"See? Now we're all cute, except for me because I appear as a sexy and mature villainess that represents the evils of feminity. Like Poison Ivy. And now.....TENTACLES!" Ethilvira-Asheth-Pyros said, having dressed Arhiyara in cat ears, a ridiculous looking skirt and plastering some kind of crescent moon to both of her foreheads.

Arhiyara was... puzzled by this. There was something about this set-up that she knew was familiar, but there was an undercurrent of wrongness. Her heads swayed from side to side, regarding Sailor Phoenixbot and her nemesis Ethilvra. They were both right... the jarring element was not them. And then she finally realised that the problem lay in her. There was only one way she could fix this.

To an outside observer, Arhiyara looked perplexed, then resolved, and then she exploded.

The ornaments Ethilvra had added were blasted away, the outer layer of Arhiyara's diamond hide blowing off with it in a cloud of sparkling prismatic motes. A dragon shaped creature of glowing light, Arhiyara twisted, her surroundings faded to a nondescript pastel backing. Her wings arched and suddenly shifted, splaying into feathery tips, loose feathers whirling about her.

Silvery bands of light appeared about her limbs, and tail, thickening and soldifiying into shining metal. Brilliant plating formed along her spine, up neck and down tail, flanks also guarded by gleaming adamant, decorated in gold. Finally, something between a tiara and a helmet appeared on both of her heads. Crowning it at the center of a sunburst pattern, a glowing gem of ruby appeared.

Ethilvra found the creature she'd dressed up had made a costume change of her own - majestic and armoured, skin a white laced with a subtle iridescence of other hues, possessed of feathered wings of a heartbreaklingly pure white. Blue eyes devoid of rage looked at the charging fungal trolls and Ethilvra.

She even managed to match Sailor Phoenixbot aesthetically while keeping her own style.

Arhiyara suddenly knew what she had to do. It was all so clear now.

"LOVE!"

The word burst from the lips of both of Arhiyara's heads, along with a devastating torrent of pure love. Her heads swung around, love blasting from her gaping jaws in a coherent beam of reddish pink, silvery sparks leaping off it. She was gunning for everyone with the power of peace and love.

* * *

Far, far away, back at the arena the first match had been fought in, the carcass of the giant enemy C.R.A.B. shifted, a piece of armour plating pushed to the side. Kayessa emerged unsteadily, her bright red hair making her stand out in the field of smashed robo-corpses. The exploding cyborg crustacean had collapsed on her on its defeat, her self repair mechanisms taking a few minutes to bring her back online. Undoubtably it had seemed like a lot longer. She looked around.

"Hello?" she called out, finding the place deserted. "Is anyone here?"

As the nefarious tentacles wrapped around Phoenixbot's legs, and the fungal trolls closed in from all directions, accompanied by Arhiyara's explosion, it would appear for a moment Phoenixbot was doomed to whatever fate doomed magical girls succumb to. Most likely found on some hideous hentai website, or some other hive of scum and villany on the internets(TM).

But today were not that day! As the evil closed in around her, Phoenixbot looked skyward with a helpless, pleading expression.

"Oh, what would Jimmy do in a situation like this?"

~Flashback!~

Last week, at Phoenixbot's school, she is seen seated at a desk going over a tactical manual whilist a trio of nearby girls lean toward her. The four are all engaged in a typical schoolgirl conversation regarding the effective range of 125mm carbide railguns.

"Oh, but the flux converter is too cute to overload like that!" Phoenixbot squealed at the suggestion of one of her friends, only to stop mid-sentance at the arrival of a tall, broad-shouldered, long-haired bishonen man who had suddenly appeared. Sparklies accompanied, of course.

"All you have to do..." He winked, in a low, sultry-

*POP*

Suddenly, the dream bubble burst, as a shadowy form of Phoenixflame punched the man in the back of the head with her right hand.

"What the hell is this? When did you get childhood memories?!" The dream-technomancer shouted, in a very annoyed tone that imaginary, hallcinogenic mother-figures tend to do. "Have you been downloading things off the internet again?" she scolded accusingly in a similar fashion.

"Um..." Phoenixbot wibbled.

"Whatever. Just remember what I taught you about melee combat." Phoenix ruffled the android schoolgirl's head. "Ah, and don't forget this." she added, presenting Phoenixbot her dream-sequence version of the PX-05 Beamscythe, redone in a white and pink paintjob with gratuitious golden wing-designs in place of it's formerly minimalist gun-metal grey coloration.

"Now go out there, and do me proud."

~End Flashback!~

"I know!" Phoenixbot said a mere milisecond later in dramatic time, as if a giant lightbulb had suddenly exploded with the rapidity of a proton torpedo flying down a 2-meter wide thermal exhaust port. Reaching out with her hand, Phoenixbot activated her subspace armory system to transport the PX-05 Beamscythe to her hand. This would have to substitute for typical magical girl summoning powers.

"DAZZLING LUNAR CUT!"

Firmly gripping her new "staff", Phoenixbot thumbed over the activation switch, and swung low. The new magical girl beamscythe buzzed to life, emitting a cresent tounge of silver (rather than azure) energy, severing the tentacles attempting to ensnare her legs.

"Now Ethilvira, In the name of justice and love, I shall punish you for your transgressions!" Phoenixbot challenged her nemesis upon freeing herself. It just seemed awkward not to dramatically inform the villian of the palpable usage of love during combat, even though they obviously didn't care. Regardless, her tiara, fuku, and staff all glittered powerfully as Arhiyara's love-blast supercharged them with the powers of righteous goodness.

IC was angry. He had a giant mob of noobs and whatnot coming at him. His opponent had thrown a stupid web of stickiness, so he stopped caring about that. And he had lost a perfectly good steak for nothing. So IC did what he always did when he was angry. He broke stuff.

And by stuff, I mean the mob. One daring idiot came at IC with a rock, and swung it at his face. IC grabbed the hand with the rock in it, and crunched both under his hand. He then ripped the arm off of the noob, and broke it over a lurker's head. He picked up the spear from it, and impaled 3 more noobs. The a flamer came, so IC tossed that aside. The flamer came at him, swinging a flaming sword. IC threw a noob at him, which died in the fire. When the flamer got out and faced IC again, IC threw the flamer into the web. Seemed like a good way to get rid of that webbing.

IC picked up the flaming sword, and hurled it through a few more of those noobs. This might take a while. Its okay though, IC has a lot of pent up rage that he doesn't mind exposing to them.

TBMoichi took careful note of his surroundings through the stomping of his companions footsteps to the echoes of their voices in the odd round room. Every floor of this tower was designed by someone who had nothing to do with the floor preceding it.TBMoichi thought almost in awe of the strange architecture, or the same man who is also crazy. For some odd reason Pedro crossed his mind for a moment.

As the others spoke to Twiddy TBMoichi had no recollection of who this man, woman or perhaps a twig creature of some variety happened to be. Yet as NPFers they shared a mutual bond and maybe in another world, another lifetime they had met. "So, this is where the forgotten go." Maybe TBMoichi had been rude then too.

This whole arena just seems to be taking the wrong turn...
 

Renée may have been less agile than the imps, but she was faster—at least, she was used to being faster. These flight bracelets, however useful, just weren’t fast enough to keep up. Swatting hopelessly at the damn swarm, Renée glanced towards the nearest paint-free section of the room and prepared for her move.

She took a deep breath.

And fired—her gun still pointed at the ground. A swarm of dull green grenades burst on contact with the paint-smeared ground and a cloud of opaque, grey smoke filled the area. Renée burst from this cloud—and a cloud of disoriented and choking imps—and slid across the floor in an overly enthusiastic display of balance. When she hit drier ground, she broke into a run, leaving the fluttering cloud of scrabbling, biting, and thieving demons behind while most of her was still unprodded.

“So what’s the plan?” KP asked.

“I’m going to shoot them,” Renée answered.

“...think of a new plan.”

“NEVER!”

Renée spun around suddenly and opened fire in a wide arc. Bright red cylinders flew every which way, and exploded in massive globs of gel that coated imps and splattered over the ground. Flaming imps flew every way—screaming as they burned and slamming into walls or the ground. Even for this infernal rain, the imps were too numerous. They burst through the walls of flame, wove through globules of flaming gel, and descended from above in clouds of shrieking darkness. Renée fled, again, from the ever darkening mass of imps—just in time for William’s minions to flood the scene, so to speak.

Renée’s eyes widened. “I can’t win this battle.”

“You can. You’re not seeing for the trees.”

“What?”

“Strateegery!” KP proclaimed, loudly.

“...what?!”

“What is the battle?”

A moment of clarity.

“...right.” Renée didn’t stop, she aimed by camera, and dodged on whatever instinct came by being a female surrounded by tentacles. Or, at least, one who isn’t entirely ineffectual.

She pulled the trigger, and a flurry of grey spat erratically at the diamond behemoth.

At the very least, damsel captures dragon would be pleasantly ironic.

Nikose calmly took off his hat, and placed it firmly on Twiddy's head.

he did not acknowledge Twiddy in any other way, but Twiddy probably understood the hat reference as one of deepest affection.

or to spread fleas/lice or whatever might have gotten into Nikose's hair in the last 12 hours or so, since Nikose washed his hair thoroughly before coming, but there had been a fucking BEAR so you never know what gets in there.

"Okay, a locked door. You got the key, Twiddy? Where's the keyslot to open the door?" Nikose asked quietly.

"Ow! Impertinent saturday morning do-gooders! How dare you cut the tentacles I grabbed you with before I had gathered enough of yonder junk vegetable to torture you with! And all that icky love being spewn about not unlike a sick kid at Chuck. E. Cheese's.... The rudeness!" Ethilvira steamed, lamenting the loss of a few easily regrowable tentacles and the sudden flux of love in the battle.

Seeing that there were now 2 magical girls about to attack her, Ethilvira knew she had to bring in some reinforcements of her own....sensing the appearance of the strange, fungi like trolls, she knew it was a godsend from the evil lord of the un-kawaii-verse. Which...was also herself.

As the Trolls were too stupid to become enraptured by her evil seductive nature, Ethilvira used another, less tactful method.

"Go forth my newfound minions!" She cackled, her tentacles reaching out and seizing the attacking enemy trolls, and flinging them at her nemeses.

***
(ooc:Just a joke I want to pull off, feel free to ignore if you want)
Meanwhile, in the Capitalist's manor, A winged being arose. Perhaps due to the time dilation of the of area or due to the being's own transcendant qualities, another Pyros emerged from the mists of time and space.

"I have returned, after a long and arduous training in the hidden mountains of Redpeak under the tutelage of the mysterious master swordsman Pepperjack, to reclaim my honor! Bruticus! Fight me, and feel pain!"

Of course, due to the time displaced nature of this world, neither the Capitalist or Bruticus knew what the hell he was talking about.

***

Ecurt zoomed the camera in on the remet Twiddy, whom he'd not seen in a while. Something seemed a bit off, and a bit too easy, but when something happened he'd at least have a camera rolling on it. If only to record his own demise for posterity.

The two opposing plushies sat on either side of him, drinking from juice boxes. Ecurt's plushies did not have the power sources that the originals had, so if he intended to use them for a longer run, then they had to be recharged. There were a cornucopia of ways to do so, from powercells to magic stones to simple AA batteries, but he'd long thought that the juice boxes were the most visually pleasing, especially to bleeding hearts like most of the forumites.

"Smile for the camera Twiddy, you may or may not be on television!" Ecurt joked, although cameraman were not to be seen nor heard. He figured it would be okay, as Mauve hadn't reported in a while.

"Silly Nikose," scoffed Mauve. "As if we need keys to open doors, like some kind of normal people. You happen to be surrounded by people with nigh-unlimited powers of destr--" She stopped, realizing something.

"Oh yeah," she said glumly. "The 'no destroying our stuff' rule. I'm really starting to dislike that thing."

She noticed the now purple-crowned Twiddy in his new janitorial job.

"Wow. I guess being a triple-personalitied wizard just doesn't pay the bills like it used to, hm?"

"You're clearly heartless!" Phoenixbot retorted, knocking aside a fungal troll with a motion not unlike parrying a heavy axe using a quarterstaff. The troll glanced off to one side, bounced, and rolled a little way, spending several precious seconds trying to figure out what happened.

"How can you send your poor minions to their deaths like this?!" She continued, as if caring for innocent fungal trolls was part of her being. Perhaps she was overdoing it though, as they were clearly creatures of darkness.

Bounding forward with an impressively limber gait, Phoenixbot dodged and hopped around, and kicked off, and otherwise attempted to move past the aerial fungal trolls to engage her nemesis in true, honorable, and textbook dramatic single (or small group, counting Arhiyara) combat. Her high-heeled sparkly ruby boots, equipped with tiny white wings at the heels, assisted this traversal of ground with frightening rapidity.

Phoenixbot didn't know much about being a Mahou Shoujo (as very few even among the profession do), but she did know that Ethilvira was not simply going to die, or even convert to goodness, or even give up and cackle maniacally as she beat a hasty retreat. Of course, of the above, the last was most likely, as she was clearly the series recurring villian.

Clearly.

And the only way Sailor Phoenixbot was going to defeat or force such a recurring villian to retreat was if she managed to master a new and stunningly powerful cutscene move, of which the audience had not seen so many times as to yawn aloud and fast-forward past it. The quickest and most obvious route to such an ability would be via her magical guide revealing such a secret to her.

Sadly, Arhiyara was too busy rampaging to give her such advice.

Hope yet remained! For Arhiyara would be forced to reveal such a move if Phoenixbot rashly engaged Ethilvira in mortal combat, and was horribly defeated. If all went according to plan, she'd make a miraculous comeback that would leave her nemesis mindboggled and unable to defend mere moments from succumbing to her evil powers!

"Kyaa!" She yelled, thrusting her shimmering winged moonsilver beam-scythe/staff at Ethilvira's head, whilist ignoring said evil nemesis' minions. The minions were only being mind controlled, they had to be innocent, right? Right?

Arhiyara was having fun now. Sure, she was annoyed at the same time, and sure, there were a hundred little imps trying to tear into her impervious diamond-hard hide, but Arhiyara was having fun. Why?

It was raining her most favourite food.

"CALAMARI RIIIIIINGS!" Arhiyara's twin heads rejoiced in a roar as a kraken, two tentacles pinned under the dragon's claws, struggled frantically to get away from the terrifying abomination that was Arhiyara. While flying pirahnas and airborne squids and strange underwater creatures tried to assault Arhiyara from either side, the double-headed dragon's heads jerked down and closed around the kraken's flailing tentacles, tearing one off and munching it down.

The kraken, unwilling to not have any say in whether it wanted to keep its limbs or not, flailed wildly and heaved itself up and down in a futile effort to escape.

And flung itself right into the path of the grey spatter of grenades coming Arhiyara's way.

There was a high-pitched whine of pain as the kraken experienced agony on a whole new level as the soul grenades impacted the gigantic squid's soul. It stopped struggling, lying limp as Arhiyara feasted on the other tentacles.

Arhiyara stopped when her prey stopped struggling. She was puzzled. Something was terribly wrong, and she didn't know what. Then it was as if a lightbulb went off in her heads.

As some imps ran around screaming and on fire, they suddenly found themselves lifted up in the jaws of Arhiyara's twin heads. The dragon used them to subsequently fry parts of the Kraken's severed limbs before tossing them aside like used garbage and resuming eating.

That's when one head suddenly remembered about the fight. She lifted her head up, and spied Renee struggling away from imps and seafood alike. With a nudge to her other busy head, she reoriented her body properly.

"I think we should get rid of her before eating some more, eh?"
"Agreed. Let's."

Amidst the slippery paint-sludge floor and bits of kraken, Arhiyara scrabbled forward, gaining momentum and speed as she lunged for Renee.

~~~~

Drawing herself to their full height, Bizzarhiyara, Love Incarnate, struck an impressive pose, and a spotlight seemed to focus upon her from an invisible light above. Her eyes - sparkling with justice and love - narrowed as they saw the oncoming, flying fungus trolls being flung by Ethilvra, the epitome of what she stood against. For a moment, everything froze as Arhiyara went into Anime Space(tm Phil_).

"You have disturbed the peace and love of this world. You have destroyed the ties between your loved ones and your friends, and for this; You. Must. PAY!"

Tails lashing, armour gleaming, feathers whirling, the air blurred around her and lines flew to indicate speed as Arhiyara soared forward, announcing her attack.

"BREATH OF PEACEFUL SLUMBER!"

A spray of blue-white light exploded from Arhiyara's twin mouths, splattering fungus trolls and anything within vicinity alike with its strange, shimmering substance. The fungus trolls looked confused, then peacefull, then...

There was an audible thump as one by one, the fungus trolls all collapsed, a peaceful smile on their ugly, dreaming faces.

And he is alive. Barely.
 

“I swear to Pyros, how did I get talked into this?” The Wizard said as he vigorously scrubbed the floor. Over the long days and nights working at the Kurosen building, he had got into a habit of talking to himself. Well, to be perfectly fair, he’s ALWAYS had a habit of talking to himself. Just now it was a bit more verbal.

“I guess my therapist was right, God does hate me.”

The Wizard perked up his ears. They slowly waved back and forth, trying to locate the position of the incoming footsteps. Ever since he got employed at the Kurosen tower, his physical senses had increased in proficiency, giving him a much greater sense of smell, sight, feeling, taste, and hearing.

“Oh and of course, here people come. People with their muddy boots and stinky hats, messing up the floor I worked so hard to clean. Making me work like a goddamn slave. The first person that comes through that door, I’m gonna wring their little neck.” Like you wringed the Fifth’s neck? “Quiet, I haven’t gotten a chance yet.”

A waft of tropical air washed through the Wizard’s nostrils, distracting him. He took a few more sniffs, but before he could pinpoint the source, the people arrived in the room. Without thinking, the Wizard stretched out his arms, with intent to strangle the first person he saw dead. He was taken by surprise when the person answered him in kind. Well, didn’t strangle his neck as much as wrap his arms around the Wizard’s body.

"How ya been, buddy? Fifth ever remember to feed you? He's never been the best with janitors..."

The Wizard jumped a little, taken by surprise. He managed to get out a little, “Hey Fenris,” and pat Fenris on the back with his wings before being overwhelmed. Time passed exponentially faster, and the next thing he noticed a hat was on his head.

“Huh… this hat stinks of bear.”, he said aloud.

Incendius tried to talk to him telepathically, but before he could respond he remembered…

"Wow. I guess being a triple-personalitied wizard just doesn't pay the bills like it used to, hm?"

Still speaking his thoughts, the Wizard said, “Damn Mauve breaking my thoughts.”

He turned his attention to Mauve, and cocked his head a little to the side at her… new equipment. He grinned, “I guess being a little girly mage doesn’t pay like it used to either. But I mean… I get told that I can get a good job at the Kurosen building… and some small print gets me stuck doing this. I’m being treated like a frippin’ slave, I mean look!”

The Wizard grabs his left sleeve and pulls it up. On his wrist is a golden bracelet, glittering faintly in the light. Starting up again, the Wizard says frantically, “Y’know what this does? This blocks my magic. No magic? Anti-matter guns? No way out! I get no leave, barely any food to survive. I couldn’t even enter the tournament!”

After catching his breath, he looks at Mauve and says a little sadly, “To be honest, I wanted to fight you. But it looks like I’m not gonna get that chance.”

Hey. HEY! Didn’t you say something about killing the first person who walked through that door? Still speaking his thoughts aloud, the Wizard stared into space and said in a bored voice, “So I lied.”

Hey, dude, lying is a sin y’know. Thou shalt not lie and all that, dude. This time a little annoyed, the Wizard said, “And it’s also said that ‘thou shalt not kill.’ So please just-”

But the Wizard was interrupted. The tropical smell had been drifting through the air this entire time, and he was starting to figure out what it was. Or at least what it smelled like.

“Blueberries? Lemons? Strawberries? What the hell?”

"So you could only work as a janitor here?" Bunny Girl Bishoujo asked the Wizard. "Gee...I mean, you'd think they'd give an NPFer a cushier job, like sitting in a leather chair, playing Nintendo DS or something while pretending to pay attention to the security monitors you're supposed to be watching for signs of intrusion."

Actually, maybe he had that job and now that the Tower's been completely invaded he's been demoted, Armored thought sourly. She could then smell what Wizard was smelling. She hadn't eaten in a good while, and it reminded her that she was pretty hungry.

“Blueberries? Lemons? Strawberries? What the hell?”

As the NPFers noticed the sweet smells filling the room, the door behind them to the stairs slid shut and locked with a click that echoed through the circular chamber. A second later, several holes in the ceiling opened, from which large spouts were lowered. A sticky glob of red slime dripped out of one of the spouts onto Newb's hen, enveloping and setting the bird aflame as it fed.

More blobs fell to the ground, the fiery red ones joined by icy blue and electric yellow versions. Rei surrounded the NPFers with her shield bubble, at which point the yellow slime creatures began draining energy away from the electromagnetic forcefield.

"Jam!" Rei informed the group as she did her best to put more energy into the shield, "They're truly outrageous! Truly, truly, truly outrageous!"

"Jam elementals with an extra element tacked on? Oh dear. I can only think of one thing that the three of us can do that would be any use here. You two good on mana?" "I'm down to half." "I only cast the one spell." "Good enough. Recall the Penultimatum shockwave? Let's try something like that again, but this time... well, everybody knows that pants make excellent napkins when your hands get all messy, so why don't we summon up something appropriate?"

The three Keymen stood facing each other, the tips of their keyblades meeting to form a triangle. "PANTS DEMON!"

The ground between them bubbled oddly, then vanished. Red and Green looked about in confusion as Blue stared outside the shield at one of the boxes.

The box promptly exploded, revealing what could only be described as some mad piece of modern art constructed entirely out of many pairs of pants taken from a large and tall store, then all sewn together and afterwards given some semblance of life.

The strange creature walked on eight legs, had four more pretending to be arms, and a further two which each thought they were a neck ending directly in a mouth and avoiding all the other messy bits of a normal head.

It promptly charged one of the jam clusters, intent upon wiping them up.

IC was getting really annoyed. He had killed what felt like hundreds of noobs and lurkers, and if he counted right 27 flamers. So he was kind of standing waste deep in human body parts and blood. It didn't help quite a few of the corpses were on fire, and that 17 longswords and 13 spears he had stolen from flamers had already broken.

Then IC realized something, if he killed that bear, the fight would be over and they would get him out of here. Luckily the mountain of bodies was slowing the progress of the noobs greatly, so IC had time to take another spear, and hurl it at the bear.

And with a mighty roar, Spider-Bear caught IC's spear with its web and slung it into the flamer behind it, then whipped the webbing back toward IC, which snapped free as the flire burned through the threads. As the fiery corpse hurtled toward its target, the bear fired off a net-like web toward IC in an attempt to capture him.

"Damnit just die already!" IC shouted, really really pissed off. He grabbed a random corpse, and hurled it, knocking the flaming webbed corpse away from him. "Comon bear what else do you got!" IC shouted at him, then turned to face him in time to see the web hit him. So now IC found himself covered in a very sticky net. IC walked, muscling through the net, making it snap in places, so all it did was make IC sticky.

So IC grabbed another corpse, and started spinning it on a strand of stickiness on IC. He spun it quite a few times, until finally it snapped and it went at the bear, having a lot more force than that spear he threw earlier. After hurling it, IC picked up a broken peice of a longsword, and started cutting the web off of him.

Catching the flung corpse with another webbed net, the path between IC and the bear was once again temporarily blocked, inspiring the bear to navigate back through the halls to find another plan of attack. And so, Spider-Bear swung off into the shadows of the old Mashirosen tower....


Rei couldn't keep the shield up any longer. The lemon jams were draining too much energy off it, which in turn was making them stronger. Dropping the forcefield, the andoid attempted to focus as much electromagnetic energy as she could and began firing concentrated bolts at the strawberries and blueberries, trying to do as much damage to the oncoming sea of jam that she could.

The shield down, the system controlling the jams pinpointed the Keymen as the summoner of the pants and targeted them, causing several of the jams to combine their powers and attack.

DOUBLE TECH: FREEZERBURN!

DOUBLE TECH: FLASHFIRE!

DOUBLE TECH: SNOWBALL LIGHTNING!

The attacks played havoc on the Keymen's bodies at the molecular level. Red quickly froze solid and shattered as the high voltage coursed through him, and the combination of fire and lightning caused Green to totally combust.


"I have returned, after a long and arduous training in the hidden mountains of Redpeak under the tutelage of the mysterious master swordsman Pepperjack, to reclaim my honor! Bruticus! Fight me, and feel pain!"

It was at that point that Bruticus promptly shot this incarnation of Pyros in the leg. Again.

Ecurt smiled. "Oh, I know how to kill flans!"

"...it's Jam."

"Whatever! You two, go forth and bust a cap!"'

Ecurt was suddenly aware of a tug at his leg. Looking down, he saw the Pyros plushie, looking at him innocently.

"What?" He asked.


"I drew picture!" the plushie grinned, holding up an extremely graphic picture drawn in crayon that depicted Ecurt getting his heart ripped out and eaten by a woman in a red persian garb.

Ecurt did not even bother to redeem him with a reply, and simply hurled him toward at the oncoming Jams.

"Alright, fire attack the blue ones, ice attack the red ones! We'll worry about the yellow ones later!"

"Sure."
"Magikarp USE splash!"

CelGal immediately blasted the nearest fire Jam with intense cold, with the opposing elements canceling each other out and leaving the squishy creature a mere blueberry flavored puddle on the ground.

Pyros Plushie was enveloped by a blue Jam upon landing, however the being quickly found the plushie undigestable. Especially when the plushie melted him from the inside.

***

Ethilvira saw the attack coming and shot toward Phoenixbot, catching her Nemesis with her own large chest and bumping her away.

"Foolish girl, a villainess is only as powerful as her bustline! Now my minions, go and...Oh dear. You're sleeping on the job! How could you? Fine. Fine. I'll just do this MYSELF!"

A large swath of black tentacles came together to form a giant black paddle, that just oozed with yucky badness.

"Now MahouNeko Phoenixbot, let's see if your 'truth and justice and shopping' can stand up to my GIANT PADDLE OF UNRELENTING NEGATIVITY! (WITH A POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECT OF KINKY)"

Ethilvira readied up her attack and prepared to bring her grandiose weapon down upon the defenseless Phoenixbot. However, in creating the giant weapon, she'd used up alot of her tentacles, and as a result had left her own body equally undefended....

***

Pyros did not heed his leg. "Tis naught but a scratch! Especially when I've survived a bubble devoid of all oxygen, getting speared in the chest by a giant poisonous scorpion form of my worst enemy, and the previous time you shot me!"

Pyros limped with a wounded leg at a dangerous pace towards Bruticus, with a lunging(limping?) strike.

Nikose dug around in his pouch, and then pulled out a pair of spoons, and handed one to Fenris. "It's eat or be eaten." He shrugged, and lunged at Lemon. "My Favourite!" And promptly began to eat the lemon jams.

"Damn, and me without a flamethrower or freezer gun. I don't stand a chance against those things."

Then she saw Nikose's tactic. Looking back at the jams, Armored took a moment to ponder a cosplay with which to battle using the same means. The Body Builder had the strongest stomach for eating lots of jams out of all of them, but Armored didn't like the idea of consuming monsters that were still alive. Thinking a little more, Armored came up with a form she could use on the blue jams at least.

"Engage the BUTTSECKS! Transform!"
Armored transformed from Bunny Girl Bishoujo to Mecha Girl Bishoujo in a simple magical girl transformation sequence that involved lots of light and cool CGI that tore away her bunny girl costume and almost completely incased her body in sleek, shiny cyborg armor. After the sequence was complete, Armored targeted the nearest blue jam and let him have some laser eye beam action. Another blue jam tried to jump her, but was thrown back against the wall by a well timed knee missile that detonated, leaving a black sunburst marking on the otherwise undamaged wall. "Sorry, Wizard." Armored apologized. "But look on the bright side: you'll have plenty of overtime hours."
Unfortunately, she didn't have any cosplays that used ice elemental attacks, and the only tactic she could think of would be to transform into the Body Builder and try out that cosplay's iron stomach.

"This certainly is a big round room", Hawk observed dryly as he entered the chamber, casting a glance around the room for any hostilities. He ignored the Friends Reunited meeting that then took place, apparantly quite a few of these guys knew the janitor here, and instead waited patiently for them to move on.

But there was no time to move on, as then various blobs of elemental stickiness fell from the ceiling.

Just who the FUCK developed this security system?!, he thought to himself with bewilderment. Never, in all of time and space, has so much wierd shit happened to me than with the NPF.

"Hmm, flans eh?," he muttered to himself, trying to get focused on the attacking forces rather than the insanity of this building.

"Jam," REI informed them all. Whatever, you say tomAto I say tomato.

From what he remembered of flans they were magic casters, highly resistant to physical damage but highly vulnerable to opposing elements. His guns were probably going to be hugely ineffective against them but it was worth testing that theory first and foremost. Hawk drew his Warbringer and held down the trigger, raking shots across the flans before him. The 9mm bullets pounded into them and blew away small chunks, but they quickly reformed and began moving in Hawks direction, suddenly aggro'd by his attack.

Seeing the attack fail Hawk began slowly walking backwards, switching his Warbringer out for his Peacemaker and firing two 45. rounds into the nearest jam. The red jam staggered backwards from the first shot and the second blew it apart but within seconds it began to repair itself. Well there goes that idea. Guns were no more use here and Hawk had only one defence against what had now become a very pissed off fire flan. He holstered his gun and transformed. And not a moment too soon, no sooner had he become his cursed form than the flan and several of its kin attacked, launching fireballs and a couple of ice blasts but fortunately no lightning bolts were forthcoming. Using his air control Hawk quickly moved himself out of the path of most of the incoming projectiles and fired off an airblast at the last fireball that headed his way. The two attacks connected in mid-air and cancelled each other out with a WHOOMPF, scorching the nice clean floor as they did so.

TWID was gona have a hell of a clean up job after this one.