Gross.
 

So, I was absent-mindedly scratching my (Italian, and therefore hairy-as-fuck) chest, when I felt a bump. A familiar kind of bump. I knew at once, it was a blackhead. Being a bit of an obsessive-compulsive, I got excited. See, I love to squeeze blackheads. I will squeeze other people's blackheads. Well, if they would let me. :(

Anyway, I could tell right away that it was going to be truly epic. And I was right; the kernel of hardened sebum that was extruded was approximately two fucking milimeters in diameter. Let me just say, for reference, that the average human hair follicle is between 0.05mm and 0.09mm. So, an average of 0.07mm.

Therefore, my pore basically birthed this blackhead, stretching to 2,857% its original diameter. It totally wasn't a big deal, though. I don't see what all these women are complaining about.

Who else has mildly disgusting stories to tell, which they're actually a little bit proud of?

Disgusting topic. I approve greatly.

Let's see how many women we can pull into this thread.

Whenever I belch, I try and make it sound like Master Belch from Earthbound.

I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that particular game/character/belch. Care to explain, in rich, disturbingly vivid language?

Well I'm fairly popular for my ability to belch. I can do it on command, but I've long since understood the mechanics behind the power belch, and can't usually release a nuke on command. But given something to drink and a bit of time at least, I can shake the walls.

No really! I actually did once! With no proof of airplanes or huge trucks driving by at the moment it happened, I can only conclude the most epic burp of my life shook the entire foundation of my house. A friend and I were having a burping contest and coke was in the room...I was clearly winning, but eventually I stood up and *RRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!* And post-burp you could hear the walls shaking. From upstairs and across the house my parents actually came downstairs and went "What the hell was that?"

Bah, I've never been able to duplicate that one yet.

.....

May I build a shrine to you?

o
III
+-------+
+ +
+ +
+ +
+ +
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???????????????????????????
I:I::I::I::::I::::I::I::I:I
______________________I:I::I::I::::I::::I::I::I:I_ _____________________
I????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????I
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII/?????\IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII/????oo????\IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I::::::::::::::::::::I[]I:::::::::::::::::::::::I[]I::::::::::::::::::I
I I[]I ./o\. I[]I I
I HH HH HH I[]I /I?????I\ I[]I HH HH HH I
I HH HH HH I[]I /II:::::II\ I[]I HH HH HH I
I I[]I III l III I[]I I
I____________________I[]I III .l. III I[]I__________________I I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_II[]I______IOI__l__IOI______I[]II_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I_I
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
BURPMASTER – SENSEI AZISIEN


There's a shrine. Unfortunately, it only works right in Courier New. I'll see if the font tag works...

Crap.

1. The font tag works, if you use vbcode tags in [] brackets, instead of html tags in <> brackets, as handily demonstrated via edit by me.

2. Don't double post. It's a rule we have. You might have noticed it, in the list of rules we have. That is, if you had actually read the rules that we have.

I am sorry. I am a sorry individual. I am sorry, a sorry individual.

Anyway, I put the thing on photobucket:

[IMG SRC="http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k74/Wraithphyre/shrine.jpg"]

There.

Among the many wonders and delights to be found in that aforementioned rules thread is a link to all the multitudes of VBcodes available to a budding young forumite such as yourself, like for instance, the code which I have used to do this:

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...yre/shrine.jpg

BEHOLD!