From the film Last Night:

It's, at best, a few hours before the end of the world. The character, Duncan, had planned to commit suicide before the end. A home intruder is advancing on Duncan with a gun and the clear intent to kill him (for no reason):

Duncan: "I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of what you can do. You're the one who's afraid. You're the one who's afraid."

2, from Big Trouble:

"There's no rule that says I can't come over here and fart in your entree. But it just isn't good manners." ~Henry Desalvo, played by Dennis Farina

"Listen, are you going to help me, or are you just going to sit there and be a big, fat, stupid asshole?" ~ Officer Walter Kramitz, played be Pat Warburton


And an old favorite from Stargate: SG-1:

"I hope you like Guinness, sir. I find it's a perfect substitute for... food." ~Col. Jack O'Neill

Not necessarily for its comedic value but it did make some realizations to me about life.

Nothing Worth having in this world comes easy. -Dr. Bob Kelso, Scrubs

"ibbity ibbity ibbity That's all, Folks!"