walking calmly through the lightning storm, Zoam reaches the hiding place of Jarlax. Grabbing his alchemy necklace from him with a curt "give me that you asshole!" he promptly slaps Jarlax in the face with such force as to render him unconscious.

thusly slapped, Jarlax is left in a rather undignified heap somewhere in the remains of the womens lingere aisle.

Without Jarlax's will being forced through his Alchemy necklace the lightning storm promptly stops. Jarlax tries to regain consiousness, but fails and will be out till i get back online.

Dynasty Warriors!
 

Pulling the crossbow bolt from his head, Torint wearily draws his sword, Leviathan, which is from Dynasty Warriors 4 Xtreme Legends. Drawing on it's awesome eleventh level powers, Torint creates a tidal wave that washes over the city, except for the Wal-Mart. Torint smiles, and hopes the people in K-Mart can swim.

CheshireThief hits up the sporting goods section himself. He grabs a lot of camping supplies, and quickly (away from everyone's view... behind Wal-Mart) makes an underground bomb shelter with a hidden door above ground. He rushes back to Wal-Mart and fills his shelter with supplies.

from on top of Wal-Mart, a black-robed figure lets out a cold laugh..........then launches a barrage of house-sized energy missiles at the smoking remains of K-mart...................aiming blast after blast at the inferior store. He takes a short break, grinning wickedly at the wreckage.
"Thank Mystra for these ultra-low-price spell components they were selling at Wal-Mart!" laughs and launches another blast.........calling to mind a spell of teleportation, he appears in the bunker where Cheshire Theif was storing his stuff, casting a Quickened Greater Invisibility before CT can see him. He then grabs all of the valuable items there, teleporting back to the roof when he is finished.

If there's one thing a Thief knows, it's when his things are missing. He chuckles as he looks down at his watch and presses a button. All of the stolen items explode, with the plastique he implanted on each one of them. He goes back into Wal-Mart and steals more items for his shelter, leaving one of his duplicates to watch the shelter.

TD returns into Wal-mart (unless he already is) and heads over to the McDonalds. There, he buys 25 1/2 CC sandwich combos and fiddles them with little, modified electronic gizmos from the electronics department. He puts 'trackers' on the devices and arms the gizmo's to on. He them summons his penguin army and dispatches them to transport them to the mech battle outside. The penguins waddle to the mechs where they fire shots at each other. TD, watching his tracking device sees the green dot overlap the red dot. He presses the red button and a fiery explosion engulfs the street and smoke blows into Wal-mart. He laughs....

Bob is safe and sound in his 'mech derivative and begins an all-out assault on TD, launching wave after wave of cruise missles at him and leaving the air itself glowing with discharge from the buster rifle. He then opens up with his vulcan cannons, emptying cartridge after cartridge of shells into TD, leaving him somewhere between swiss cheese and rye toast.

Recovering from being cheeze-wized-afied, TD gets up and runs back to Wal-mart. There he fills a shopping cart of Mountain Dew and races back out the store. TD fills a nearby pot full of the Mountain Dew and, with all his might, throws the Mountain Dew on Bob's mech. It rusts instantly. "What the hell?..." TD looks puzzled. "I though Mountain Dew would burn it away instantly!" TD looks at the bottles and it says "Akbar's fresh made Mountain Dew. Great for burning things!" (sorry if I get burned for this from Brian or any of the mods, just trying to make a joke). Off in the distance, a quiet but faint phrase, "Suckers!", emits through the air. TD droops his head, but is reminded that Bob is now rendered usless....

Bob immediately leaps out of his war machine and rips a rusty piece of metal off one of the legs. He uses it as a sword and stabs TD several times in the lower abdomen. TD developes a severe form of lockjaw.