#951: "No, I'd be an idiot to give this up, thanks."
 

Brian loves some third-person shooter he bought for like five dollars and a pack of gum better than he loves you, so I'm making the new comic thread. Only I don't know what this one's actually about because the front page is a delicate geen-ee-us that mustn't be disturbed with little things like updating on time, so uh. Do whatever it is you guys do in here.

No update yet!? WTF RAWR! Meh, I'm up still, I guess I can keep waiting for a bit.

The update script just needed a routine kick in the teeth.

Now I feel bad for all those times I used Life 3 on Mog. D:

The sad thing is that in DnD with the right gear/race you can make a grappler that's constantly on fire and uses that as part of his grappling attacks. Its not the most efficient method of fighting but it is cool. I suspect that may or may not have been the inspiration for this.

I don't know if it's just me, but I've always imagined a certain iota of respect of RM from Thief. Just a tiny little bit.

Sure he uses him as a punching bag now, but he really does otherwise treat him better than he does BM, without the amount of patronizing he does with Fighter.

That's because talking to RM would inevitably lead to an answer, and he doesn't want that.

No, I've gotten that impression before, especially in episodes like this. Then again, I figure any sense of camaraderie within the LW I get is me reading too much into it and not an actual function of the comic.

I'd have thought it's a lot more Fire Shield than Burning Hands.

nothing funnier than people on fire

Children on fire is always funnier than people on fire, I'm just sayin'.

The younger they are, the more hilarious it is when they're on fire.

Not that I'm in any way looking forward to this conclusion, but shouldn't RM be naked by this point? I mean, clothing can burn so much before its nothing in but ashes.

SWB

Gee, like the Light Warriors weren't scarred enough when Black Mage lost his clothes, you have to go and suggest that RM follow suit! You fool! You will unleash naked armageddon upon us all!

I've always suspected this... Especially after he gratuitously killed off Black Belt.

Black Belts death was awesome.

Well, actually, it was an emotional event. Really, my personal belief was that the character just wasn't working, so Brian got rid of him in the manner that would have the most impact. Really, even BM said his personality was too much like Fighter's. Aside from that, the only relevant jokes surrounding him were about his orientation and reality-bending directional dysfunctionality.

Well, his hat has started to burn, so there is a start. But I hope RM is just turned to ashes.

Well, notice how in most games/cartoons/whatnot clothing can get scorched, and won't fall off? I'm guessing similor physics.

Babies are funniest when they're on fire. Especially when you throw them at people.

Level 7 Firebaby? Let me get this straight: you get burned to a crisp, and no one can hear you scream because all they can hear is the damned baby crying? Brutal.

I have a grappler in the works, and my DM won't allow that trick with the fire. Damn. Oh well, he already has too many limbs anyway.

3D4 per turn, Thief. Per turn.

As if the rest of his party actually understands/cares what he's talking about. Doesn't look like Red Mage is in a position to "give up" his immolation anyways.

At the very least you can say that Red Mage certain is optimistic about his current situation! Red Mage is quite possibly a true genius, albeit totally insane.

You know, I wonder why Red Mage never takes revenge against Black Mage. As shown when he iced Black Mage, Red Mage can instantly kill Black Mage if he wished too.

I guess he just isn't vindictive.

He probably invested points into a naivety character flaw to further facilitate his min/maxing. Like Fighter, Red Mage simply refuses to believe that Black Mage would knowingly harm him.

Anybody can kill Black Mage, though. Hell, a stiff breeze...

Plus, being a hero kind of implies being good-aligned, which goes against being a vengeful murderer.

At least until BM leaves the party. Then he probably counts as a villain.

Is Red Mage potentially the strongest being in the universe?
After all, his Ice-9 spell would completely freeze the entire universe apparently.

That particular spell only functioned due to his total lack of regard for the rules of reality, which is what we're seeing again here. He doesn't actually have Ice 9, because it doesn't exist, and it would take more MP than he has, anyway. But by ignoring physics in his elation-induced mania, he was able to bend physics through the sheer force of his belief enough that he accomplished what would otherwise have been impossible. Life 3 has not existed in any FF game I've ever played, possibly excluding 12, since I never got very far in it (but 12 messes with all sorts of stuff). It stands to reason that he may once again be casting a spell that doesn't exist, simply by his belief being so strong as to disregard physics, which is why he was so quick to try to silence the others for correcting him.

Not really. They say that if you get a stadium of people to concentrate on lighting a match in the center, so long as they actually all really concentrate on lighting that match, it will light. The massive amounts of their belief actually causes reality to bend, altering probability to the point where something that some people might call "impossible" actually happens. Science says there is no such thing as a 0% chance of anything, i.e. literally anything is possible, but many things are astronomically improbable. They've also done studies with random number machines and such and found that people really could have an effect on the outcome, provided there were enough of them and/or their belief was strong enough, as with the Shaolin monks.

The point I'm trying to make here is that RM believes so strongly in some of these mad schemes that he alters probability to the point that he breaks the normal rules even worse than normal magic by casting magic that shouldn't even exist.

I believe Life 3 was first introduced in FF6. In FFTactics it was called "ReRaise". Basically it automatically casts Life after your character dies.

Yeah, thats the one RM is casting. It shouldn't exist; you know that and I know that, but he doesn't know that.

That logic can be used for anything! For example, I suspect that Red Mage may or may not stop burning.

Besides, Red Mage is like a mini-Sarda, hes still learning how to bend reality just by willing it. Hes the wizard who's about to do it. :eek:

I have surmised that Red Mage is a baby, most likely due to multi-classing.

He had to sacrifice aging for points in "Turn-About Logistics"

If you think about it, all of the Light Warriors have powers of the gods.

Fighter can't be killed, and can block any attack, Red Mage bends reality to his will, thief can dodge anything and pretty much controls the worlds legal system, and blackmage has the potential to learn any spell, not to mention the planet destroying Hadoken. Seriously, nothing stands a chance agaist these guys.

At least they wouldn't, if they weren't constantly trying to screw each other over.

Don't forget Fighter.

And I thought there was a time that RM lost his clothes, though I am most likely confusing that with a Deborah scenario. Still, maybe it happened, or is yet to happen.