Hollywood: turning gold into lead.
 

Ever notice how Hollywood takes all of our old childhood cartoons and tries to make a movie out of them? Now I'll admit, they didn't totally ruin transformers. But what the heck are they trying to pull with THIS!

I mean, seriously. It'll probably be what they tried to do with TMNT, but on crack. Why can't they leave what precious memories we have of our childhood well enough alone?

^ That's because Hollywood is secretly a waste distribution center.

In the previews Alvin eats a turd.

Honestly, I never liked Alvin & the Chipmunks in the first place. It was a shitty annoying cartoon, so I can't get all that upset if they want to make it a shitty annoying movie.

Yeah, but still. Even if it is shitty, do they have to raise it from the grave?

I'd be fine with it if it weren't rap. That's the last thing we need to introduce our kids to.

Aside from that, there have been many Alvin incarnations. It started out as a black and white puppet show segment with a sped-up record, got turned into a very old, but still in color, TV cartoon which you may have seen on Wienerville, and then got redone when I was young into a "hip" new version, added the Chipettes, and re-envisoned it with a more adventurous tone with a band theme. The movie is probably based mostly on the latter. It'll probably be trash, but it's just more trash in a line of trying to attract Gen X-ers feeling the weight of adulthood pressing in.


Next up, Speed Racer.

Sadly, it's coming sooner than you think... :gonk:

Think it'll have long lines of quick uninterrupted speech, long close up scenes, and even a quick "ha-ha!"?

God, I hope so. I refuse to watch it if it doesn't.

LOOPING! It must have insane amounts of computer-sanitized LOOPING!