Money

What is your favorite alcoholic drink?

The Title™ of a Beverage.
 

Dr. McGillicuddy's Menthol Mint Schnapps. It cures what ales me... :P

Why do you hate the taste of medicine?

Because I am undead and its healing powers actually drastically reduce my hit points.

So, Americans, how much of this country do you plan on making explode today in celebration of Independence Day?

An Independent Title™
 

I believe 75% would be a passing grade.

Why are you working today?

Because I need the money

How does the russian reversal work? ><

In America, you say phrase.
In Soviet Russia, phrase says YOU!

Monkeys with swords vs bananna people with machineguns and flamethrowers- Who wins?

Monkeys, for sure.

Whats your record in sleeping?

80 hours, but that was after surgery.

Why the fuck can you still buy straight-blades for shaving?

Because zig-zag blades don't work very well.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I would have to say beef-flavored rice with sour cream. It's awesome.

If you had an oppurtunity to bitch-slap either Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton, which would it be?