Too funk to drunction!
 

So, if it isn't obvious from my very desperate, yet failing, attempts to appear constantly sober... I like to imbibe alcoholic beverages. A lot.

I try not to post when inebriated, though, with this post as the best example, I fail frequently. How do you know when you are too drunk to post, and if you have posted drunk, what's the best drunk post you have ever posted?

FYI: Watching Excel Saga drunk out of your panties is such a goddamn mindfuck.

FLCL is hilarious with alcohol. Every time there's phallic imagery, a shot. I think we sent a guy to the hospital after the fourth episode. Pfft. Lightweight.

I don't post while drunk. I'm too busy either getting further inebriated or sleeping it off. Not a lot of middle ground. That being said, when I have managed to post drunk, it was hard to tell; in-line spellcheck and my anal-retentiveness make mistakes less noticeable.

I tell more about myself when drinking, too.
 

I get drunk on Jesus, does that count?

And I occasionally have waaaaaaaaaay to much caffeine, but it doesn't really show when I'm writing.

Is this an intervention?

I can't say I've posted a whole lot when drunk... except for last night.

However, I have played RaiRO while drunk. I never knew I could starve a pet so fast....

I swear, it was like, two whole minutes, and my pet was beyond lean and mean... it was skinny and pissed.

Unless Jesus is in a liquid form, then not really.

I'm not sure if I have ever posted drunk. Propably. Nothing meaningful though, not even anything funny.

I do IM and use Facebook when drunk though. Provided I'm still stading when I get home. And provided that I actually get back home. I have a few bad habbits while drunk; one is text messaging a lot and the other is too often not going home alone. And yes, the later is a problem too.

Technically, you'd only be... *googles* *calculates* about 8-16% alcohol. Still, probably lethal.

Man, I have a hard enough time remembering who I am and what I am doing at any given moment (not joking) WITHOUT alcohol. I can't imagine what would happen if I actually drank.

Half the shit I say I say because I'm drunk.
Ain't a day goes by this ole boy ain't gettin crunk
Stumble out of bed, four in the afternoon
Grab another bottle, sees a blue baboon

Motherfuck ain't crunk dis an acid trip
Flim to the Flam to the Flavalip
Dawg was right, better buckle up
Lady Love's come gon' fuck him up

Colors taste delicious, what he love the most
Pullin off his skin, guess he better go post
Keys eat his fingers gotta use the mouse
Don't click too fast, you burn down the house

Writes a plea for help, one letter per thread
Ain't nobody knows what that fool done said
Jump ahead three years, missing persons finds the key
"ya'll gotta help, there's this babboon eatin' me."





Hmm. It appears my alcoholic binges have produced, at last, true art.

*sips mai tai*

Baboon? All I see is a sad loon
Drink all day and all night, pass out until noon
Can't function, can't think but for the drink
Lean over and let loose, puke in the sink

Well, to get the bad taste of Demetrius's little poem there out of our collective mouths, let's try answering Noncon's questions. By that point, I'm usually too drunk to stop myself. It's kind of a non-issue. If I'm a little drunk, I can post, and if I'm tow' up, I post anyway. It only affects RP posts, really, since if I'm gone I can't keep track of what's happening.

However, it's a good habit to check you recent posts after a night of heavy drinking to make sure you haven't posted anything too terrible and to try to put out any burning bridges. Also, it can be really funny.

I leave that up to my fans. Wait, I got rep for this drunk post. My fans have no taste.

Next time when you're "too drunk" and you so know you're going to regret it tomorrow, write yourself a note that says "Hello future me, this is the past you! I know you're feeling like shit now, but you had fun last night!"

It's hilarious to find that in your pocket in the morning and not remembering you wrote it. Be sure to sign it too, so you know it's authentic.

I post too often to have a chance of finding any drunk posts I've left here.

But I do remember one of the only thoughts in my mind while posting hammered was to proofread my one or two line post over and over from overwhelming fear of getting banned. I was still well aware I would probably post inappropriate things, because I'm quite the lightweight.

You know...NPF should have a stickied "drunk post" thread!