As if Krylo's egomania was not already beyond all measure
 

Lefties pwn righties, determines Aussie study

All right, now can you guys stop complaining about Link?:D

Yeah, but considering lefties are only 10% of the entire population, the righties will always own through sheer overwhelming numbers!

That, and lefties are more prone to earlier deaths than us righties too. Which, in my opinion is probably because even the higher ups are made to feel bad due to the fact that lefties are supposedly better than righties in everything.

My sister's a lefty, is an artist, dates a rapper, got a Wii the day it came out, has won many awards, and is incredibly funny and popular.

Me? I got my mother's looks. Yay me.

Actually that study has been since considered invalid, due to the fact that there are many reasons for a lack of lefties in the older generations, not the least of which is that our grandparents and (to a lesser extent) parents were beaten into being right-handed.

Also this comes as no surprise. After all I'm a lefty, which makes all other lefties awesome by association.

I would never make such a claim, since it's ALSO far more likely for us lefties to be serial killers.

Of course, that could be because of the prosecution of our kind.

Well and I'm just throwing this out there but

Apparently you got the family share of dignity.

I mean fuck, a rapper? She couldn't fuckin' scrounge up a dude who plays an actual instrument?

Ayup, and it's only relatively recently (say, the last half of the century, maybe less) that the practice has been fully abandoned. Hell, Ringo Starr was switched as a child, by his family (which is one of the reasons his drumming sounds so distinctive, apparently--something to do with his handedness versus his drum setup, I think).

Woohoo! I'm awesome now!

There is only one reason needed for all Lefties to be beaten into being Righties; have you ever sat at a crowded table with a Lefty to your right? Damn straight it sucks! Righty Supremecism!! Down with Lefties!!

Aww, isn't that special? But you know what's really great? Being ambidextrous like me!

You suckers and your having to favor one hand over the other!

You know, I wouldn't go saying things like that, considering...
It's true actually.

We're also more likely to have genius level IQs.