"Well, you were right about the burning fat thing. I'll call the fire department."
 

I came home today and my girlfriend was busy baking a cake. How nice, I thought and sat down on the table to have dinner. Delicious sandwiches. While eating, I couldn't help but notice the air in the kitchen wasn't quite as crystal clear as it usually was, and there was a certain smoky odour.

:cool: Yours truly
:o her

:cool: So, what's with the fog?
:o Yeah, there must be something in the oven. Probably some crumbs.
:cool: Huh. Never noticed that. We gotta clean that thing out one of these days.

...

:o It might be fat dripping from the cake. It probably drips to the bottom and gets hot.
:cool: ... how long have you been baking that thing, anyway?
:o An hour?
:cool: Huh. So there's fat dripping. Inside the oven. And it's heating up inside, possibly to the point where it could catch on fire?
:o Yup.
:cool: ... okay. If you need me, I'll be over in the living room.

Five minutes later, cue thread title.

If something catches on fire in your oven, close it. If you leave the door open you'll feed the fire with oxygen. Close the door unless you're about to empty an extinguisher into the oven, which probably is an even better idea but we don't have one. Still, with the door closed the fire went out before the guys from the fire department even arrived, and they were quick.

Also, if it's a gas oven, turn off the oven and the main gas for fuck's sake, you have enough problems as it is. Your oven is on fire.

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/9430/burn01we5.jpg

See the gray area? Fat. See the rest of the area? Also fat. Lots of fuel.

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/9961/burn02hg6.jpg

The culprit. This particular kind of cake contains about 400 grams of butter raw, roughly 500 of which melt, leak out and catch on fire during baking.

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7034/burn03ju5.jpg

Some aluminum foil she put underneath the cake that was supposed to catch the leaking fat but did a pretty piss-poor job of it if you ask me.

What irks me most is that I didn't have the presence of mind to quickly get a stick and a sausage. I have failed you, internet.

(>>)

....Did you save the cake?

You mean the cake that has been sitting in butterfat smoke for the better part of an hour?

Yes.

That's not to say it's ruined or anything, it's fine, but I can imagine it's not the healthiest cake in the world. Then again, it probably wasn't to begin with.

wtf you're supposed to use a PAN underneath the cakepan. o_0 And how did it drip butter? It doesn't look like the batter went over the top...

Your girlfriend bakes you a cake and all you can do is sit here and bitch. Just the kind of vicious misanthropy I've come to expect from you, filthy sausage-chomper* that you are. She's too good for you, her and anyone else!



*in case it's not clear this isn't anti-gay bigotry, it's anachronistic anti-German bigotry.

The cakepan apparently isn't as leakproof as it should be.

The cake is actually for her dad's birthday. I wonder who the guests will hear the story from first.

EDIT: Come on fifth that's not anachronistic at all, I mentioned sausages right in the first post.

Probably the fire department.

heh, this is why I kept an oldish baking tray at the bottom of the oven and wash it every month.

I also believe this is why newer cookers are designed that you -have- to keep the door open or it shuts off. Imagine how much fat a grill tray builds up. Now imagine your lovely sausages, browning along nicely, juices bubbling inside when one of them pops a hole and squirts some oil up into your grill to fall down again into the grease build up at the bottom. Watch it light in a nice firey rainbow. It amy not light the fat immediately but it will do eventually...

We need more German epithets, considering they're probably the least liked Europeans.

Yes, I know, the French, but I pretend France separated from Europe out of spite.

When was cake supposed to be healthy, anyway?

Also, it's stories like these which keep me from trying my hand at cooking. That and laziness, I guess, but fear of fire probably trumps apathy.