Guys, No More Debate, I've Found The Worst Song
 

Be prepared to log the longest four minutes and twelve seconds of your life into this.

I'm really glad we can avoid the hassle of making "Worst Song of [blank]" lists, since that pretty much takes all the spots on every single one of them, past, present, or future.

To be fair, its the video that really makes me want to kill myself in the face over and over again.

That said, is it really worse than this song?

I'm not big into Eiffel 65, used to be when I was dumb and small, but I wouldn't consider it the worst song in the world. The music video those kids made made me hate the internet.

As someone forced to listening to My Console every time I bum a ride from my friend, the combination of utter, hopeless datedness (Omega Boost? X-Files??), a beat that confirms every bad thing anyone has ever said about techno music ever, lyrics that rely heavily on spelling, and a whole host of other things, the video actually lessened the pain for me.
Aside from the utter ridiculousness of the band's name, that really wouldn't be out of place in a South Park episode. I AM NOT CONVINCED IT IS A WORSER SONG.
Cmon, even on the list of artificially constructed joke songs it's lacking.

I don't really think it's fair to complain about a song's datedness, at least in the sense that it's worse for it, when it's an old song. I'd say it's probably about nine or ten years old by now.

Oh please. Eiffel 65 might not have the best track record, but that's nothing compared to this.

And did you just now find that? I'd been under the impression that everyone had heard, hated, and gotten over that song years ago.

While you get bonus points for it being Effel 65, I still think that the worst song of all time is contained within.

Because it's one thing to be horrible, it is quite another to be horrible and get consistently blasted on the radio, bar jukeboxes, and 7,000$ car sound systems despite that fact.

This one isn't exactly the worst ever, but I never could figure out how the guy who made Audiosurf could actually like this. (It was one of the very first songs put in the "Radio" for the game.) I mean...wow.

All I remember of Eiffel 65 is that "Blue" song they used to play. That was pretty terrible, but its existence is justified by the burlesque poetry performance one of my friends gave of it.

Y'know, I've avoided that song almost completely. The vitriol directed at it when it came out has convinced me that my iPod, which totally removes the need for radio, is the best thing I've ever owned.

I enjoy Eiffel 65, Boom Boom Boom and Ibiza are damn sweet.

First off, I didn't intend for this thread to be a 'reminisce about Eiffel 65' thread as much as I wanted it to turn into a "What is the objectively worse song ever made by actual musicians who supposedly have dedicated their life's work to such things" thread.
I vaguely remember having a friend in middle school who had bought Europop and played P-L-A-Y-S-T-A-T-I-O-N all the time because we were mostly friendless video game nerds, but it was only until I met my college friend that I heard it with actual discernment and realized how bad it is.

I'd consider your song, but then I'd have to consider the 'work' of every drunken officeworker who decides to make an ass of themselves in freestyle karaoke. Just because they had access to a videocamera doesn't mean that they made something professionally bad.
Girl Talk managed to use a sample from this for one of his songs so it cannot be considered entirely bad, just mainly bad. To put it another way, using anaerobic technology you can light a lightbulb with the energy from decomposing shit. Sure, it's still shit, but you can derive a use out of it by being clever.
It doesn't seem that outrageous. From what I've seen from the game, a mediocre dance song with a mostly consistent beat is a good enough introduction.

Hey, I like My Console. It's got a funky beat and it's fun to drive to, so nyah.

Worst song by an established musician? Hmm, I will have to think on that.

It's STILL Yes We Can.

I'm reluctant to call that a song.

Zilla wins.

Oh god, OW.

Someone was paid to play that song?

Okay, I listened to the other songs linked in this thread. Paris for President was obviously a spoof song, and though the acting and staging was terrible, it wasn't too bad for the music. The gayest guy or whatever doesn't count, that wouldn't ever sell as a produced song. I Never Want To is pretty lame. He wishes he was Nine Inch Nails, that much is obvious, and he fails pretty hard. I Never Want To listen to this song again. I do want some Perfect Drug to clean out my ears.

No no no...

Someone was paid to write that song.

It's not great, but I'm not willing to justify it as worst song just because it's included for some godforsaken reason on Guitar Hero.

None of these songs are about specific headwear and how it bears a resemblance to selachimorphic dorsal appendages, and thus none of them are the worst song in history.

No, Yes We Can is not about hats like shark fins, because it would have content if it was. That would mean it had subject mattter. While rediculous, at least that song has a premise, and actual music involved, and a real beat.

I disagree, purely by virtue of the fact that Shark Fin Hat's quality would be vastly improved by having no subject matter altogether. By being about LL Cool J's hat being like a shark's fin, and seriously so, it is plunged to a level far below Yes We Can.

You can simply turn off Yes We Can and go about your business. Shark Fin Hat will haunt you until the day you die.

I dunno, after playing all the amazing songs in Guitar Hero 2 and suddenly expanding my music library tenfold, picking Yes We Can was like Harmonix's practical joke on me.

It only confuses me because I have to wonder what they were thinking. Like, hey, you know what we need? A song with one note. And one lyric.

I think it stands on its own merit, disregarding Guitar Hero.

Si se puede

Yes we, yes we can!

Oh god I had forgotten just how bad that song is until I watched that video.

See, I think the fact that YWC was a disappointing part of GHII is magnifying all your guys vision, incorrectly causing you to ascribe it much worse feelings because of what could have been in its place.

On its own, like POS alluded to, YWC is mostly forgettable, but because it was the 'worst' of the bonus songs you give its horrendousness a 4X multiplier and put it on a far lower subjective level.

No, it was basically the worst song I've ever heard, fuck the fact that it's on Guitar Hero.

My friends and I routinely mock its existence as the worst song that we have ever heard, bar none.

I have not played that song on Guitar Hero II, as I have not played much of Guitar Hero II. That aside, that song fucking sucks. Actually, to call it a song is to degrade other musical pieces called "songs" throughout the globe. "Yes We Can" has the absolute skeleton of a pop song (including chord change), and fails to do anything but annoy. Think of any pop song you may possibly like. Now take away everything you like about the song. Yes We Can is what you're left with.

No, We Can't.

Another who has not played that song on Guitar hero. I've only played a few songs on friend's games, never owned it myself. Seeing it in this thread was my first experience with it.

I was happy until this thread. Thanks Zilla. I'll never be able to go back. :(

I had a friend with one of those cassette-to-headphone leads and an iPod with that song, and it was the worst car trip of my life. We never even finished listening to it. The whistle solo is just too much.

True that. I'd retract my submission, but I just want to leave it up there for everyone who has the misfortune to visit this thread. YWC is just the WORST.

Well, too bad. I was part of the committee in 1999 or so that decided unanimously that Shark Fin Hat was the worst song of all time and I stand by our decision. As a writer of songs about bees in cars and eating babies, I feel that I am most qualified to make this call.

On the note of Deepest Bluest vs. Yes We Can:

Disregarding content (or lack thereof) of the lyrics, I can still listen to Deepest Bluest. You know, beats and shit. It doesn't sound like complete crap. YWC on the other hand, fails at sounding anything like a song ever.

So we can make a chart:

http://i36.tinypic.com/2s00g90.jpg

YES.

Dear god I hate that song.

I never played that game, but I still can't stand it. I mean, the instruments are apparently some pots and pans and The Incredibly Annoying Electronic Noise Machine. The second one is, of course, much louder. And occasionally someone squawks like a dehydrated parrot. And some other random noises like a whistle further increase the dissonance. Given that most awful songs don't sound awful the whole way through, and this one does, it gets my vote.

I mean, what the hell? I can't imagine a use for that "song" besides a wake-up alarm for the masochistic.

I saw that "yes we can" guitar hero video and nearly made me insane.
The worst part was however that it sounded like there was Finnish lyrics also. Ei vertaa, which could be translated as "No match".

So horrible, so horrible..

How about some Nightmare Before Christmas cover?

Yes We Can is amazing and I'll take it over generic contemporary punk any day. http://www.nuklearforums.com/pictur...1&pictureid=24

And the same goes for Red Lottery just so we're on the same page here.

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

But not as much as that band for ruining those songs...

You are what is wrong with the world.

Flying at Mach "Stupid" speeds with a roflcopter, it's the song that was created when the world ran out of ideas.

Just when you thought Justin Timberlake couldn't get any worse.

But I think we have a winner. Nothing says PHAIL (with PH) like a bunch of half-punk, half-goth pasty lanky white guys singing about how they are shaking their inflatable girlfriends, while the entire population of the world's retards decide to have a dance-off in the middle of a concert hall.

Costumes aside, I find it difficult to find "phail" with a large number of people that seem to be having a good time dancing around [and some of their moves and breakdances are pretty good]. Top it off with music that aurally isn't grating or jarring - generic as it may be and regardless of what the actual lyrics are (I found I didn't pay attention to them) - and it's nowhere near the bottom of the grand list of music.

"I'm too Sexy" might be, but perhaps I am wandering into less objective lands with that statement.

Once the day comes that all Harmonix ever brings out anymore is generic metalcore and radio rock I can proudly stand and say this did not happen in my name.

oh hey

I am perplexed by the point you're making there, as I only recognize one song off that entire list. It kinda proves Harmonix goes for all sorts of crazy weird stuff.

Listen, ANY song that uses that voice mod, officially loses.

ugh!