my new form...dragon

There was a knock at the door a few seconds before it opened. A rather annoyed looking dragon walked in the room, glaring at Garud. "Was that really necessary?" Dragon TB said to Garud. "I mean, the Leafblower Maniac was actually a good starting form for once. And do you realize how much that hurt?! I mean, I got to feel each and every one of those organs rupture before I died. Also, I would suggest you refain from trying that again. If I had been paying attention, I probably could of at least matched that little attack." TB ended his complaint with a snort, throwing a tiny ball of fire in the other NPFer's direction.

"Right...did we discuss anything important between when I died and now?"

It's sloppy writing, but I need to put something in...
 

Pyros watched, as he said. The inhabitants of this world were as strange as any, each with their own quirks and unique powers, and they were all driven to this place by fate....and the promise of tea and cookies.

Sadly, this Arhra person deemed fit to place poison within it, and attempted to coerce the others into action. While it didn't work, it did show a subtlety and trickery that reminded Pyros of someone else, long ago from his past.

Nevertheless those there kept eating the cookies and sipping the tea, and went on as usual, intending to stop this comet anyway. Such chaos.... Pyros doubted any of the warriors of his own world would act in such a way in the face of such a threat....well, most of them.

PYros continued thinking to himself, and keeping his silent watch of the NPF forumites from behind the window.

Mauve had just opened her mouth to reply to Fenris when Ahrha mentioned the poison. She snapped her mouth shut and stared down into the teacup, sloshing its remnants around for a moment.

"You know, I thought it tasted kinda funny," she said, eyeing it critically. "Didn't want to say anything though; I tried to be polite--"

At that precise moment, Mauve noticed Ecurt and Flarecobra with the sailor fukus. Mauve's eyes narrowed once more.

"Hold on a sec." In the mage's mind, things slid into place very quickly. The one thing she had forgotten to resolve during the last adventure came to the front of her mind like a neon sign. The fuku incident...

"YOU!!!!" Mauve hurled the teacup at Ecurt. "SO IT WAS YOU!!!" Barring her teeth, the mage held up a fist. BAMF!! It burst into flames at her command.

"YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!!"

Raiden sat drinking his tea. Of course, he had moved it from the dainty teacup into a mug, since his hands were too powerful to hold such a fragile thing without breaking it. After hearing about the poison, Raiden looked up at Arhra.

"Huh...so THIS is why you wanted us able to die. Thank god for loopholes." Raiden thought about the many ways his son could cure him, or have his father do a Creation Cleansing. But, he'd save that for later. He drank more of the tea.

"Quick question though. Why are we planning? Normally we stop and plan and strategy and get tactics...but it all devolves into a massive bout of team killing, destruction, and basic property damage. So, let's just split up to the gates, and do what we do best. Break shit up."

Raiden looked over at Rhiya.

"Don't worry Dragongirl. You can be my ride."

Things were bursting into flames at a fast rate, but as one of Nein's employees he was used to things suddenly turning into fire. So, when he noticed that the fukus were burning, he instantly doused the fire. Then, after examining the damage (it looked okay, except that the skirts were significantly shorter, while the tops had gaps that would reveal patches of skin while worn), he turned to the one who had started the fire. "Now, now, Flare. I never said one was for you. After all, I couldn't get your measurements, as you never stay in one shape for too long, and I don't know how you're supposed to measure a slime girl anyway."

That was when the teacup hit him. Rubbing the sore spot now on the back of his head, Ecurt glared at Mauve for a moment before smiling evilly. "Oh," he started, in a voice that was entirely too sweet. "I'm sorry. Don't think I've forgotten about you..."

In an instant, the traditional (if not a little burnt) Sailor Moon costume disappeared from the pile of fuku and into Ecurt's hand. Then, before anybody knew that the Magical Girl transformation scene had been skipped, Mauve's clothes were in his hands, while the fuku was now upon the mage-or, at least Ecurt thought that was the case (he wasn't really paying attention if the technique had worked or not).

Resisting the urge to laugh, Ecurt took the oppourtunity to run. Jumping out the window, Ecurt was sure he was scot free, when he crashed into none other than Pyros. What happened next he would be unable to describe later on, but somehow in the process of crashing into him the clothing in his hands exploded, and Ecurt soon found himself in a smoldering crater alongside the dimensional traveller, with stars spinning over his head.

The fire on Mauve's fist turned suddenly into pink flowery flames (however that worked out). She blinked, noting that her hair was now in pigtails.

"Well, this was somewhat unexpected," she said. "Okay, we'll adapt." She reached for her knives, but they were gone. Instead she found herself holding a staff with a big-eyed bird head on top and a fistful of cards imprinted with animals. A giggling fluffy animal of some sort with tiny yellow wings fluttered around her head.

"Fine, Fine," she said. "I think I can work with this." She put a fist at her hips and spread two fingers out in a peace sign, holding them near her face. She gave an anime girl grin.

"Ecurt-kun... I will defeat you... WITH THE POWER OF ULTRA-CUTE VIOLENCE!!" She leapt out the window that Ecurt had used as an escape.

The NPFers inside heard the sounds of battle, mixed with the occasional musical number or shouts of some stupid anime girl attack or another. Then, there was silence.

"Please don't do that again. It won't end well for you," Mauve's calm voice came through the window.

Mauve walked back in with her mage's outfit tucked under her arm, ignoring the others, and found the ladies' room. She emerged shortly thereafter in her normal attire.

Ecurt was presumably still on the ground, trying to remove the handful of cards and small winged talking sidekick animal that had somehow been lodged in his trachea.

As Ecurt choked, his body involuntarily twitched. He didn't die, of course, as that would have been too, too kind to him, and with a little excrutiatingly painful help from the animal sidekick, both cards and said sidekick were freed from his body.

Still not getting up off the ground, Ecurt opened his eyes and sighed. "Yes," he said, answering that unspoken question. "Yes, it was."

She stood, kind of just...watching shit as it happened. I mean...seriously...

"You people are fucking batshit-loco, aren't you? And sure. Coming along, if not for the fact I might need to stop you people from feasting on each others entrails just because it's convenient."

An odd, nearly accusing look was shot over to Rhiya.

The effort made by Rhiya to not expose a devilish grin only served to turn Rhiya's face into a scrunched up, ineffective scowl.

"It's not my fault I get these urges to nibble now and then. As a dragon, I have a fast metabolism. Everything I eat is practically burned up by my rampages - which I must also let you know are involuntary... like eye-twitches when somebody's about to throw shit at the fan."

Tarrins' thoughts went to the anime change scene and the fact that people always looked anatomicaly like a ken doll, Snaping out of that train of thought he watched to others try and kill each other.

Well atleast he'd kept out of trouble....for now.

"And I thought I was insane." I said with a nod. "Though Mauve, where's that wand.....wait...you didn't.........."

OOC: Hmm, it seems someone doesn't learn from experience.

Arhra began casually walking along the side of the table Premonitions had wrecked and engaged in further exposition, "The Herald," Arhra shot a meaningful look at Flare, "is, as I have said, the chosen instrument of the Ruinous Powers' will. Order's Bane, the Knight of the Many Rayed Star, Favoured Champion of Chaos, you get the picture. In addition to the various titles, they have had other gifts bestowed upon them - blessings, magical powers and artifacts of Chaos."

"However, since the Herald will not have attained their full potential before the Gate opens, the plan is we get through the seals and stop the Herald with violence. Unfortunately, the Herald will know we're taking action the moment the first seal falls, if they don't know already."

Everyone winced, not because of the thought of the Herald planning for them, but at the sight of Arhra pausing in front of Premonitions and hitting him somewhere that looked quite painful. "As to the first part of your question Fenris," Arhra continued calmly, kicking a prone Premonitions as she did, "I have known the prophecy for some time but did not know it would come so soon."

"The magical nexuses that make up the seals (which, incidently, are the other kind of seal Skyshot) are each incorporated into an elemental construct, like a sort of golem." At Arhra's gesture, Yuri dimmed the lights and switched on a projector. One had to wonder why she hadn't just used it in the first place. Seeing what she was doing with that broken table leg to the current object of her tender mercies, everyone was a little afraid to ask.

What appeared to be five beautiful women, if women were made out of stuff like metal, fire, water, clouds, plants and stone instead of flesh and bone and stuff, appeared on the screen. Despite the difference in their compositions, they bore a distinct resemblance to one another. "These are the seal guardians." Arhra said, setting the table leg aside for now, "The seal is incorporated directly into their chests. They are called Caryatids, which is apparently a clever play on words as a caryatid is a column carved in the shape of a female form and these act to support the seals." Arhra didn't look too impressed by this last fact.

"Destroying them will destroy the seal they carry." Arhra's tone rushed over the next part, "There is a slight complication that it will release all the pent up force it was suppressing when that happens but I should be able to contain the blast." To distract everyone from that last comment, she added, "I'm not sure how many we'll have to destroy - its possible that the remaining seals will collapse on their own if the system becomes unstable enough."

"Oh, while I think of it, no need to bother with Esunas and such at this point. It's not like they'd be of any help." Arhra's smile was horribly knowing.

"Where was I?" Arhra even paused her beating as she tried to recapture her train of thought, "Ah right, the Gate. Conveniently enough, its within a few hours of here. I was thinking we should break the Seal of Earth first as it's the closest." Arhra dropped a bill for a new table and door on a battered Premonitions and walked towards the door, "Well, if that's everything taken care of, let's get going shall we?"

"Hmmm....Perhaps we can have as a distraction attack a couple of other seals using golems of ourselves or something like that. That way they'll be confused, not sure which is the real threat until it's too late. Of course the golems'll fall, but hopefully they can deal some damage to the forces of Chaos before they do." I said, looking at Arhra.

"That's all well and good," Fenris said, "But, you still haven't completely answered my question. Does this Herald know about us?"

"Well, if that's everything taken care of, let's get going shall we?"

"Well." said the familiar... new voice of Phoenixflame, now seated in the dark corner of the room, having apparrently snuck in during the projector exposition and quietly remaining there quoth, "Why don't we just nuke it from orbit? After all, it's the only way to be sure."

The vampire twiddled her fingers silently as she attained the glares of several people, some wondering how she'd appeared (Which happened to involve the Isparlain's long-range HPG array and it's teleporter systems miraculously working correctly at a dramatic moment) or why she'd given such a ridiculous solution, or simply why she was late... She simply slunk back in the corner and meekly added, "Well, I'm all for violence, but it would work, wouldn't it?"

"I don' see why he should," TB said, "For the most part, people who get the unique experience of coming across us tend to end up rather dead. Heck, back during Christmas, I has a hired bodyguard, but the insane elf guy didn't know about the rest of the NPF...Willy the Silly didn't know about us, even after he took the Greek Water God's power...I don't see why some random bringer of death of destruction should know about us. Well, I mean," TB said, casting a dry gaze around the room, "a bringer of death and destruction that isn't already an NPFer."

Pyros dusted himself off. He was capable of foreseeing many things, from 3 seconds to 12 years in the future, but he was nowhere near close to seeing that coming. A heavily modified schoolgirl outfit exploding in his face was yet another part of this world of chaos, and now his face hurt.

Pyros walked over to the one who had been holding the fuku, where he lay after the explosion plus an attack from a girl wearing a nonexplosive fuku. "Are you alright?"

.... Only to be glomped by 150 pounds of solid Rhiya from behind. Uncaring really how much the fire from the fire-god's body scorched her, she shrieked into one of Pyros' ear as she cuddled him like some gigantic, flaming plushie.

"PYROS-SAN! YOU CAME!"

One could literally see the hearts coming from Rhiya's words. It was horrific.

But they dissipated as soon as they went out of range of the current anime-field.