Bush's Resume
 

I saw this in another forum
__________________________________________
RESUME

George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set the record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I set the the all-time presidential record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
After taking-off the entire month of August, 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S.history.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.
In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration posts than any president in U.S. history.
I set the record for fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of television.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I created the Department of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government .
I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war (detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during the election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
More time and money were spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than have been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate ripoffs in history.
I garnered sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I changed U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Please consider my experience when voting in 2004 - Send this to every voter you know

I've seen that resume around a lot, mostly in all the blogs for the democratic nominees. Slightly off topic but I do belive the Democrats have a more than decent shot at the White House this upcoming election as long as they don't keep shooting themsleves in the foot.

Wow...so, Bush sucks, huh?

[picks up a baseball bat, jaunts over to the dead horse at the side of the road, and starts viciously beating it]

:D

I'd be glad if we could manage to get away from all this 'lesser of two evils' nonsense. I don't give a damn what political affiliation they have, all that matters is what their stance on stuff is, and whether or not they'll follow though.

I think that mostly a result of our voting proceedures. If we had instant runoff voting people would be more willing to vote on their ideology.

Well, at least voter turnout doesn't bite. This report from the census bureau stated that roughly 60% of all eligible citizen voters actually voted in 2000, around 86% of all the registered voters voted.

But... that means that only about half of the country cares enough to vote, and half of that voted for the current president. People say it's not their problem if they don't vote, but I believe in this case, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Of course, as for local and state elections, I don't know if these numbers translate.

This makes me remember a newspaper article I read on Bush a while back. It pointed out a few of the celebrities who were insulting his intelligence and then it compared his academic merits to there’s. I seem to remember it saying that Bush either attended two Ivy League schools, or graduated from two different Ivy League schools; in any case, I have to have some respect for his intelligence as long as he was able to work his way through university. On the other hand, some of the celebrities who were insulting him never graduated from high school; in any case, I find it frustrating how every bloody celebrity in Hollywood ends up being a pundit these days.

Furthermore, I absolutely loath people insulting Bush’s speech. Fine, he’s not an eloquent speaker, but give the man a break. It’s simply bullying to call a person an idiot for having a speech impediment. I have speech problems myself, and it offends me that the media could be immature enough to suppose that these are a reflection of a person’s aptitude. The whole electoral process would be infinitely improved if people were to cease childishly teasing the candidates and focus on relevant political debate.

That being said, I wish Bush were thrown out of office this very second. I don’t think any of these issues involving the War, the economy, environmental degradation, etc. reflect poorly at all on Bush’s intelligence. For all I know Bush could be a brilliant political strategist who meticulously calculates everything to the last detail. I sincerely doubt it, but I’m really impressed with how he’s been able to maintain the approval rating he has given what a wretched president he’s been. Bush is an absolutely repugnant administrator and I find nearly everything he’s done to be absolutely vile. That doesn’t make him stupid, indeed, many villainous tyrants have been quite brilliant. But Bush has the social conscience and the respect for liberty and rights of a dog.

That's assuming that Bush actually won the election. We never will find out the truth, because Al Gore [So boring, he puts himself to sleep] backed out.

...Oh great. Now we're going to have a large discussion about the Miami-Dade screwups. Might as well quote Dave Barry...


SEPTEMBER 2002

. . . when Florida, having learned nothing from history, attempts to hold another election. Everything goes smoothly, with virtually no problems reported -- until the polls open. Then there is chaos, especially in Broward and Miami-Dade counties, which are using new computerized voting machines. Election officials begin to suspect that the system might have been programmed incorrectly when, instead of reporting the vote totals, the machines connect to the Internet and send out 126 million e-mails offering discount Viagra.

add to the resume that he totally forgot his neighbors to the north when tanking the world for all the post "9/11" support.

The problem is that since the dawn of government it has been influenced by rhetoric and speech making: e.g. Kennedy's speaches, The Oration's of Cicero, The Gettysburg Address. Bush doesn't even try. Which is what their point is. He went in to profession where he is not only expected to make speaches, but his performance is based on how charasmatic he is. If you want to see an example of how powerful oration and rhetoric really are look no further than Hitler. The man was more or less able to talk an entire nation into the worst acts ever commited by the human race.