Race to Witch Mountain
 

THERE IS NO ME!

When I was a small child, there was one movie series that stood out among the rest. Me and My sister hated all things the other like, movies included, except for one glorious thing:

Witch Mountain. There were two good movies, and then one not so good movie knockoff, and there were good books.

Two twins (who sometimes didn't look alike at ALL despite actually needing to) who have special powers that are strongest when they are together, the government who wants to capture them, crazy old folks who want to control them, and a nice landing and take off point on the top of a Mountain named Witch.

GOLD! Original! I had flights of fancy as a younger Pyros of being stuck in an Orphanage and using my powers to escape with some blond chick about my age!

And now there's another. And it stars THE ROCK.

My childhood is a minefield and I'm walking it in a ZIGZAG!

What's funny is that until I heard it mentioned in the preview that I watched during the Super Bowl, I had absolutely no idea I was watching a preview for Witch Mountain. I was all "The Rock!" and "Cool kids with powers!" and then they were like "We need to get to Witch Mountian!" and I was all "WITCH MOUNTAIN!" and then my brain shut down for a bit.

All I know is that the one I saw was completely awful.

You talking about that one 90's made for TV movie remake?

I'm assuming so.

I mean it was awful, and Pyros seems to indicate they were all good except for one, so, yeah.

That's the one, Beyond Witch Mountain. I was seriously wondering if someone was being cruel to me again and showing me something horribly similar to something else I adored. Like that unofficial Wizard of Oz sequel with Dorothy nearly escaping shock therapy. Throughout the entirety of it, as it was a reimagining of the book, despite the original being incredibly faithful to the books.

Purple energy when they put their hands together? PREPOSTEROUS!

Well, I'm guessing that, much like the rest of his movies, The Dwayne will probably at least be far from the worst part of this.

I thought it was just Return To, the 99 remake or whatever?

Oh wait, you're right, it was called "Escape to Witch Mountain" in 1995. Beyond was a tv pilot I never watched.

All I recall is the color purple and a planet of Twins.

Yeah, and apparently, we're all really twins, and we just forgot all about it!

How does Witch Mountain tie in? Who knows!

I did like the cameo by our very own Nikose Tyris, though.