Man, I have a hard enough time remembering who I am and what I am doing at any given moment (not joking) WITHOUT alcohol. I can't imagine what would happen if I actually drank.

Half the shit I say I say because I'm drunk.
Ain't a day goes by this ole boy ain't gettin crunk
Stumble out of bed, four in the afternoon
Grab another bottle, sees a blue baboon

Motherfuck ain't crunk dis an acid trip
Flim to the Flam to the Flavalip
Dawg was right, better buckle up
Lady Love's come gon' fuck him up

Colors taste delicious, what he love the most
Pullin off his skin, guess he better go post
Keys eat his fingers gotta use the mouse
Don't click too fast, you burn down the house

Writes a plea for help, one letter per thread
Ain't nobody knows what that fool done said
Jump ahead three years, missing persons finds the key
"ya'll gotta help, there's this babboon eatin' me."





Hmm. It appears my alcoholic binges have produced, at last, true art.

*sips mai tai*

Baboon? All I see is a sad loon
Drink all day and all night, pass out until noon
Can't function, can't think but for the drink
Lean over and let loose, puke in the sink

Well, to get the bad taste of Demetrius's little poem there out of our collective mouths, let's try answering Noncon's questions. By that point, I'm usually too drunk to stop myself. It's kind of a non-issue. If I'm a little drunk, I can post, and if I'm tow' up, I post anyway. It only affects RP posts, really, since if I'm gone I can't keep track of what's happening.

However, it's a good habit to check you recent posts after a night of heavy drinking to make sure you haven't posted anything too terrible and to try to put out any burning bridges. Also, it can be really funny.

I leave that up to my fans. Wait, I got rep for this drunk post. My fans have no taste.

Next time when you're "too drunk" and you so know you're going to regret it tomorrow, write yourself a note that says "Hello future me, this is the past you! I know you're feeling like shit now, but you had fun last night!"

It's hilarious to find that in your pocket in the morning and not remembering you wrote it. Be sure to sign it too, so you know it's authentic.

I post too often to have a chance of finding any drunk posts I've left here.

But I do remember one of the only thoughts in my mind while posting hammered was to proofread my one or two line post over and over from overwhelming fear of getting banned. I was still well aware I would probably post inappropriate things, because I'm quite the lightweight.

You know...NPF should have a stickied "drunk post" thread!