Time After Time
 

Summer is beginning, and that means that school is ending. Which means, among other things, that I'm heading off to prom. We were told that there are two important people - the Grad President and the Valedictorian. Talking to some adults, they still remember the speech that their Valedictorian made at the end of the year. I've only heard a few speeches, which spout off advice, and philosophies... and while the one I'm going to share shares the same outline, it seems more honest to me.

I was wondering - does anyone remember their Prom Night, Speeches, or Festivities? If so, what advice can you give me, and those about to step out into the world?

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Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) Mix
Tara Morice

Listen To It Here

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sun screen have been proved by scientists, where as the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering of my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth... never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me – in 20 years, you’ll look back on photo’s of yourself, and recall in a way that you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, and know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind – the kind of the kind that blindsides you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy – sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive – forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life – some of the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives – some of the most interesting 40 year olds still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees – you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40 – maybe you’ll dance the funky children on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance – and so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body – use it everyway you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it – it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance – even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past and the people who are most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but there are precious few you should hold on to.

Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography in lifestyle – ‘cause the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths; prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you will fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you – maybe you’ll have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one will run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair – or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you by, but be patient with those that supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia – dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sun screen.

Never went to prom--figured it'd be a waste of my time and my parents' money since I didn't like anyone I went to HS with.

As for valedictorian speeches, I consider the valedictorian to be near the bottom of the list of people I'd ask for advice concerning life... considering how lopsided their lives are. I'd rather hear from the guy who is in the middle of the pack, because he's going to be the most average, well-rounded person in the bunch.

Panels 1 and 2 of this comic are pretty good ideas. Makes life interesting, at least.

As to other concepts, I can't really help you. Just don't be afraid to take risks, and remember to have a fallback plan in case of severe life fuck-up.

Also, out already? Lucky git. I've got classes until the middle of June.

Prom cost too much, and I can't remember what the Valedictorian said. The other one (something ending in orian) was pointed out to me as having a lisp (I knew him for years and never noticed it, or had become used to it), and the speech was just some feel-good crap.

I'm glad I recognized that most of that stuff was all BS, it saved me a lot of money. The thing I hated most about graduating was the senior project. Idiotic. Nothing academic about it, they just want you to do something for the school for free before they'll hand you your paper, which you earned through ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE, not asking for donations to some random cancer society or paying for a new foyer.

I never went to the prom. In fact, I never went to any school dances. But there was a special reason why I didn't go to prom night. It's because of an attitude I had about proms back then; an attitude that can be best summed up in three little words . . . .

FUCK PROM NIGHT!!!!!!

But hey, that was during my cynical phase, what do you expect? The only activity I attended was the graduation ceremony. I don't remember any of the speeches, because it was all a bunch of blathering nonsense, but it was still fun, though.

As for what to do after high school, I will offer the same advice I gave last year: when you leave grade school, your life will inevitably change in one of two ways. Either your life will get a lot better, or a lot worse. If you're lucky, your life will get better.

I couldn't tell you the name of my head boy, girl or dux if I tried or any of their or anyone else there's speeches, I spent most of graduation listening to a well hidden MP3.

I spent the first part of prom night at the pub (rarely needed and ID, I'm big and more reserved than most my age so I tend to pass without being checked) with a couple of older friends and genral pub residents watching a AFL game. And the second part watching horror movies with my friends with a goth girl in my lap, she's a macarbe girl so no hugging out of fear and it wasn't(and isn't) romantic so no huggin for that reason, though there was bouncing with glee when the killer striked or her predictions over who would die in what order came true. So no actual prom but still a night good enough to remember. My best friend actually went(didn't go with cause I didn't care about anyone else there, and having a few too many morals for his reason for going, searching for and taking advantage of the drunken depressed dateless) and came back to the movies so drunk(presumably from being unsuccessful), we duct taped him to a tree on the front lawn, upside down. That was the second of three times we've done that to him.

My prom night was pretty fun I guess. Fancy dresses, nice girls in them, a buffet, dancing, and ride around in a limo. I guess my suit was expensive, but then it's been the suit I've used countless other times for job interviews or formal occasions. I guess my advice there is: it might be economically sound for you to buy a practical suit for prom. If you're buying, that is.

Speaking of Prom Suits, expect a pic of me up sometime soon.

Jeez, the internet is infested with prom cynics. Seriously everyone, it's pretty fun for the reasons Azisien says. Even if you can't get a date, just ask a lady friend to go with you, you have a good time and get to see what the other one looks like all dressed up.

Also, who has their prom in June? Ours was back in April.

EDIT: Seriously? It took me a day to realize that I misspelled cynics?

That requires some of us to actually have lady friends.

Im doubting Im gonna go to mine when the time comes. I'd rather my parents used the money for something we need, like finishing our basement, deck, or something else, plus, I absolutely hate to dress up, and I hate dancing and socializing too.