My mom and dad forgot to decide who was getting me and my sister Valentine's Day presents this year, so we ended up getting one from each of them. There's a box of Russel Stovers and a box of Ferrero Rochers on my desk and I am a happy, happy girl. So aside from the weather being crappy and school being a bitch, it was a pretty good Valentine's day.

You get Vday presents from your parents? Weird. I guess that's how it works in your family. My parents just go out and leave me to babysit the bitch (sister) and make sure the blob (obese cat) doesn't pee on stuff. I ended up playing God Hand and writing all night. It was quiet and enjoyable.

Well, I just spent my Valentine's Day holed up in the basement with my parents so that my younger brother could spend four and-a-half hours upstairs with his girlfriend, I assume to 'romance the pants' off of her.

Lucky little bastard. He makes me proud, jealousy aside.

Go Jake!

Nah, it was Happy Valentine's Day. I normally say "Happy V-Day," but saying "Happy VD" reflects my warped sense of humor and the idea that not everyone enjoys Valentine's Day...just as not everyone enjoys venereal disease.

But hey, if someone's got venereal disease, that person can have the satisfaction of knowing that he got laid at least once. :p

Nope, that would have been both illegal and unethical.

No, I got to be the first pelvic exam for four very lucky first year medical students. Their professor, who is also an FP/OB/GYN doctor, did the first exam, and then they followed suit. It was actually quite funny, and we all appreciated the irony of multiple female pelvic exams on that very special day. :D

Well, at least your "special friend" got some attention.

I got UHF for Valentine's Day.

Best. Valentine's Day gift. EVER!

Happily, it was the first time I'd ever seen it, and I was pretty trashed.

The Wandering God

I'd make a gangbang joke, but we're already past post limit.

So please, insert your own multiple penetrational humor here.