Dangerous Foods
 

Ow fuck I burned my mouth on this fucking traitorous pizza.

There's this prominent ridge behind my two frontmost teeth (top) that always gets burned when I eat pizza. Every time.

At least it's not Fugu.

This is why I almost never make a pizza in my oven; it only cooks it to boiling hot or half-frozen. Either way, it's extremely unpleasant.

I do wonder why we are hard wired to eat/drink delicous foods that we know will cause oral decimation.

Culinary Sirens?

Another dangerous food would be hard boiled wine gum sweets. I lived in ever constant fear of them ripping my teeth out with every chew.

Tortilla chips are like death to your mouth. Little slivers have the tendency to embed themselves between my teeth and hurt like nobody's business. I wouldn't bother with them at all if they weren't so delicious.

You're supposed to let the food cool down a little first. I'm pretty sure every baked good recipe says that, even clafouti which is supposed to be served nearly out of the oven. Sorry! :p
I hear that sprinkling sugar/salt on your tongue is supposed to help with burnt tastbuds, but I've never tried it. Also, this might help, but it looks like it's meant for pretty extreme burns: http://www.ehow.com/video_12670_soot...nt-tongue.html

Anyway, I never could eat more than one bowl of captain crunch, and even at that, the roof of my tongue has always been torn to hell by it. Other than that, I can't stomach very spicy foods, so name one thing that's spicy and I likely haven't tried it out of fear.

In the past when I ate tortilla chips I never chewed them properly so they hurt like hell on the way down.

Oh, and when I eat Skittles, my mouth kinda stings for a little while after. Not sure why.

...Does Vodka count as a food? Because if you drink it straight it's not great on the way down either.

Never had a bowl of Corn Pops in my life without shredding the hell out of the top of my mouth.

Every time I have hot chocolate I burn my tongue and it feels insensitive and unable to taste for days.

I was going to ask about beer earlier. 'Cause, seriously, big ol' DANGER sign there.