Weep for Me.
 

I have been posting on this forum all day, since five in the fucking morning.

I have become.....fifthfiend.

So, like the title says -- make with the weepin' people.

If you need me, I'll be, naked, crying in the bathroom, newly hairless, possibly smelling of pee, and guzzling cherry Robitussen in a sadder-than-this-day-on-the-forums attempt to commit really unpleasant-tasting suicide. I mean, really, it's nothing like cherries at all. Who are they kidding?

And, btw, my post count seems to be stuck at 136. I may be all emo and suicidal and shit, but I mean, what the ass?

So, you've spent most of your day on these forums, nothing but these forums, and only these forums?

Look on the bright side... at least your name isn't fifthfiend. So you're not completely him right?

Also, if your contemplating suicide, read this:
(caution, contains language and the, yunno, talking about dieing thing)

link

EDIT: almost forgot, *tear*.

Oh man -- "I'M FAMISHED FOR MORE SHIT"

My inner eight-year-old could not stop fucking laughing. Seriously. My stomach hurts. My cheeks are tear- (and Robitussen-) stained.

And hey, FBM, how did you know I was a Coprophiliac? I've been so ashamed all these poo-filled years...

Damn. I really couldn't keep up the emo/suicide shtick, now could I? *sigh* I promise I'll be moody tomorrow. Right now, I've got a date with a chainsaw bayonet that I simply cannot miss. Hmmm... My Saturday night is spent playing GoW, so I can maintain my spot in the top 2.2% of all Gears players...that's sad. I can use that!

Compromise: I'll only play Gears naked, hairless, sobbing, sticky with Robitussen, and peeing wildly. The people I play with will have a good story to tell in the morning.

I have another board I end up spending a lot of time on as I am an admin, and another community I have been a member on for close to 10 years. Unfortunatly I dont have the time to spend sitting on a forum for hours on end like that though. But hey, if it keeps you entertained, so be it ^_^

And you know that posts in Off-topic don't increase your post count, right?

Ironically, I haven't been around like all day.

Conservation of internet-junkieism?

... Are you high?

The first law of forumdynamics.


On life

In reality, though, no. Which actually kind of makes it worse.

Seriously what the fuck am I still doing here? I have a 50" HDTV which I didn't pay for to go play Execution on, to keep my rank up. Why can't I leave? What are you doing to me, fifth?!

You know what he will do if you don't go play some goddamn video games RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!?

I'll give you a hint.

It starts with An and ends with alrape.

OK. It's 8:52. If I cannot summon the will to play GoW, then I'll probably just end up starving to death in my bed (yes, my computer is placed next to my bed. No, I am not 960 pounds. A slim 840, thankyouverymuch).

But I'd have to get up. And maybe unplug the cable modem, and plug it in in another room. Like some fucking austrolopithicine. I might as well just take a shit on my floor, right here and now.

...I really have to get up. This is becoming genuinely disturbing. I've been here for a good 16 hours now....I feel...unwell.

Buy a router, you lazy pile of fecal matter.