I'd be a summon character, sort of like the lovechild of Phoenix and Alexander from FFIX (Lady + Cygnet = anthropomorphic swan-creature). I'd be able to heal and life the entire party of allies, plus knock the enemies on their asses with a nice blast o' Holy.

I would be a simple NPC. Whose dialogue would repeat over

and over...

and over...

and over...

and over...

Ok, new one:

"Forumite dating videos."

[Vader]NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO![/Vader]

Dhey'tng?

What is this dhey'tng?

Last one: I'd be the super-cool/smoothe npc who could save the world blindfolded with both hands tied behind his back but he doesn't because he wants the hero to proove himself or something.

Current one:
Me: Hello laddies, I'm the Hack Mage and I know ALL the right buttons to press.

In the background: He cheats all the time!

Me: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, SHUT UP!

Nikose: "...um, hi, I-"
Kaitlyn: *THWACK* what the HELL do you think you're doing?" *Drags away by hair*

Just in case you don't know...you can go more then once in these...

A point that I fully plan to note in my dating video, by the way.

Since I missed the last one, I will be doing both.

First, der gamingness...

*Walks in from out of nowhere*

"Actually, I AM from a video game, technically. Ever play the American version of Persona? I'm a villain, dudes. 'Course, that's just in America. In reality, I am the supah-awesome ruler of the Dark Dominion*, a place that WILL be a game if I gets my way! MWA HA HA HA HAAA!!!"

And now, the dating video...

"Hey there... I'm pure evil, baby! Massacre The Darkgod rules all! You can't do bettah than me! I killed HELL!** I subjagate WORLDS! I am the DARK BOMB!"

*Looks left, then right, then faces the camera again*

"And if you don't pick me, I've got got an incubus*** that'll turn your insides out for fun and give you the thrice-over right in the jackhole of your soul."

Hey, that was fun...

*Real place, with real plans to turn it into entertainment media all in the name of great evil.

**Not kidding. Hell is dry and desolate in the DD.

***Eric the incubus, Hell's ex-comedian who got hired by Mass and then helped him destroy Hell.