The Warring States of NPF - I should have kept my mouth shut

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I should have kept my mouth shut

So my mom e-mailed me one of those annoying chain e-mails about how great it was to grow up in their time:

Code-ed because it's long and annoying:

Code:

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930s, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!



First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.



They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.



Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.



As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.



Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.



We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.



We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!



We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.



No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.



We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.



We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms........

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!



We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.



We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.



We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.



We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!



Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!



The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!



These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!



The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!



If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!



You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

And the smart-ass side of me couldn't help but reply with "Are you implying that I have no friends, don't go outside, etc etc etc"
Now I'm wondering if my mom will take my response as a joke, or as the smart-ass that I was being... Hopefully the former.

Which inspired me for this thread:

What are some of the times that you couldn't help but open your mouth and be a smartass to your parents (or anyone) and immediately regretted it? (or shortly regretted it after your parents got through with you)

I generally don't have a smart mouth when talking to my mom, but I do have a poignant sense of humor and wicked sense of irony that sometimes gets mixed with my unique perception of the world. So, while I generally don't actually do any talking back to anyone, I do say some things that might come off that way. Sometimes people think it's funny, sometimes not.

Like we hired her work friend's sons' company to do our lawn, and had this conversation last night:

me, hearing lawn mower: "Oh, they're doing our lawn. Did they actually come on their own this time?"
my mom: "No. I had to call and complain again."
me: "I take it you won't be investing in their services again? You can nag me and Philip for free."
my mom: *laughs* "You're getting some good insight in your old age."

So, yeah. That just happened to be a time she took it well. Other times, things like that have prompted lectures and guilt trips and all other manner of parental speeches.

Me, I'd probably respond with something like...

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1,300s , 1,400s , 1,500s and the 1,600s

First, we didn't get stabbed by any of those vikings running around killing and stealing for no real reason.

Then after that trauma, we had the black death running around wiping out a good chunk of the population of europe.

As infants and Children we would ride in carriges without carrige seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Not getting stabbed in the face was always a special treat.

We drank water from the town well and NOT from a garden hose.

We fell out of trees, got stabbed in the face, broke bones and teeth and had our blood drained in an attempt to cure the common cold.
there were no lawsuits from these accidents/malpractices

Ext, Ext.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CelesJessa

What are some of the times that you couldn't help but open your mouth and be a smartass to your parents (or anyone) and immediately regretted it? (or shortly regretted it after your parents got through with you)

Continually since the age of about 12, though it's long past since any time I actually regretted it. I think my response to my mom if she sent me that email would have been along the lines of "Wow Mom, what on earth posessed you to send me that incredibly stupid and obnoxious email, seriously why would you do that?" and then lay out every single thing wrong with that incredibly idiotic little missive. But you know, that's just the way we do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

I would want to do that too, but there's this whole thing about how I want to go home this weekend to go to the fair and see my friends and I have no transportation of my own... so I really don't want to anger my mom right now. ^^

Although I have done something of a similar vein to my grandma. It wasn't an obnoxious chain letter, but she was regularly bugging everyone with e-mails about "you shut me out of your lives!" "why don't you e-mail me?" "wah poor me" and I got sick of it and said something along the lines of "Maybe there's a REASON we don't talk to you."

I'm a bad kid.

I'm just saying, if your mom's sending you lametarded chain emails you're practically obligated to at least tell her hey mom, maybe the reason all your friends turned out fine in spite of the lead paint and in-utero carcinogens is because all the kids who didn't fuckin' died! Or lived and they got shuffled off into the special-ed classes cause they were fuckin' retarded cause of birth defects!

I mean I don't mean to harsh on your moms or nothing that's just kind of a horrible thing to go around sending to people. That's what drives me nuts about these kind of corn-pone platitudes, scratch the surface and you find what amounts to a sort of cruel and mocking dismissal for the suffering and tragedies of real human beings.

But whatever at this point I'm just hijacking your thread. Carry on with the embarrasing faux-pas and such, pay my embittered ravings no mind.

That's a pretty obnoxious e-mail but I'm sure your mom just thought it was something silly and amusing. I doubt many people would take it to heart.

It does remind me of this one article I was reading about how younger and younger kids are getting cell phones nowadays, so they're continually in touch with their parents. While this isn't the case with everyone, I know a few parents who monitor their child's every move. When these kids finally grow up and find themselves in college they get a taste of freedom and start binge drinking and things like that. According to the article, in the last five years there's been a spike in the number of students seeking help because of things like anxiety. Statistics can be skewed, of course, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. *shrug*

As for lead poisoning... anyone notice the number of autism diagnoses increasing drastically? And that recent Mattel recall... Lead poisoning mimics autism. Hmmm... :P

Edit: Also, as for bailing kids out of jail... I have this one co-worker who's just 17 and was arrested for DUI the other day. She wasn't just sitting in her car drunk, she was actually driving with a blood alcohol level of 0.3 (the legal limit is .08, at least in Canada). She got her car back after a couple weeks and soon she's going on vacation with her mom to Cuba. I mean, what the hell? I would be very upset if my kid was driving drunk and I doubt I'd take them to Cuba after that (let alone give them permission to drive) even if it meant all the effort that goes into planning a vacation would get wasted. I certainly don't know her home situation, but I don't think she's lacking any parental love or anything, she's just someone who likes to party... >_<

I say smartass things to my mom all the time and immediately regret it. It happens way to often now to think up a specific one. I generally just smile afterward and try to pass it off as a joke.

Edit: "No chatrooms... we had friends..." Dont' you kind of almost need friends for chatrooms to make any sense at all?

Angry post deleted. :D
Anyways, I would not be keen on an email like this. At all.

I am a smart ass and just like Mondt, I rarely remember specific occurences, but a couple days ago I was screwing around with my girlfriend and said (and I quote): Hey, ummm Eliza, I dont want to start anything, but I really wanted your opinion on this. Suppose, I found someone else, who lived here (we hae a long distance thing going on, since i moved) and I thought I was in love? Would you ever forgive me?

I then told her I was joking and stuff and laughed my ass off, but then I realized she was crying.

To say the least I felt like a slight jerk.