Holiday Heroes: The Mellow Menace
 

The Cupid loved the spring. It was his time to reign. He was in the prone position on top of a gargoile. His cherry red hovercraft behind him. He was looking through the sight of a bolt action sniper rifle. His cross hairs trained on a punk in a leather jacket. The punk was knocking business men aside with a sneer. The cross hairs slowly moved down the punk's chest to res on the bulge in his jeans.

"Pucker up, you Son of a bitch." he said in his continental accent.

He pulled the trigger and watched the bullet strike the man in the crotch. The force of the shot sent him to his knees. his eyes bulging in pain. A nearby Hippie flower girl rushed over to check on the punk. When she reached him he looked up at her, first with a look of anger and pain, then it turned to a look of adoration and unbridled lust. He grabbed the girl and began to makeout with her. First she was upset but then she just went with it.


"Ahh L'amour." he said as he pulled the bolt action releasing the hot brass casing.

Liberty Belle landed next to the hovercraft.

"Cupid we have a problem. Giant Marsmello Peeps are attacking the city."

At that moment a 50 foot tall yellow peep hopped down the road crushing fleeing cars. It stopped and vomited marshmellow goo onto a news stand. It then roared in triumph sounding like Godzilla. Several more soon answered it's call.

"Let us, how you say, roast those surgary bastards." the cupid said flying up to his hovercraft on his small wings. He then patted Liberty Belle on the rear on his way to his heartshaped hovercraft.

Then walking through the city was Dun B.'s egg mech. Firing egg bombs at the beast blinding it and then fired a egg in his mouth. Disableing it from puking.

OOC: Just as a side note, Santa will always talk in third person, a la South Park.

IC: The jingle of reindeer bells filled the air, along with the roar of jet engines, as a giant, streamlined red sleigh decorated with a black flame pattern (hey, Santa needs something to do the other 364 days of the year) bolted through the air toward the city. Santa rubbed his massive belly as the giant yellow puffy monstrosities came into view.

"Santa is supposed to be on a diet to make up for all those cookies... but Santa sure does love marshmallows..."

AD2004 Pulled up next to one of the peeps and said " I guess this is good enough for a special attack. Umm I hope I don't get blamed like the infamous french coincidense' Oh umm need a catchy phrase umm I know! TIME FOR ROASTED MARSHMALLOW! WAVE OF THE AGES!" AD2004 went a little overkill as the peep not fully marshmallow started to smell and stink after being burned although it was now inmobile it was now a smelly problem. That he started "DAMMNIT!" he screamed...

OOC: Is it too late to sign-up? I missed the sign-up thread yesterday and I didn't notice it until just now.

"Giant Peeps roasting on an open fire... Jack Frost's on vacation, though."

Santa dived head first out of the sleigh and started munching through the burnt marshmallow head. The reindeer came loose from their harnesses, and descended on the Peep like dogs out of Hell. Their diet did consist mostly of carrots, after all.

One of the Peeps started to close in on Santa, it was seconds away from snatching up the jolly old elf, when suddenly, it was hit in the side of the head with a shoe!

The Peep looked down to see Joe, standing like an ant before it.

"Hey Lardbutt!" he said. "want a quarter?"

with that he flicked a 25 cent piece up into the air. the Peep reached up to the heavens to grab it... and came down suddenly as Joe uppercutted the sugary blob in the kahonies!

The peep toppled to the ground with a ear pearcing *Squeak*, then lay there wriggling in agony.

Cupid sat in his hovercraft. A bazooka on his shoulder. On the Bazooka were stencil daisies and the word's Monkey Love.

"Eat this candy bastards." Cupid said firing at the pink peep. The rocket hit the peep and bounced off it's sugary hide. It impacted into the IRS building, igniting an orgy of accounting love.

"Why do you not fall into ze love. HEY YOU MOROSE MOTHER ******!!! I SHOOT YOU!!! SHOOT YOU IN ZE ASS WITH LOVE!!! YOU HEARTLESS SUN OF A *****!!!

Pedro, from the construction site, heard an unusually loud cuss word permiate the air around him. An instant later, a giant yellow peep descended upon him while he was still standing on his beam. The giant seasonal delight swiped at him with it's hand and smashed into him with unheard of force. Pedro stuck firmly in the beast's hand as it continued walking, forming a path of destruction.

OOC: Do marshmallow chickens even have 'kahonies'? And 'orgy of accounting love'? Ewww...

IC: Santa and the reindeer continued munching on the chicken until nothing but a few tiny sugary bits remained, then the reindeer galloped off in search of new prey, while Santa hefted his his enormous sack. Shrinking himself with a twitch of his nose, he dived inside, searching for the correct 'toy'.