I am a shitty friend. And why drugs are bad.
 

Ok, so turns out I am the WORST friend in the history of bad friends.
I was asked by the family of, who *I* thought, was a good friend of mine to come to their house today at like 7am. Weird, but ok. Something must be up.

They are planning an Intervention!
I was so oblivious to my friends addiction to cocaine that I didn't even know they were DOING it.. let alone too much of it.
Turns out he'd actually been hospitalized for it a few years ago, before we met, and nearly died. He supposedly went clean afterwards.
Well, I guess he slipped, and his sister found out a few days ago that he was back at it, and possibly for some time.

They confronted him at first about it, and I guess he flipped out on everyone and took off. He' staying at ANOTHER friends house right now.

Drugs SUCK, and I am a shitty friend. Way to start Thanksgiving, life!

Wait a damn second. Just because you weren't aware of your friend's drug addiction which he didn't tell you about doesn't mean you're a bad friend. And don't let the fact that he didn't tell you break your relationship. According to you, his sister didn't even know about it until a few days ago. Maybe he was concerned that he might hurt you, or maybe he's so deeply entrenched in his addiction that he didn't want anyone trying to convince him out of it. In a way, it shows that he knows you care about him.

If he's one of your best friends, maybe you should confront him about it. It's dangerous to keep a drug addiction a secret and, believe me, you will feel shitty when something horrible happens and you regret you did nothing about it.

Torque, you're not a shitty friend. Oblivious to what was probably a well-hidden drug addiction, perhaps, but not a shitty friend. It's not like we're all drilled to look for the signs of mental illness, alcoholism, and drug addiction 24/7. It's also entirely possible that he flipped out because he's not doing drugs and his family's just paranoid because he's done them before--did they have any concrete evidence that he was back to using?

If your friend truly is battling a drug addiction, he needs good, supportive, non-enabling friends to be there for him to help him conquer his habit for good. The fact that you give a damn about his health and safety says a lot about the value you place on his friendship.

Yeah, she found the drugs apparently. Dunno where, but that's how she found out.
And I'm only upset that I had ABSOLUTELY no clue. not even a hint. I mean I was more shocked than anything else, and more than willing to help him out. But I was like "DAmn, where the hell was I?!"
I've known other drug users in the past, but it's never been so UNobvious as this.

Okay, then. That still doesn't make you a bad friend. A bad friend would be buying his drugs for him and telling him that he doesn't have a problem. What can you do to help him now?

Well, what his family wants me to do is basically as you said. Not enable.
They're very adamantly against drugs, so this is basically a "the drugs stop now, or you have no more family and friends" kind of thing.
Cold Turkey, rehab, all of it. My job is to help back up his family.

Hey man, you're not a Sage... you're only human, just like your friend... problem is that he has a problem that he dosent belive it's a problem...

Think about it... why do you think he went to this particular friends house when the Intervention didnt work? Not sayin gthat this friend is also a drug user... but he trusts this guy...

As far as i can tell... HE is not a good friend with YOU... evenDrug addicts tell about their habits to peopel they trust and care... afterall, they still have human feelings...

So, if you care for him (as you clearly do) you dont have to take the front seat on this... just backup all the other people that care for him and be there for him, there only som much you can do... so do as much as you can.

OK, so I don't think random reassurance really helps in a situation like this, so I ask: what are you going to do?

I mean, not what have you been asked to do, or necessarily what you want to do, but going to do. It's a fairly important question, simply because waiting it out is the easiest and usually a friendship-hurting scenario. If he's run away from his family for it, friends aren't necessarily the most important thing to him, y'know?

I'd say figure out how to replace the high with something - be proactive. Encourage elated states, figure out what motivates him elsewise, etc. Lotsa friggin' work, but I always thought it a better option than "it's either it or me." I think this also might mean making your friend mad on several occasions - not something necessarily easy to do. If you can figure out how to help him be happy from time to time (accomplishment), then that chemical imbalance will moderate itself to a more acceptable place, given he is motivated enough to try and quit.

Drugs are bad.
As for the friend thing, let's be friends for a while and I'll judge you for myself.
Please... by my friend? Anybody?

...
...
... me lonely...

Well, I'm 100% against drug use, no question. And the intervention hasn't happened YET, this morning was simply his family telling me what they wanted, and needed.
What *I* am personally going to do is back them up. If they give him the option, and he turns down the help I can't be there to back HIM up, because I think that's being an enabler.
But if he takes the help, then certainly I'd like him to find something else.
Personally, I've been trying to get him to buy a car for MONTHS now. Not just a to-and-from vehicle, but something he can make into a project.
Not for any other reason, than I love cars, and think EVERYONE should, but that's just me.
Now I have an even bigger reason to try and get him to do it.