We would all be Naruto.

Speak for yourself, spikey-headed customer! I am Ninja-Burger employee!* I- Hold on, I take call.

*Picks up a ringing phone to take an order of 9 Ninja-Burgers and an order of Fires of the East while a title scrolls up the screen*

Massacre Presents...Tales from a Forum!

Today's episode...The Food Craze!

Okay. Right. Very good. We deliver in 30 minutes or commit seppuku.

*Hangs up and dashes for the door*

NINJA VANISH!

*Comes back 5 minutes later for the FOOD and then leaps out again*

Nikose: "I choose you! Pikachu!"
Krylo: *Shotguns it*
Nikose: "...god damn it, I ALWAYS pick wrong."

Lydia: Brian, come look at the news!

Brian: Why, what's going on?

Lydia: Some guy calling himself "Skyshot" just took over the world with an army of...himself.

Brian: Eh.

"Hello, and welcome to the 'Worship Your Supreme Rulers, the NPFers, Or Else Suffer A Slow And Horrible Death' Show! Today's topic, people who worshipped more than adequately but are receiving a slow and horrible death anyways, by a vote taken on our whims...

I rest my case.

New topic:
Shiney: Well my ban count is 5,000,000
Fifthfiend: My ban count is 10,000,000!
*both scream for seven minutes*

Okay, you sold me.

You're awfully keen on destroying significant portions of imaginary countries, aren't you fifth?

Okay folks, back on topic. I know, I know, I realize I'm a hypocrite, too. Shut up.

Well, if either Ecurt or myself was running it, there would be sailor fukus.

So very many sailor fukus.

Basically anything I do in this thread is on-topic, considering as I basically am the topic in all of these.

Here, you want on topic?

NPF: THE SITCOM

Somebody or Other: "Why, that would destroy half of Canada!"
Fifthfiend: "Okay, you sold me!"
Laff Track: "HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!"

There's your on-topic, right there.

My god, man, even you can't shut up about you!