The Warring States of NPF - 4chan ftw + 8 shots Absolute Vodka + Empty Stomach + Fifthfiend Recommendation

I shit you not!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

Hahahaha, you should go make some threads.

Honestly, try to maintain the amount of willpowerr I have after 8 shots of vodka on an empty stomach. I'm not some 700 pound wonder here, I'mn just a lone Canadian dude drinking his vodka and wondering...

http://www.whiskeywise.com/images/Wi...luxeWhisky.jpg

Why am I not drinking this?

Has anyone else not had this, yet (not)? It's probably the best whiskey ever made. Yeah yeah. I mean a lot of Americans and NEW ZEALANDERS (I won't name names cough it rhymes with Farmy ZickDarrley Gants) seem to tout Jack Daniels Whiskey but honestly? It tastes likt shit. It's basically poison. It's like they took human feces, and put it in a blender, and added some alcohol. and maybe a bit of brown food colouring. By the way this is a Republican conspiracy, anyway they add the brown food colouring and they're like oh man, this will help us in our conquest to kill liberals (its a well known statistical fact that liberals and liverbals alone like jack daniels), so yeah jack daniels is crap.

Wisers, however, tastes great. It tastes like, honestly, 15% alcohol. But it's actually 40%. Friggin' sweet! because those people that claim "beer ain't so bad." Full ofshit. Beer tastes like shit. It's crystal meth in a can. Beer is crystal meth in a can. ITS CRYSTAL METH. Okay, its not THAT bad, but it tastes pretty mediocre. The only bonus is it loosens you up. Helps you write those essays. Help you get rid of those insecurities and talk to that girl acros the bar. Hey girl, how you doing eh? I say eh because I'm Canadian? You know, with the igloos and the lumberjacks haha yes so funny! And she's like ew get away from me you dirty hobo! I feel slightly offended at the reply, I mean, I showered seven days ago I'm not THAT dirty! Maybe my hair's a bit greasy but COME the fuck ON!

Anyway, I believe ther ewas a point to this thread:
AHEM:

4chan ftw

Class, tonight your homework is as follows, please use the URL link for all those not savvy with the UNDERLINED URL lingo: (third or fourth colon in a row, what a twist!)

YOUR HOMEWORK MEMBER OF NUKLEAR POWER!!!

Little bit of history: if you must know, I honestly spent like 10 minutes on Googles Images being like what the cheesecake HELL is going on why isn't my YouTube video appearing before my eyes? This is proof that browsers are not where they should be. Yeah Firefox is cool. IE is shit (well IE7 was okay but what the hell IE8, why you gotta be so glitchty and horrible?), Chrome is like the bane of the internwet's existence despite being a few of myu friends' preferred browsing experience. Anyway, its obvious browsers need to cater to the intensely drunk.

If only all your intellect and armchair philoshopy could BEGIN to understand the depths at which my willpower is stretching to form even the vaguest of complete sentences. It is truly astronomical science at work ( for those not aware, astronomical science=awesom science).

Anyway, back to your homework. Dammit children, pay attention!!

I will now breakdown 4chan ftw, the movie, for it is possibly one of the funniest clips of our generation for a multitude of reasons why.

Yes, 4chan is a horrible place. I frequently allude to it being the "bottom of the barrel" of the Internet. It is. An image forum that is entirely without boundaries. NPF is great because is sets boundaries. You know, its like "Hey I believe this"
and Fifthfiend is all like "FUCK YOU HAHAAHAHAHA"

And the person is like ":("

And then you get this PM in your inbox about an infraction, whatever THAT is. Well, whatever it is, it's probably better than a cornfield!

So 4chan is horrible. It's a cesspool. Perverts, racists, both. I can't believe people would see some of the racism there and NOT act on it.

Premonitions has it right, SOMEtimes. Racism is institutionalized, man. Before Grade 5, I had no fucking clue what racism was. I saw that other people didn't look the same,. and I was like, cool, other people look different, I'll talk to them. And they talk back, and I was like ,cool, I understand what you're saying (racism or no, language barriers are the bitch of all bitches), lets be friends! In grade 5, all of my friends except three were black. It was a utopia. Then, in grade 6, I was a "Peacekeeper", which is like a Canadian Solider but without a gun, solving school yard disputes (like I said, EXACTLY like a Canadian Soldier with no gun). And this black girl and white girl are arguing, and I'm not sure why, and then the black girl is like "Cuz she's white, so don't get it!" And at the time, I didn't understand. But when I look back, 10+ years later, another equation was entered into my worldview. Colour. But why? Was there any reason? Not really! Those girls were friggin' stupid Grade 6ers. But it gets worse with age, it gets indoctrinated. Eventually a third of the people you know carry around that variable. Eventually, half the people you know. It sickeneing. World peace, man. It's an arm's reach away but we're too busy slapping each other around to realize it. Too busy getting all Darwin and shit.

And don't mistake my talk for sarcasm, I've just had...umm...roughly 9 shot of Vodka at this point. Should probably update thread title, possibly homosexual. Will investigate later.

Anyway, 4chan is horrible. Enough said. However, the beast of 4chan is not realized in your HOMEWORK (pay attention, kids). The homework I had you watch, 4chan ftw, is based on a well known principle of comedy I believe once uttered by Conan O'Brian. Or maybe it was Jon Stewart. Well maybe it was SOMEONE, it definitely wasn't voices in my head. Nope. The T-Test proves it.

The principle goes along the lines 'Anything is game if its for comedy.' And I kind of like the idea. It's got a sort of poetic drunk (you can't prove im drunk!!!) melody to it. Like if this were a utopia where there was no racism ,no sexism, no disease, no murder, no evil. In this utopia, we could all just laugh at each other! That's comedy!

And that's what your homework was about...

Okay, just so I keep you guys awake, lets run through our homework together:

The film starts with some kind of pedophilia. I dunno, is this bear some kind of pedophilke? I believe he is!

And then King Leonidas slaps a girl. Yay! See, pay attention, king leonidas is a key figure in this film.

The Gears of War thing was just clever. I dunno, more pedophilia, why is that funny?

Jean Claude Van Damme getting mad at CS:S, hahaha, don't worry, you're not alone.

Who else is dancing to this Lucky Star remix? I fucking am. Close approximation:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA280_.jpg

I don't really carew for the 2d fighter part you should neither. 2d fighters are less than one dimension and you should know that.
\
Furries? They are the real problem. Fact: Furries cause most world issues. I have relevant degrees to prove it.

Batman + Mario 2, haha, so cever 4chan! Babality!

Mudskip chewing is possiblyt the funniest thing ever, and then BAM, Rumsfeld perfection gifs, rolling a joint...perfect. I am pro marijuana legalization yet I haVE never smoked. Proof it is logical bullshit to illegalize.

:-/ Fifthfiend + Azisien = BFF

Some people would consider the Star Wars Clone Wars (??? never watched it) racist, but why? It's just a hyper black dude killing some droids. Enjoy his excitement, I say!

http://www.thecellarhouston.com/wp-c...ads/wppa/3.gif

Funniest shit ever. Thank goodness for the bedpan is all I have to say!

Your homework basically goes uphill from there. I've never seen this anime, but I want to. I started watching Bludgeoning Angel Dokoro-Chan because of this movie. Hilaruous.

And not only is the remix of this music hilarious, the anime girls part is great. Shoe kick, watch, shoe catch, show kick, watch....n+1

Genius!!

And then more pedophilia. Sigh. If it wasn't for Tyra Banks spewing pure Ki (which, apparently, exists, despite all scientific inquiry to the contrary [according to my RELEVANT DEGREES]), I would have been disappointed by the end.

I hope you've all learned something. Not just about yourselves, but about the universe in general.

For further infromation, see: More homework!