"Assassin's Creed" or the "Screw You, I Just Bought It Thread"
 

So I've been playing it. And before I did, I was really worried that I wasn't going to like it because it apparently had a weird sci-fi backstory. But I did play it. And it does have a weird sci-fi plot. (>>) But they worked it well, so it's all good. Them's the bad news. The good news? I can run after someone who's running away, and stab them in the face with a mechanical switch blade that comes outta my wrist. Yeah. Awesome. (^^)

You play as Desmond LastNameThatICan'tRemember, and you've been kidnapped by a old creepy doctor guy and his hot lab partner. Then you're put into a machine which makes you relive the genetic memory of your assassin ancestor, Altair (All-Tah-Ear) in order to find... the thingy. They don't tell you what the thingy is, but they pull you out regularly for sleep and leg strechy. Oddly, no food or pee pee time is allowed. You can go into the shower, but you can only look - can't touch. (>>)

Anyways, you halfta kill a buncha real mean bad guys - the first guy actually kills someone with a knife. You might say, "Ooh, a knife! Altair has a switchblade!" Well, Altair doesn't slash the guy in the face a bunch, then continue slashing the guy once he's on the ground, then begin to stab the guy, all while the guy's totally like "No! Please! Stop!" And hey, guess what? The whole reason the slashy-stab took place was because the guy was late on a shipment. But don't get it wrong - Assassin's Creed has a lot of fun moments:

"You know what the bible says - 'God helps those who help themselves!'"
"Actually, that was Aesop's Fables. The bible talks more about patience, and 'Good things come to he who waits.'"
'....We've waited long enough.'"

"Altair! I envy you. Well, not being stripped of your rank, not that. And I don't particularly envy what the other assassin;s say behind your back. But aside from the hate and the failure, I envy you."

Anyways, the game has a whole bunch of plot - there's three rules an assassin has to follow - don't kill people who don't deserve it, don't draw attention to the guild, and don't let your enemies know of your intentions until after you kill them. You perform an uberfail in all three things in the beginning, and your assassin master, Al Muyalim (Mu-alim) takes away all your gear and gives you a chance to redeem yourself. By killing more people. So you want all your fancy stuff back and you do it. Because fancy stuff is what being an assassin is all about. You halfta kill these 9 guys who are in positions of power during the Crusades on both sides of the war. They desire peace, but they try to obtain it by hurting their people.

Like - this one guy? He has a big party. Like a really big party. And everyone who comes, gets free wine! Who doesn't like free wine? Anyways, he poisons the wine, and lots of people are dead now. Then he commands archers to kill everyone who didn't drink his magic wine. Then you kill him. But he runs first. He actually runs really fast for a fat guy. And there's these really annoying beggar people that are very verbally hostile. They dance around you lots, saying "I WANT MONIES I WANT MONIES BLAH BLAH BLAH." Well, that's what I think they say. They all say the same thing, too. But aside from the fat people and the beggars, you can totally push people around. If you don't press anything, you'll walk around people. If you hold down this one button, you push people out of the way. If you push another button, you tackle people. Buttons are a big thing - 'cause you push one of the shoulder buttons to open up one way of doing things - counter, break hold; and another shoulder button to gently push people, pick pocket. And you get throwing knives which are pretty awesome - all the side missions? Like going to viewpoints, which are really tall towers that basically fill in a lotta your map, and reveal little side missons like Eavesdropping, Rescuing Citizens, Pick Pocketing and Interrogations - are winable via throwing knives. Okay, not all of them. Rescuing Citizens is fun with 'em though.

Anyways, the point that I'm trying to make is that it's four in the morning, I have to work at seven, and I've stayed up playing Assassin's Creed because I find that it's a really involving game with a good plot and a lot of neat features - I'd highly recommend it to all. So yeah. Booze + Caffeine + Early shift = I need to go to bed and sleep.

A mechanical switchblade that comes from their wristband that they cut off their ring finger to use.

Yeah, despite its repeativness I'm digging it myself. I just wish there was a bit more clear indication of what you can do during the lab cutscenes. Or at least I'd like to know if you could replay those bits without resorting to playing the entire game all over again.

And yet, I don't really want to consult with a FAQ, because I'm afraid it might ruin something for me. I did look back & found out that the passcode I found in the open closet (not much of a secret) opens the door.

Something I didn't bother checking. Hope I didn't miss anything big.

I did manage to grab the good Doctor's Security Pen, while he was drinking coffee, but I've yet to do anything with it.

SWB

I beat it a while ago. I loved it. Very plot-intensive game. If you're in it for awesome swordplay combat and high-intensity MGS style action sequences, it is so not the game for you.

When you finish the game, please please go here. It puts the ending so much more into context and clarity. Be sure you finish the game correctly though (Protip!: After you beat the boss and become Desmond again, go back into the room and look around to get to the credits.)

Finished the game at around 4AM this morning. I Sabrind was by far the hardes guy, just because of the water. Seriously - I play as a guy who can run up a building, use any crack in order to climb to the top, and can silently take out the archer patrolling at the top of said building... but I can't swim?

Anyways, very neat game. I'm waiting for the next two eagerly.

Don't worry, in Assassin's Creed 4: San Andreas Desmond can swim, but going to an area he's not supposed to gets him maximum police rating.

Awww, shoot. Well, if Desmond is there, we all know that Altair got jiggy with it. Where's the Hot Grail mod?

Okay seriously I know we're joking but the idea of Desmond scaling the wall up the Abstergo building to get Lucy, where they drive back to his place and engage in terribly voice-acted screen-shaking bangin' is just fucking terrible.

Haha, I thought exactly the same thing! I got really lucky/unlucky though. The second the Ancestor Memory finished and I was supposed to kill Sibrand, the guards went after me and the whole way as I jumped from boat to boat. I fought so many guards just on Sibrand's boat.

Speaking of guards, fake Robert De Sable's assasination was such a pain in the ass. First, I die three times because archers kill me from afar. Also, I was getting really unlucky and every single one of my counters ended with Altair slapping the guard instead of killing him which sucked. I think that assasination is the only time I've actually ever had my assassination target run after me instead of the other way around! I got two achievements from that, one for surviving more than 10 minutes in one fight, and fighting off 25 guards... So yeah, pain in the ass. Though, I must've fought at least 50 guards on my way to assassination target in Arsuf. Too much fighting, not enough stealthiness involved (or even neccesary). I killed most of my targets by running up to the guy and killing the guards in my way.

But that last battle of the game was intense, and one of my favorites. Just the tone of the fight and the music blasting in the background was just awesome.

So yeah, I can't wait for the sequel, and I hope that they make the gameplay better so it's actually what it was hyped up to be. Also, I'm interested to see how they take this futuristic idea and run with it in the sequel.

The more I play this game, the more it confirms the fact that Creed is a MAJOR RIP-OFF of Broken Sword: Circle of Blood, an old Adventure Game made back in 2002. True, the two games differ greatly, Broken Sword is more of a mystery... , which pits you on a trail of an Assassin, who in turn is thwarting the work of Neo-Templars. The Templars in this story, are seeking out Baphomet, which basically does exactly what the widget that Assassin Creed's Templars group are after.

So while the games differ in presentation, it could be said that a great deal seems to be borrowed from Broken Sword. The age old rivalry between the Assassins & the Templars, as well as the hypnosis item.

SWB