Best way to crash a party?
 

Okay, so, a bunch of godamn teens are gonna be partying in the gravle pits of Bird's Hill, which just so happens to be my back yard. Now, I dont want a bunch of drunk, stones teens littering everywhere and havin sex on my lawn, so Im gonna crash it. I was thinking a riding my grandpas riding mower into that bitch, whist firing a painball gun at the young people. Anyone know of a baetter way, other then calling the police?

You're on the right track, whatever you do, agricultural machinery should definitely be involved. See if you can find a combine harvester. I'm sure the majority will get away with barely a scratch.

Well, my grandpa used to be a farmer, back in "Old Country" (except by that, I mean he just lived in another part of Winnipeg, before it was urbanized, he talks about Old Country a lot) so Im sure he has lots of fun stuff to work with.

Shotguns and Nines.

Rock Salt bullets,

Do the math.

Barb'd wire
you can't go wrong with lots of barbed wire.
And a tesla coil to throw lightning at them.
: )

Cockslapping.

No not that, I mean with actual roosters.

They'll never see it coming.

You'd be amazed as to how little sex actually goes on in these things. Its not all that TV makes it out to be.

Oh and I say you join them instead. Free Beer. Maybe even get lucky. They can't kick you out since it IS your property.

Anyone who has sex in a gravel pit and enjoys it deserves to have it.

But seriously, grievous bodily harm is obviously the only way to conquer this menace.

or you could get some dog poo and put it in a paper bag and light it on fire and leave it on their doorstep except they're not at home I guess so just kinda shuffle over and leave it close by

If you want a party to stop, starting a fight will stop it, few parties are fun once someone has thrown a punch.

But on the peaceful side, If you have a kickass stereo system you could try upping the volume to full and playing something god-awful until they leave.

Spice Girls or Back 'N Synch 8 hour marathon?

Or Mmm'Bop?



Of course, there IS always the police option. That's probably what I'd do if it got out of hand. Otherwise, any harm done to them could get YOU in trouble with the law.