Needs more Chuck Norris.

Honestly the black/white sketch art is a big turnoff, and it needs a bit more comic-like structure. Try making templates for the borders of your comic, it'll make it prettier if you really are trying to go for the whole White Ninja-style thing.

well, I would color it, but I really dont want to use paint to do it, and Im about as good at coloring as I am at drawing. If I can find a way, I will color them, and redice the massive size as well.

Photoshop (or if you're not into piracy/buying software) the GIMP.

Also: RID may look broke-ass, but that's a figment of your imagination. Please adjust your monitors and give me the hour or so neccesary to fix, I mean, for your monitor to readjust.

It doenst seriouysly need more CN does it, I really hate that guy. Also, yeah, I will use GIMP to color from now on, wbut waht about the humor?

Suggestion, maybe you should take this discussion to PM or get Mirai to post in your own thread.

Right now, we're straying a bit from the subject at hand.

Sorry bout that. Wont happen again.

As you know from my postings on your DeviantArt account, I do enjoy your comic, Mirai. However, I do have some constructive criticism, with Penny Arcade episodes to provide examples.

Example 1

Allow me to contrast the nudity in your Transformers, Robots Out of Disguise comic (hope you like my title for that one. :p) with this Penny Arcade episode.

See, the problem with that episode of your comic was that we all saw that joke from a mile away. Yes, it is a funny joke (I mean, transformers porn? I'll admit, I've, well, I've purused DeviantArt for some less-than-savory pictures, OK? So I've seen things that would make 'Nam vets cringe, and yet Transformers Porn has got to be the wierdest thing I've ever seen, without exaggeration), but it was obvious from the first panel what was going to happen.

However, in the PA comic, we don't expect a professional TV journalist to suddenly appear nude, let alone on-camera, peering into somone's home. The unexpected nature of it, and the inherent absurdity of it is what makes it funny.


Example 2

Similie is your friend.

"Like some fucked up Escher painting, 'The Perfect Eternal Jackass.'"

Adjectives are cool and all, but simile, metaphor ("You are the Dalai Lama of retards" was a good one from a fairly recent PA episode, I believe), and comparison are really where your creativity and originality can shine -- it's where you distinguish yourself from the pack. I mean, look at this forum; this forum can be pretty damn hilarious, and usually Fifth or Krylo can be found somewhere at the root of said hilarity. Reason? They're both extremely talented at concoting some of the most descriptive, absurd, and just plain outrageous similies and comparisons that I've ever read (not to mention profane and scatalogical).


Example 3

I guess we can call this "punch." (Hence the term punchline). The first line, uttered by Gabe, kind of just knocks the unfunny right out of you. Shit-fucking is always kind of funny, but especially when spoken of so directly, so matter-of-factly. Many times, that same kind of direct, unexpected, punch-you-in-the-testicles kind of delivery can really add humor to a joke.

Example 4

Visual humor. There's a reason Shiney uses this as his avatar. You are somewhat limited in this by your photographic medium, but so far I think it's still been drastically underused in your strip. It might be worth trying to come up with some sort of drawing style -- you could still do transformers, but a WACOM and PS just gives you so much more damn feedom than toys.

Example 5

Honestly, I really could've used any funny comic strip for this example. Why? Because my whole point here is just about absurdity. I mean, really, that's what humor is all about. So, I guess all I'm saying is really try to push the limits of your creativity -- ingest potentially leathal amounts of Rockstar and stay up for six days straight if you have to, or actually think about Advent Children's plot, basically, just try to loosen up your sanity for a little while, and see what oozes out.

But to think about something doesn't it have to... you know... exist?

See!

Funny!

Thinking about the absurd, the impossible, the mind-bending, it's all great material.

Ergo, I am a fucking genius.

I agree, but you have to realize that Penny Arcade carries that flavor of 'I wish I had thought of that first', because Tycho is a brilliant writer, and trying to be as good as him is simply shooting too damn high. I'm trying, but I need to do a bit of practice first. I'm a fantasy writer first and foremost, and I'm using this to force my comedy side into growing up.

Plus, there's the added effect that I'm not doing an art comic. If I was drawing this thing by hand - along with, y'know, being a good artist - I would have alot more freeform stuff to work with (since I could really do just about anything I wanted). Having action figures and Photoshop and Google Images really limits my ability to do things, alot more than you might believe. And meshing action figures and art together...especially my art...just sounds like Disaster City, Florida.

Plus, I'm trying to be less like Penny Arcade. Sure, I'll have the occasional offbeat tiddy-boom humor, but I'm going for short story arcs as a main source of the comicry. Meanwhile Tycho refers to it as 'dreaded continuity'. Most of the one-shots I'm going to use are still going to tie into the main 'story' anyway.

I'm completely taking your advice into account, but I just want you to keep in mind that this isn't trying to be Penny Arcade 2, and to attempt that would be folly of the highest degree.