Political Cartoon beta
 

Here is the script for it, tell me what you guys think and/or anyway to improve it.

It's okay so far, I see you're going for kind of mostly 8bit style with some satire thrown in, but there're grammatical errors that give it a bad feel. commas and spelling corrections in certain places would make it aesthetically better. right now, there's no specific punchline, which is not necessarily bad, if it's not what you're driving at. Still, while it was interesting, no definitive 'joke' throughout the thing.

It's pretty good.

Oh keep in mind it is a beta. It is a wrough draft of a basic idea. To be honest that was like 10mins of work. I just wanted to get something out there for people to see and help me work on. Trust me that is by no means any where close to the final product.

As for punch-line. Well it isn't really ment to be laugh your (word not found) off funny. It is more of a humor thing though. Just alittle thing to amuse people with. Also I didn't bother to proof-read since it was a beta. I just did a spell check and posted it. I will most likely edit it later today. Don't worry I will let you guys know if I make changes.

PS if any one is worried dont worry I got the ok from the boss man. So we can go through with it without the whole messy copywright thing getting in the way.

Looks like it's going good so far, just fix some of the grammatical errors and work on its current "style" some more and this could be a good cartoon.

thrown=throne :D

Sorry, I'm kind of a perfectionist. The satire is slightly obvious *cough*, actually it's quite blunt. WMDs were around then? I say you rename them something more ambiguous. Like "Lvl 10 spells" or something of that nature. That's what most satire is anyway. A story that's meaning could be taken more than one way.

once you polish it, it should be pretty good. Politics of it is pretty good, the general feel of it is very good. Nice job.

level ten spells, I like it. I will most likely update it by the end of the day. Remember everyone it is a beta.

How can you take level 10 spells from someone without killing them? And who is fighter supposed to represent? This seems like an odd cross between the war and 8-bit theatre.

Really, hadn't noticed :rolleyes: . I mean who would expect me to make a 8-bit political cartoon a cross-over between 8-bit and politics.