Please have a look at my D&D webcomic!
 

www.freewebs.com/lepermessiahtr/tsw.htm

please have a look at my stick figure styled, Baldur´s Gate plot based webcomic: "The She-Wolf and The goddess"
while the art is obviously an adapted version of OOTS, the topics, setting and jokes are completely unrelated
the story is based on the glorious Baldur´s Gate saga, but of course with lots of changes and additions
one strip takes 6-8 hours to make...

I´m thankful for every comment!

Uh, hm...

Well the comic is hurt very badly by it's unsightly colors - you need to use softer browns and tans and greens instead of bright reds and bright yellows and bright greens.

The dialog is also very clunky - the standard comic reading format goes top-to-bottom and left-to-right. I can't make sense of the dialog as it is.

Also: I don't get most of the jokes. It seems like you're going for the absurd, way-out-there jokes of Monty Python proportions, but it really doesn't mesh well going against the intricate story of Baldur's Gate. Having people change gears every few panels to switch humor styles in a single comic clashes very badly.

I did like one joke of yours: The Paladin and Blackguard guilds sitting next to each other, "Grr". That was pretty funny.

Using the OOTS art style wasn't a bad choice, but it could use more to differentiate from OOTS; consider taking up Photoshop tools to make more straight lines and tamper around with head sizes and body shapes.

Sorry I don't have better news for you, but this comic could really use improvement, and I figure it'd be better to tell you off the bat how to improve instead of just keeping silent.

Your artwork is, quite frankly crude, and unappealing. Not because it is stick figures, but because it's badly polished and unpleasant to look at. The colors aren't especially nice to look at, and many of the people look either wonky or angular. Again, it's not the stick figures it's how you did them.

The Comedy isn't especially good, and it doesn't seem to really have anything to do. (Barring the joke about the side quests, that could have been well done, but it wasn't.)

Also, half the time I'm not sure who talks first try and making that a bit clearer. In any way you want to, just make sure it's consistent.

I think we have some threads laying about on organizing a strip, from text bubbles to keeping your characters straight. I would suggest looking at them and maybe a couple more tutorials, that way you can better convey your ideas to your audience.

To expand on what Demetrius mentioned, I think Your Webcomic Can Still Be Saved offers some useful tips on making one's webcomic easier on the eyes.

Other than that, the other guys have it spot on, I think. The colors are not nice to the eyes; the order in which the dialogue is read needs to be made clearer; and, while starting out with Order of the Stick-esque art isn't a bad idea, frankly, they're not well-realized--the characters have a bunch of smaller flaws that add up to being jarring on the eye, especially compared to the style you've chosen to adapt. And you should definitely start to experiment with character design, to better differentiate your style from that of OotS. While I well understand that you have to start somewhere, the best webcomics develop their own look.

Also, making the "cross-eyed, one-handed, one-legged dwarf elf" Chinese (in comic #4) by exchanging his Rs for Ls didn't quite sit right with me. It's not really that funny, it didn't add anything to the joke you were trying to tell (in fact, in my own opinion the internal rhythm of the joke is improved without it), and if your art and/or writing is such that the only way you can convey "the dwarf elf is also from China" is to rely on an old and tired stereotype, then, well, the art and/or writing needs improvement.

first of all, thanks for your opinions

1. the colours and the dialogue order: ok, I can see your point and I will work on it

2. the crude artwork: yeah, I´m new to drawing and only have crappy software (Photoshop Elements), so that´ll get better with time I hope

3. the jokes: for some of the jokes you need to know movies and stuff (like the guy in the last panel of strip 3 is Pai Mei from Kill Bill 2) but this is also true for 8Bit as you all know; that one can´t find anything funny in the 4 comics is rather unbelievable for me, of course I could explain every joke and why I find it funny...

the rats joke is one of my favourites, it wouldn´t work without the r->l
the words rat and cat sound similar you know?

also, there´s a lot of foreshadowing in the strips, so it is perfectly possible things don´t make sense now but will later, like the personalities of the two main protagonists (don´t ask which two I mean), details are very important and every word can have some secret meaning, at least this is what I am trying to do...

also, who said it should be a funny comic anyway... at least the story will be EPIC (if I don´t lose interest some time :stressed: )

Nonono, see, I think you're missing something, right here:

What story? You have no story yet. You have said it's going to be Baldur's gate which is a story that's already been done. You said it was your own adaptation, okay, that's fine. So far, I can see your jokes, don't get me wrong, but they weren't funny.

Stick Figures can be funny. Stick figures MIGHT be able to tell a good story, when mixed with a good amount of humor. If there's no humor it's going to be a hard sell. When there's no humor and you've admitted it looks pretty crappy, then you need to wow me with SOMETHING to get a good review.

Take the advice listed, think jokes through, clean up your web-page format even- Also don't save in .jpg can help for shitty compression.

Meta-fiction is an excellent source for laughs if you are going to do stick figures.

Also, I can't help but feel bad because I don't really know if all this negative criticism is being thrown at a 12 year old kid who can barely work paint.

Your comic needs work, try to have the characters do things that are easy to represent in comic form, but not boring. There is a balance to it, and practice is the best scale.

I think maybe the story being EPIC was a joke.

Like if I were making a comic about Hercules or something and it got a lot of criticism I'd be like "Heh, yeah. Least the story is epic though, right? Haha."

But yeah, it's pretty bad as is. The jokes typically need much better set up and delivery, and you should probably work on having less dialog in your speech balloons. Either make more speech balloons in the panel or spread the talking out over several panels. A big speech balloon like most of those comics have is fine every now and then, but it's really kind of overkill. Spacing the text out will make it easier and more enjoyable to read.

I don't think so. To me it seemed to try and borrow alot of ideas from OOTS (such as the DND world and art style looking all cartoony and goofy yet having an epic sprawling story), but was executed entirely differently.

Oh, one thing to keep important: In dialog, you need to have large breaks. Think about it like writing in a story.
"This is how proper formatting goes," he said.
"When you break off each time someone says something new?"
"Yeah," he continued. "You can even do it when the dialog gets extremely bulky and taxing such as in your comic's episode 2. Whenever it breaks off like this in a comic, it looks unsightly.
"So you make a new bubble just to make it look less overwhelming."

May I make a suggestion if you really really want to do comics? Buy this book. It's Scott McCloud's Making Comics, and it details everything that's important to comicing. Yeah I know Penny Arcade riffed him like crazy, but it's an important thing for beginners and artists. He even mentions 8bit Theatre.