"I am here to educate you about the single biggest threat to our planet. You see, there is something out there which threatens our very existence and may be the end to the human race as we know it. I'm talking, of course, about Manbearpig. It is a creature which roams the Earth alone. It is half man, half bear, and half pig. Some people say that Manbearpig isn't real. Well, I'm here to tell you now, Manbearpig is very real, and he most certainly exists. I'm serial. Manbearpig doesn't care who you are or what you've done. Manbearpig simply wants to get you. I'm super serial. But have no fear because I am here to save you. And someday, when the world is rid of Manbearpig, everyone will say, 'Thank you Al Gore! You're super awesome!' The end."-probably my favorite passage from South Park.

And now a quote from Curb your Enthusiasm-

-"THERE IS NO FUCKING TOOTH FAIRY!" Ah, Larry David, where would I be without you?

Speaking of favorite lines, I have a question, "Conan, what is best in life?"

"So... i notice your house smells of feces. And not just HUMAN feces."
-Homer Simpson

"I want to learn how to blow shit up with my mind."
-Crazy guy from Accepted

Awww, MB you dropped the ball!

Come on, we need atleast one Beast Wars quote
"aww what horrible pain. I think I'll deepen it."
-Rampage

Some of my favourites one-liners:

Milhouse, baby! Lionel Hutz, your lawyer, agent, bodyguard, unauthorized biographer, and drug dealer...er...keeper-awayer. Lionel Hutz, The Simpsons

Hold that life boat! I have a heart condition... and I'm a woman! Bill MacNiel, Newsradio

Dames are a lot like a jar of mustard. But when you don't use them, they just sit there... on the shelf... in a jar... labelled... mustard. Space Ghost, Space Ghost Coast to Coast

And now for some exchanges:

Sealab 2021
Murphy : Marduk? Who's that?
Stormy : Marduk, son of Ia, slayer of Tiamat.
Marco : Marduk rules.
Murphy : He totally does.
Debbie : I want Marduk, slayer of Tiamat, to dwell inside me!
Stormy : Marduk desires not your desicated viscera.
Murphy : He totally doesn't.

Curb your Enthusiasm (could be considered offensive)
Counselor : Could you state your name, sir?
Larry : Larry David.
Counselor : Have you ever served on a jury before?
Larry : No.
Counselor : Is there any reason you can think of that you'd not be able to decide this case impartially?
Larry : I don't know if I could be impartial, given that the defendant is a negro.
(Shocked silence)
Larry : Problem?

The Venture Brothers
Priest : Give me the hand of Osiris!
Dr. Venture : Give me head.
Priest : You didn't just say that.
Dr. Venture : I did. Now deal with it.
Priest : I'm going to kill your kids now, you realize that right?
Dr. Venture : Meh, get in line.

Another Beast Wars quote (from an early episode). I love it because of its sheer trying-to-sound-hip-ness.

"WHOA! Shift your scanners to east, there, fellas! This party's got BIG TIME CRASHERS!" -Ratrap (From where Optimus and Dinobot fight in the 2nd or 3rd episode)

This one from FF8:

Zell: Can I see your gunblade?
Squall: No.
http://fromearth.net/LetsPlay/FF8/Up...FVIII-0024.jpg I got this from here, which has a bunch of other favourite quotes of mine. Just found it in this last edit!
That's probably misquoted somehow (I played that part a long time ago) but I love his use of "scrooge".

"I couldn't think as slow as you if I tried," ~the Rat (The Core)

From Ghosts of Onyx, by Eric Nylund.

Kelly took three sidesteps as the ground where she had been standing vaporized. Globules of molten rock spattered off her MJOLNIR armor's energy shield.

She made an ancient and arcane gesture at the machine with one finger.

Mark joined Holly and Kurt. "No way," he breathed. ~Fin


From Donnerjack, by Roger Zelazny and Jane Lindskold.

Death's grin was skeletal, without humor. "His strengths are not the magical powers discovered in the time of need by a hero in a fable, nor are they deus ex machina so honored by the earliest playwrights, but they are strengths nonetheless,"

"I want them buried in ant hills, their bodies smeared with honey," Charles Emerson Winchester III (MASH).

I've got more, but that's all I can think of for now.

Raphael:"You guys must be studying from the 'Abridged Book of Ninja Fighting'. I mean c'mon how do you guys expect to beat me?"
*Ninjas begin circling around Raph*
Raphael:"Good answer. Good answer."
~Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

In that vein,
Steel is strong but flesh is stronger! What is the sword compared to the hand that wields it?

Contemplate this on the tree of woe.