Marital Prowess (This ones for you "Red Mage")
 

Ok for those of you who don't know Sosa thought my Martial Prowess theard actually said Marital Prowess. It sidetracked the theard for a few post. In his honor I present the Marital Prowess theards.

So lets talk about how many of you are married, divorced, sepearated, cohabitating, whatever. Funny stroies are always good. I have my doubts that many of the people here have been married even once but I may be wrong.

Myself I am unmarried and completely single. Haha all you suckers I aint got no one to hold me back and spend my money. Oh wait I have no money and I'm lonely as hell. Damn now I just fell horrible. (Since it seems to be a problem on this forum yes that was sarcasim)

I'm unmarried and single. I'm happy with that. Though I do miss having a guy to cuddle with, heh. I just got out of a relationship last month, and he turned slightly stalkerish afterwards. I was the one to break it off, for a lot of reasons. He didn't take it very well. Uhm, but yeah, I'm single.

well, I can count the number of Girlfriends I've had on exactly one finger...that's bent downward halfway. Funny story, that finger...
...You see, I was going out with this girl, who we'll call "Amy" for the sake of decency (something she doesn't have), for about 2 weeks. I find out from her friends that she's screwing around with another guy, who we'll call "John" for the sake of courtesy. I, not one for confrontation, walked up to "Amy" in the hall like normal, and started talking, and when "John" walked past, I grabbed his sleeve, pulled him over and said "wow, look at this sweet piece of ass, don't you just want to fu*k him?!" and gave her a look to say game's up, skank, and walked off after abruptly finishing the conversation, and ignored her every attempt to talk to me for a good week.

been single ever since...though maybe not for too long, I hope.

I have a problem of getting badly burned in a relationship. So I have vowed to never take my relationship seriously unless rings are getting involved.

Single.
I haven't been in a serious relationship since highschool ended.
Technology schools just aren't the place to meet females and I don't really can't see myself in a long term relationship with girls i meet in clubs

i have 5 wives (dont tell them, tho) and 15 illegitamit children (try not to tell them, either)

I thought that was Sosa. In fact you the one that accused him of having 5 wives and 15 illegitamte children.

yyyyeah.. thats right.. those are HIS illegitamit children. thats the ticket! they aren't mine. i dont owe any child support. nosiree

cue afroman music I was gonna pay my child support....

THE FATHER OF THE BOY NAMED SUE
[Silverstein's speaking voice:] ”Okay… now years ago, I wrote a song named “A Boy Named Sue”, and that was okay and everything, except then I started to think about it, and I thought, “It is unfair. I am looking at the whole thing from the poor kid’s point of view. And as I get more older and more fatherly, I begin to look at things from an old man’s point of view. So… I decided to give the old man equal time. Okay. Here we go.”

Yeah, I lef’ home when the kid was three.
It sure felt good to be fancy free
Tho I knew it wasn’t quite the fatherly thing to do.
But that kid kept screamin’ and throwin’ up
And pissin’ in his pants til I had enough
So just for revenge I went and named him Sue.

It was Gatlinberg in mid July
I was gettin' drunk but gettin' by
Gettin' old and going from bad to worse
When thru the door with an awful scream
Comes the ugliest queen I’ve ever seen
He says my name is Sue. How do you do?
Then he hits me with his purse.

Now this ain’t the way he tells the tale
But he scratched my face with his fingernails
And then he bit my thumb
and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe.
So I hit him in the nose, and he started to cry
And he threw some perfume in my eye
And it sure ain’t easy fightin with a boy named Sue.

So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair
And he screamed, “Hey Dad, you mussed my hair!”
And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint.
He was spittin' blood. I was spittin teeth.
And we crashed through the wall and out into the street
A-kickin and gougin' in the mud and the blood and the crème de menth.

Then out of his garter he pulls a gun.
I’m about to get shot by my very own son.
He’s screamin' about Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim.
So I thought fast and I told him some stuff
How I named him Sue just to make him tough.
And I guess he bought it, cuz now I’m livin' with him.
Yeah, he cooks and sews and cleans up the place.
He cuts my hair and shaves my face.
And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do.
And on the nights that I can’t score,
Well, I can’t tell you anymore.
Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue.
Yeah, a son is fun,
But it’s a joy to have a boy named Sue.