Cat's think?

Cat: guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
Cat2: guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh duuuuuuunnnnnh

(Scene: Woman is scraping tuna out of a can when her cat walks up.)
Woman: Oh, pretty kitty, do you want this tuna can?
Cat: Give me the fucking tuna can, bitch.

Woohoo! Something I've known for the longest time, and finally I can reveal it all! KNOW MY PAIN AND TRAGIC SUFFERING!

THE MAN!: Here kitty kitty, here kitty kitty!

Pyros: No. I'm not coming down there. You smell. You smell of ass.

Sub-Being: Aww...come on...I"ve got a nice piece of bacon! Kitty want some bacon?

Pyros: For the last time, i won't be bought out by bribes! I have a reputation that I must keep, a reputation that all those I am associated with look up to. Especially the dogs.

Demithing!: Okay then, I suppose I'll have to eat..this...all...by my...self...

Pyros: Oh come on man! Even I can tell that's just a Beggin strip.

Lilu: IT"S BACON!

Pyros: Shut up you! Don't give into the MAN! Don't you see? He's playing you like fool! Give in once, and he'll walk all over you!

Little Man: You trying to get the cat down dad? Watch this! *turns on Vacuum*

Pyros: AHHHHH! IT'S RETURNED TO FINISH THE JOB!! HISSSSSSSSS!

Lilu: *Unintelligble Barking*

(One 4 foot fall from the bookshelf later)

Mortal: There we go, good kitty. Nice kitty. Such a pretty little kitty.

Pyros: Okay fine, you got me, primitive. But don't expect me to act like I'm enjoying it!....*munch* Hey! It really IS just like bacon!

Lilu: IT"S BACON!

Pyros: YOU can shut up. *chomp*

Your the masters, huh? HA!! You don't see me attending to your every whim and scooping your crap!!

LadyCygnet: Ew, a dead mouse!
Sisko the Cat: Happy early Birthday! >^,^<

You think you own cat?

In Russia (and every where else) cat owns you!

Wow, one of my favorite television quotes ever covers this subject perfectly.

“Hey, this is mine (**spritz spritz**). That’s mine (**spritz**). All this (**spritz spritz spritz**) is mine. I’m claiming all this as mine. Except that bit. I don’t want that bit. But all the rest of this is mine.

Hey, this has been a pretty good day. I’ve eaten five times, I’ve slept six times, and I’ve made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I’m gonna see if I can’t have sex with something!”

Words to live by...

"Ok boys... is there any way of stinking, making a mess, or just generally fouling things up that we haven't covered? No? Very well, as you were."

SO, you just gave me an idea.

"If you woke up 10 Million years in the future"

I would start by haveing sex with robots and then proclaim myself their new ruler because i have wisdom of the olden days.

"Alright, do we have hoverboards yet? No? What the hell have our scientists been DOING all this time??"

Well I'm going to guess that bugs of some sort have taken over...cockroches probably and that the human race killed it self off a while ago...like 10 million years ago...I guess I'd fall asleep again until humans reevolve and then I'd mess with them...maybe all of the stuff we're doing right now has already happened except someone who slept for a long time decided to fuck with us...I think Heinlein wrote a book about how time restarts after a while...or something to that effect...

Oh, crap--everyone looks just like me! =O

Me: *wakes up* The Canadians still haven't won another Stanley Cup since '93? *goes back to sleep*

*Aliens poke semicomatose body, just beginning to awaken*

Five more MINUTES, or I'll chew your face off!

AlienA: Clearly, a hostile and barbaric society.

AlienB: Pity, I had hoped to find an intelligent society on this planet...

I SAID Five more minutes!

Aliens: Ah! By Zothrak, our silicon based lifeforms are on fire! IT BURNS! IT BURRRRNS! Really it does!

"You MANIAACCSSSS!!!!!"

...Jurassic Park was real?!?

Ok then..


"If you could meet any person from any time in the past..."

Hey, Abe, what're you doing tonight? Going to the theatre? Yeah, I'm gonna suggest that you NOT do that..."

Hello, Jesus! May I ask you what role you wanted women to play in your ministry?

"Hey, Adolf! Catch!" *Chucks an ice-ball with a rock inside at his head, causing significant head trauma and a convenient restructuring of personality*

Yo, fifthfiend's parents! Just had a question for you two...WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

English teachers are edible, Mr. Kahn.

Off-Topic: This is precisely why I did not become certified to teach high school English.

On-Topic: Hey, former self! Forget the English degree and go for something practical, like computer science. While I'm here, let me give you some other pointers...

Excuse me, Mr. Washington? I have a question... WILL YOU SIT DOWN??!?!

WARNING! NOT IN GAME!

BTW, Flare, I have a suggestion. Why don't you have a winner and honorable mentions? Just for bragging rights, not so the winner can make the next topic or anything.

Hey, Me from five minutes ago! How ya doin?

... dude, if we have sex, is that masturbation or incest?

-OR-

Hey, it's Flare as a sweet, innocent child before she went into the Marines!

..."Hey, little girl, Did you know they don't let red heads in the marines? It's only the airforce. Sorry."

Merry Gear Christmas: Gunz of the Phantoms of Nostalgia's past: Part IV.
 

Santa, post NPF SAVES X-MAS: Oh, my poor, hideously scarred body....it's a miracle I'm still alive after what that crazed fire guy did to me.... Thank heavens my remaining elves took the brunt of the attack, and their liquidated remains formed a safe, fleshy barrier to protect me from the flames and the horrible crash that broke all my bones....

But...but now, christmas is ruined! The presents, all gone. My elves, so pitiful in number now that even if they got together like rabbits, no way there would be enough of them to make the toys needed in time...and my sleigh, and reindeer!

If only, if only, I could go back in time and undo the damage that he's done...

*waits for a few minutes*

Darn, I had hoped something to that effect would happen, miraculously. Oh well, suppose I'll just have to use the power of the holidays to give myself a new robotic body, then bide my time to build up my strength until the very next christmas, where I rise again to reap bloody revenge upon those who did this to me!

*A massive, fold in time/space occurs, and lightning shoots out from it, scorching everything*

What in the....

Pyros: I'm afraid, I just can't let you do that SANTA!

Santa: So, you've come to finish me off?

Pyros: I'm doing more than that. I'm doing what i should have done, A YEAR AGO!

Santa: What?

Pyros: I've returned, from one year in the future, to this very day where I made on grave mistake. I let you live! And now, now I have paid for this mistake with the death of all that was dear to me!

Santa: So, it seems my plans were to be a success. But what will you do now Pyros? Try to shape things to a better future? Christmas will still be saved, and your friends will be spared!

Pyros: Ha! You foolish fool! This time, there will be no further christmases! IT ENDS TONIGHT, BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS!

*Another fold in Space/time appears*

Ghost of Christmas Past: No PYros! This is not what we agreed upon!

Pyros: It is what I agreed upon. With myself. With this, I shall repair what damage has been wrought upon the world!

Ghost of CP: But what about he damage your actions will have wrought upon the very fabric of time? Existence as we know it could come to an end!

Pyros: Then LET IT COME! I am indeed the god of destruction, am I not?

Ghost of CP: Then you leave me no choice! Come, Warriors of NPF! You must stop Pyros, and save Christmas!

*NPF Heroes arrive, after a long RP that was drawn out by lazyness on the parts of several forumites, including some that got bored and left halfway*

Pyros: So, you shall play into his hand and let your own world suffer? Then so be it, If I must save the land by killing him, then surely I can do so with you as well!

*Great Final Boss battle occurs, for 6 pages of posts. 4 if you chose the option to have 24 posts a page*

Pyros: You ....heh...have fought well...but I never say die! YARRR! *charges them*

NPF'ers: Neither do we! *charges to meet him, together as one unified force*

Pyros of the past: What the hell?

*Both sides stop suddenly, and stare at the newcomer*
*The two Pyrosi meet eyes*

Colonel Campbell: Snake! You've create a time paradox! You can't go about changing the past! You need to know the past, for the future!

Pyros: Damn!

*Electrical storm surrounds Future Pyros, and he disappears, waking up in a black and white farmhouse in Oklahoma*

Pyros: Whoo, what a weird dream. I tell ya, I gotta lay off the week old milk and sugar cookies.....It was horrible! I mean, you were there *points to Flare* and you were there *points to Fenris* I think you were there *points to Nikose* you sure as hell weren't there, and you suck for it *points to POS* SUCK I SAY!

*brief pause*

Pyros: Hey...what the hell are you all doing in my room?

Flare: We've come from the future, to make sure you never again make any lame, psychotic skits, ever again!

*Shoots Pyros in head*

Pyros: AUUUGGGHhh!-AUUUGGGHhh- AUUUGGGHhh- AUUUGGGHhh- AUUUGGGHhh-

Colonel Campbell: TIME PARADOX!

*turns the Water Hose on Pyros*

No wacko, that would take away the fun. Plus they don't do that in Whose Line.And I wasn't a sweet girl there Nik. :P

*If you found yourself trapped in the 8bit chatroom*

pfft, that's easy.

"me:WHAT THE HELL!?"

Me: I will now lurk here, making people wonder about my presence, therefore making them go MAD!! Muahahahah!
Other Chatters: WTF????
Me: Goddamn soliloquy function must be broke.

That's an easy one.

*Steals Raiden's Pants...FOREVER!*

*Is still soaking Pyros with the Firehose*

And for those of you who are wondering what it's like in the 8bit chat, look in the WingWong thread.

*gulp* "I hope cowbells don't hurt too much..."

...and then began the fucking.

And thus began the 623rd snowball fight. This time, Nikose knew to put rocks into the snowballs. However, Karesh had a special weapon set aside: The Snow-cannon.

Oh god.... I'm gonna need a few more beers....and a shotgun. BRING IT ON, FOOLS!!

No... Not the DECIMATOR! you fools, it will destroy you all, not me though, i'll be in the underground bunker with amanda and my cats...

From what I've seen in wing-wong, it's pronounced rape.

Speaking of, you got a purty mouth city boy....

No, it's surprise sex!

And in the spirit of the holidays...

"Worst holiday gifts ever."

On the previous discussion: it's not rape, it's surprise sex! and you're a surprise partner!"

On the new topic!

"...Wh-why did you make a clay model of Santa, paint it, then cut it in half and model the guts and use... is this pig's blood?"

"I thought it would look nice on your front lawn."

"So you gave each of the kids at summer school weapons of varying efficiency, dropped in an insane Japanese man as a teacher, limited the amount food in there and then sealed all the exits?"

"Yup."

"God I hope you never watch Silence of the Lambs."

"A vibrator...um, thanks, Mom?" :sweatdrop

(I really hope it's not another hand-me-down.)

1"W-what are you doing?"

2"Just close your eyes and I'll surprise you."

1"Is it a gift? Will it be like last year?"

2"Oh yeah, but this time better"

*third person walks into room*

3"Oh My god!"

1"What?"

"How come she gets a wii and I don't?!"

See it as you will you sick bastards.

"Yes, I know I said I missed my childhood pet, but could you please re-bury this? Like, right now?"

Wow. I've always wanted a pet... uh.. Cthulhu?

[dies violently]
[Cthulhu chuckles]

In honor of Shiney and Rairai's child-to-be....

"If forumites had kids."

And leave the mods and DB's harpy out of this please.

Heh heh heh...I'll bet Nostradamus never saw this coming!

'Tis a mixture of a smartass, a zombie, and a metroid!

Pyros: Timmy, come here this INSTANT!!!

Timmy: Yes, father dearest?

Pyros: Don't play coy with ME child. Tell me what you notice about this room.

Timmy: Umm...It's my room?

Pyros: Exactly.... Now, tell me something particular about this room?

Timmy: It's...clean?

Pyros: Yes. Can you tell me what's wrong about all this?

Timmy: No sir...I don't see anything wrong with this.

Pyros: Everything, in perfect order?

Timmy: Well, yeah, I guess so.

Pyros: Were YOU the one who cleaned it?

Timmy: Yes. I didn't want it to be hard to find all my stuff.

Pyros: Timmy. You DISAPPOINT ME!

Timmy: But why father!

Pyros: I thought I raised you understand......Timmy, there is no fire.

Timmy: Yeah...so?

Pyros: THERE IS NO FIRE!!!!!!!!!

Timmy: Oh...I don't suppose you want me to...

Pyros: Yes timmy. That Is want I want from my son.

Timmy: But what about my stuff?

Pyros: It's insured.

Timmy: Do I have to?

Pyros: *holds out lighter*

Timmy: Aww....

*Fwoosh!*

Pyros: There we go son, it wasn't that hard. Now that's a room a fire angel can be proud of.

Timmy: Dad, do I have to keep doing this?

Pyros:...Do it for your mother.

Timmy: You're mean dad.

Pyros: I know. I know. Now, let's go set fire to the neighbor's houses again lest they start to get all uppity again.

****

*Learns pattern, and ducks the oncoming firehose*

Fifthfiend: ok son, go say to the noob on the forum what he is gonna get
Fifthfiend son: ok, Daddy, *EXTREMELY DEEP VOICE*YOU ARE BANNED

*Buzzes*

Missed the "Leave the Mods out of this" clause.

*No firehose for Pyros, instead, he gets a bucketful of water dumped on him*

Moving on..


"Movies lines that sound wrong, but really arn't."

"I heard that you like to ride bareback..."

Youth in Asia: The charming, happy story about the life of an orphan in china.

Moving on...

"Forumites from a Mirror Universe.."

Before anyone else gets it in:

-Loyal: I say, Skyshot, my bosom chum. How goes the pilfering?
-Skyshot: Splendidly, friend, splendidly. I'm afraid, however, that you'll not find any more riches to loot from this town. You see, I stole it all.
-Loyal: Why, that's no problem at all, good sir! After all, there are plenty more settlements, filled with people whose wallets we can lighten.
-Skyshot: I'm so glad you could understand.
-Loyal: Besides, I recently emptied the vaults of the local nobility, so I doubt I'll miss anything from here.
[Cue cheesy friend-music and flowery background, dotted with sacks of money.]

Hawk of Peace?

...


>.>

<.<

Nahhh, don't be ridiculous!

*Laughing her ass off* You have GOT to draw that now! I mean, the mental image I got from that....

*God switches member profiles of Gaia Online to NPF and vice versa*

"Hehehe, suckers!"

So... umm... does this mean you guys can't steal anything in THIS universe?

Mirror MT (wearing pink armor and a large flowery hairpin): "If we all got together for a big group hug every day, no one would ever get mad!"

...Why do I suddenly dread the next Quote Hunt?

Mirror, Mirror...
 

BMG!: "I HATE cats!"
Melfice: "I hate books...and catgirls!"
Nikose: "I hate EVERYONE...except Krylo...because he's hawt."
Fenris: "Band sucks, and trombone players are losers."
Pyros9: "Fire is much too dangerous!"
FlareCobra: "Go Army--Marines are sissies!"
TheSpacePope: "Bush has done a lot of good in the Middle East."
Krylo: "I'm not perfect."
Fifthfiend: "Chrono Trigger is not the best video game ever created. Anyone who disagrees with me gets FLUFFY BUNNY!"
Meister: "No leeway for you!"
Lady Cygnet: "I don't know what I'm doing here--I have a date with Orlando, and I HATE Final Fantasy!"

(Just a sample...)

Me:"Look guys I know you love Halo but it's really NOT that good, I mean come on. How many times can you kill an alien before it gets boring? now Final Fantasy, theres a game that'll never get old."

So, you rule a stupid empire, and have no clue as to what goes on? Good God man! You need some real help!
Me " awwww...."

Me: Guys, may I suggest these "happy" pills?
Everyone else: Of course! Give 'em here...


Uh-huh, yeah, that's definitely not like me. I would instigate craziness, not stop it.
Huh? Fucking soliloquy function! Still busted!

Once school gets back in session (Extra days of vacation due to a gas leak), consider it done. XD

Me:I don't have facial hair, and am a force of good.

FPN MessageBoard: A literal bulletin board upon which a group of idiots travel across a small town to put up post it notes, using only l33t and words made up of 2 or more letters. Here's a post on World of Warcraft:

Rest assured, fellow Forumites, that this is just a mirror universe, and that such horrors will never grace us in our present reality. Barring of course, some totally unforeseen breech of spacetime caused by an anomaly in the universe's chrono-gamma waves resonation. But pffft, like that'll ever happen.

Bobbey in this universe: I love the Beatles!!

Bobbey in mirror universe: I love Elvis!!!

o_O.

Mirror universe implodes.:D

Moving on...

"If you could have any power, but have to do something stupid to activate it....."

Sparrow: Holy schnikes, Cygnet! We've got to talk Hawk out of firing the missiles at St. Louis!
Cygnet: Good thing that suggestion is my power.
[They barge into Hawk's lair]
Hawk: [To his guards] Kill them.
Cygnet: [Whips off superhero top and shakes breasts] You will not kill us. You will disarm the missiles. You will capture Hawk.
Soldiers: Yes, mistress!
Cygnet: *sigh* I hate the way this superpower works. I always end up arrested for indecent exposure.

Curses! If only I had not left my novelty foam cowboy hat in my satelite headquarters, you would be rent with fire!

Oh, no...superhero time! *farts, then transforms into a cougar*

The thief knew that when he heard the yodeling, it was already too late...

ed: I DUN SPILL GUD

"Captain Disability to the rescue!" *Clubs self in face with Crowbar*

*drops pants* "Why did the web have to generate from here?"
"What?! Oh dear god why? Why, god why?!"-Random Thug

BUKAKKE FOR GREAT JUSTICE

"*crying*You're the worst Spidey Ever!!!*crying*" -RT

VM: "Drop those bags of money, you uncreative burglar!"
Burglar: "Oh yeah?" *points gun* "Make me."
VM: "With gusto!" *eats a banana, then drops the peel and slips on it, causing a tremor that knocks the burglar off his feet and sends his gun flying straight into a trash can*
Cops: *just arrive* "You're under arrest!"
Burglar: "Curse you, Vaudeville Man!"
VM: *standing up* "I just wish I knew why it only works with bananas..."