Funny Things Overheard
 

Went to see Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist over the weekend and there was a part in the movie where you can hear a female have an orgasm. While this was somewhat out there on its own, the guy next to me punctuated the scene by loudly proclaiming to his girlfriend that the character had, and I quote, "She just bust a nut!", which now means that I can't watch the DVD when it comes out because we don't live in a perfect world that includes that man's running commentary for the movie.

Anything funny you've randomly overheard in your day-to-day?

This isn't something I overheard but rather a conversation I was having that was.

I had just pulled a cashier off her register so she could go home. I may a smart ass comment about how great I am and the cashier started mock bowing and praising me. My co-worker heard my name and none of the conversation so she just spouts out "Justin's a ho!". She had no idea why the cashier and I were laughing so hard.

I'm reminded of a conversation I walked into about a year ago.

"-mine was about this big but his was about THIS big so he can't fit it into his pants to sneak it into the movies."

Turned out they were talking about silly string cans to prank the movie theater...XD

I've had more moments of creating things that would be awkward to overhear than actually overhearing awkward things...

"I think I should really look into doing coke..."

At Disneyland a few years ago, I was waiting for a shuttle with my aunt and cousin, and this Italian guy walks by, talking in a ridiculously excited voice.
"...it turns out, I had another pair of paaaaaaants!!!"
We all sat there stifling laughter for a few seconds, then my aunt leans over and whispers, "I'd been wearing these ones for three years, but I had another pair!"

That reminds me of once when I was with a friend at Burger King and this college guy goes up to him right in front of me and goes "Hey, HEY PAUL! Aw man, it's been a long time! Hey, remember back in sixth grade when we were fucking that whore?"

My friend's name is John.

Told this once already but anyway:

"Well I don't know how big your thing is!"

Female voice, heard walking by the condom aisle. Actually, heard while looking for the condom aisle. Sure enough she wasn't too shy to strike up a conversation about condom purchase with a random stranger (i.e. me) either. The guy she was with looked absolutely mortified.

Well, just today, I heard someone announce that "It's my homework to call people beautiful." Right after, apparently, calling some random guy on the street beautiful.

So, is this a class in overcoming shyness, or in making a hopeless attempt to make people stop hating each other? Or just a class in acting weird?

I also heard a guy in TF2 say, after being accused of spawncamping, that "It wasn't spawncamping, that's just where they were." But that's almost too easy.

It's a reverse Fight Club.

I have this habit of always being within earshot when someone is talking about me. It's kind of funny how people will immediately try to deny things that I JUST heard them saying.