So, about that Zombie Apocalypse...
 

Okay, so we have one of these zombie apocalypse planning threads every once in a while, no? So basically, my buddy's running a D20 Modern zombies game, with characters based on ourselves. Now, I realized that what I would do in that situation, once I got to a safe place, of course, is hop on here and see if our party can't hitch a ride on the Pillar of Osterbaum. So basically, this is a normal zombie survival plans thread, with the caveat that I need to have a basic meeting point by my next session.

You should do this, and I'm not kidding in the least. As the game starts, bust out a phone with sattelite internet (should still be functioning in anything but a massive outbreak) and consult NPF for advice on where to go.

Your meeting point varies with your starting position.

Also your priority check list. What's more abundant where you are? Medic supplies? Food? Survival gear? Defense gear?

How close are you to forests (a tree house is a safe house at times like these)? How close are you to deep waters (a small boat becomes a mobile home at times like these)?

The first thing is organization

If someone gets bitten, kill them. If they start lagging or become stupid, kill them. Cold Bloodness is needed to survive a zombie apocalypse. Don't waste bullets on questionable shots either.

If you find a car with a cow catcher...use it!

In that case, I think a zombie apocalypse is near, I've seen that the number of people with these characteristic is increasing each day. Some groups like PeTA or that birthers thingy exist thanks to them.

I know, but my application to begin eliminating said groups in order to help prevent the zombie apocalypse was denied by the UN so they will live another day for now.

New and relevant!

Zombie Plans! :D

Yunno, every time zombies comes up, everyone advocates being cold blooded, like krogowolf advises. While I can see the logic, I can't help but feel like if the zombie apocalypse happens, regardless of if it starts in a separate country, people will be killing other people because otherwise they will "slow the healthy" or some other morbid logic. It just seems like silly logic unless we're well into the whole world being taken over by zombification; Not everyone who breaks their leg is doomed, I would hope.

Regardless, I'd probably get to the nearest military base. There's a local airport nearby, but I don't know how to fly, and no one I know knows how to. My other option is to get to the coast, get lots of food and other supplies onto a boat, and get out that way. My survival mainly rides on other survivors having a stronghold I could get to. Otherwise, I may as well succumb, because as we know, majority rules, right? :p

I advocate being cold blooded slaughter in every situation that warrents it. Zombies, Killing Aliens, Taking over the world, Going to School, Shopping at Christmas time. Seriously, these situations you have to address emotionally detached so you can make the best decisions possible.

But if it is a Zombie Apocalypse, IE you are already on the run from zombies, Having a person with a broken leg will slow your ass down.

What if they make zombie sharks and zombie whales? Then hows your boat adventure going now herm! I say head to the Northern parts of the world were it is practically winter yearly and that way the zombies will pretty much freeze on the way to you, or become even more hindered in you movementr

You never watched Dead Snow I take it?

Yeah I watched it, but those are Nazi Zombies, they're extinct now after the great Zombie War of 1979. They are now unable to create zombies that adequately work in Winter Wonderlands. Till they start zombie fying eskimos, then we're fucked.

Or if they release Zombie Jesus who is currently buried under the Vatican. Once that happens the zombification of the world is a given as nothing can stop zombie Jesus!

What about Zombie Santa-Claus.

He sees you!

He could be a problem, and he might field an Army of Zombie Elves as well. Worse would be if they manage to zombiefy the Polar Bears and shit. Then we'd be screwed because everything would become part of the Zombienation.

Could always live................

Under the sea! Under the Sea! Darling it's better Down where it's Wetter take it from me!

Eskimos are trained from birth to fight zombies.

Oh, right. We're here. Military base and we've convinced them to give us some basic training and weapons. So most of that isn't a problem.
Does second session count? We don't have a satellite phone, but once we got to the air base I talked them into letting me use a computer and made essentially this thread minus the hypothetical part.

I live by the coast and I live as though I'm camping so it's probably easier for me than most.
You can get a full stealth hammock and cover that bears 200lb and weighs only 1lb including binds and a water collection system.

My plan is just to run about 10 blocks, break into my local kyak store by the water, carry it out with the paddle, slip my pack into it, carry it down to the water (about 20meters from there) and mosey on down the coast.

I figure if the zombies are slow, they probably can't swim, if they are fast they probably can swim, but not a channel or anything or out speed a kayak with me paddling, and if they are smart I'd be far away from the shore enough not to be shot at or have stuff thrown at me.

From there I can just islandhop (only a few hours between each one) and forage for greens and rations until I get to Vancouver Island and get some substantial wildlife.

The only problem I see is that it's possible in a zombie scenario that the animals could easily become infected too, and if birds become infected, or insects, that's a big problem.

If insects become carriers (don't see a realistic situation where insects become zombified), you are screwed.

Alos: HAH! I just discounted zombie insects as being too unrealistic, but accepted zombies themselves without hesitation. I am a nerd.

But how likely would it actually be for the disease to become such that it could pass between species?

Has anyone thought of a scenario where the disease might originate from animals? On a wide scale even?

I used to have such a good plan.

A guy that I've been friends with since I was 5 lived in a two story house, and came from a military family. That meant he had a defensible position and guns. Both his family and mine also had a fairly good supply of food. We also lived about 3 miles away from an air force base.

However, our plan wasn't to make for the base. Everyone in the area would be flocking to the base, so the roads would be impassable. No, our plan was straight out of the Zombie Survival Guide. Ferry as much food and water to their upstairs room, fill up the bathtub on that floor with water, stock up on weapons, destroy the staircase, and wait for the calavary.

Did I mention when his dad left his gun collection to him? Including some guns that are illegal to own in some states?

Yeah...it was a good plan...and then I moved. On top of that, my friend is moving this October.

Yeah...if the zombie apocalypse happens now, I'm screwed...I have no plan.

Good timing for this thread, this was on Cracked today.

Yeah. I have to admidt, I've considered these things before. Actually, doubts of how to do things are the main reason I don't have a clear plan put together yet.

Ummmm, animals will kill you anyway, they're already a threat, zombie or no zombie. Running into th woods means running away from zombified cities and towards good-old fashioned bears. What the hell is wrong with you guys?

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/4...eckingurls.jpg

Great, its a toss up between zombies and bears? What about Zombie Bears then. You know what, screw it. I'm going straight to a missile silo, figuring out a way to launch the nukes and then launch them all over the world. If the zombies don't get you, the nukes will!

Shit, and I thought I'd checked thoroughly enough! I'll be in the corner.

Zombie squirrels?

Honestly, Science would kill me during a zombie apocolypse. I'd have to know if it was necromancy or the Virus or parasites making corpses walk. I'd have to know if it can spread to animals or people who are already dead. I'd have to test out whether they go down to the Romero headshot or whether they just need to be damaged out and in that respect I'd waste ammo trying. I'd shoot out the legs and drop crosses on them just to see if it burns, I'd drop weights on them to see if they can be KO'd, and I'd waste ammo and time with my ineffective combat.\
Edit:
THIS

Say that the outbreak is caused by an airborne microorganism that reanimated the recently deceased. Then, killing a bitten friend is murder, not mercy. But putting the sheet over the head of a friend that's just died of her injuries should be followed up by a Viking funeral or something before it gets back up. You need to KNOW this stuff!

In all honesty, the answer to 'how do you kill it?' is almost always fire.

Zombies? Fire.

Vampires? Fire.

Unruly forums? Fire.

As much as it PAINS me to say this, that doesn't apply to zombies. Some zombie types require such specific kill methods or simply take too long to burn out, due to a lack of pain sense and an inability to recognize the dangers of being aflame. Usually, a burning enemy is distracted from killing you because it IS ON FUCKING FIRE. It may give over to panic or methodically attempt to extinguish itself, but its priorities change. Burning zombies may, depending on type and fire intensity, continue attacking you while on fire. Which means without a long-range incendiary weapon or a barricade, you've just upgraded the already dangerous Grappling with a Zombie to Grappling with a Zombie that is also on Fire because you Didn't Get Far enough Away when you Lit It.

I think that would depend on the type of zombie. A reanimated zombie would probably be quite dry, and burn down quickly, while the infected wouldn't burn well, but would likely die from asphyxiation rather quickly.

Also depends on your fire source. A straight-up flamethrower gives you a few dozen meters of range, if you've loaded it with napalm or holy promethium or something. If it's loaded with propane or something more civilian, you're talking a short range. Short enough for FLAMING CHARGE if you're not dealing with the slowest zombies.

All you really need to do is be an Ex-Army dude, a White Collar Worker, a College Student or a Jackass and you're good to go.

Failing that, call Ash.

Here's my plan:

It's the zombiepocolypse you say? Well that's wonderful. You plan on surviving you say?

Why?

All a long term survival plan is going to get you will be eaten later when you get over run. There is no way to survive the zombie Apocalypse. That's why it's called a damned apocalypse. Your best case scenario is living long enough to starve to death.

I mean, sure a few zombies show up, and it's contained to a city or two? People start making headway? Then go with your survival plan. Give it a few months to see if this happens. If it doesn't, then fuck survival. A long term survival plan vs a short term one is like the difference between dying five minutes into a video game and getting right to the last boss and then dying when you haven't saved until the end.

And not only that but you get to spend all that time in complete horror eating canned food and trying not to let the despair take you. Sounds like a fun existence.

Man, fuck that.

Instead I say get as many weapons as you can. Grenades, rocket launchers, flame throwers, assault rifles. Anything possible.

Then kill as many fucking zombies as you can.

You know why? 'cause even if they get you in the end, so long as you kill more than one zombie, you've done your good deed. Hell, have yourself strapped with explosives, like a couple grenade belts with all the pins tied together, so when the zombie horde finally gets to you, you can suicide bomb the shit out of them.

Actually, I changed my mind on going with your 'good' survival plans at first, because fact of the matter is that if everyone did this there'd be no chance of a zombie apocalypse because anyone that follows this, even if they've just got a pea shooter, oughta be able to kill at least two zombies. And if there's two zombies dying for every new zombie made, eventually they're going to run out of zombies... Unless it's airborne or zombies are 100% unkillable or some ridiculous shit that just makes surviving even worse/less likely so you aren't really losing out on anything.

Katchem? Did Zombie time just become Pokemon?

Oh, Right. AoD.

Nevermind then.

Actually, I think we should call Ash Katchem! That way every pokemon he summons will get bitten and turned into a zombie. The all the little Zombie Children will have Zombiemon to watch!

I Choose you Zombichu!

How do you kill a Pikachu that's ALREADY DEAD!

But see, if enough people survive, and they outlast the zombies, then you have the fun that is repopulating the Earth. Building a non-terrible society and all that rot. And you know that the human race that manages to survive will PROBABLY be a lot better than the one that we have now, thanks to the unnatural selection that is zombies. The smartest and the most fit will be who's left.

If you survive it will be because of people like me.

You can't outlast zombies. They're zombies. They don't get tired. They don't die of old age. They don't starve. They just horde around your hiding places and wait.

The only reason you'd 'outlast' the zombies is people like me killing them all off.

Also, if by 'better' you mean all the sociopaths. It'll be the folks with a 'smartest and most fit are the only ones allowed to live' mentality and the remaining survivors from the 'killing zombies is fucking awesome' crowd.

Not particularly a group of people I want to hang out with, to be honest.

But didn't you just say you were one of them?

If I learned anything from playing Left 4 Dead it's this, Zombies suck, but your parents suck even more so at times.

I can picture it now

Krylo and his team making their way through a building to kill more zombies. The zombie's all of the sudden start crawling into the building and attacking. They start running through the hallways and shutting doors on the Zombies to slow em down. One Team Mate thinks he'll be funny and shutting a few of the doors on the last guy running behind them. Zombies catch up to last guy while he is opening the door.

Running around killing zombies cause it's fun and awesome wont work either Krylo being a sociopath is a clear sign you'll be turned into one. Then you'll have the issue of people cracking or caving or going down right crazy. Sociopaths in a group = humanity doomed to be fucked.

First of all--says the guy who advocates leaving the children and the wounded to be eaten by zombies.

Secondly--I never said it was supposed to allow me to survive. Simply that giving up on one's own survival is both better in that the world is going to fucking suck, and in that if I can kill even two zombies before they kill me, that means the zombie horde is down by one. If I can kill twenty, that means the zombie horde is down by 19. If I kill 20 and then blow myself up when they finally catch me in a swarm, the zombie horde is probably down by like 40. Now imagine if every person did that. There would be no zombie horde rather quickly.

You guys hiding and leaving people behind as they get weak? You are ONLY increasing the size of the horde, and once the horde is done with people like me, it will be going after people like you. You aren't going to outlast them. They're zombies.

You will either eventually be eaten anyway having accomplished nothing toward the survival of humanity, or you will starve to death having accomplished nothing toward the survival of humanity... or you'll decide to kill yourself. At least I can go knowing I thinned the horde a bit to make things easier for everyone else. If you DO survive, it will be because there were enough people like me to wipe out the zombie horde. Not because there were a bunch of people like you.

Edit: And I fully plan to die so I don't have to hang out with more of me.

Touché.

Hey, Im chopping of anyones head we have to leave behind! Second, My goal is merely to have the bragging rights of being the last human survivor on earth!

But we were trying to give him some suggestions on the possibility of maybe surviving....bt we all know if a zombie apocalypse happened we'd all be fucked no matter what.

Which is why I'm in the 'fuck survival' boat.

Especially in a D20 game. I mean, really, what's the more exciting game, huddling in the military base trying to get food without being eaten, or spending a few sessions brutally murdering zombies with all the hardware you can steal?

It'd be way more exciting to invade a zombiefied city and see how far you could cleanse it before dying.

That depends on what kinds of zombies we're talking about. I'm pretty sure at least in the Zombie Survival guide it estimates you would have to live in isolation/survive for at least five years, because if the body isn't repairing itself like ours does, that's about how long before their bodies just give out and they can't do anything anymore. But on the other hand, if people are being constantly turned into zombies I'm guessing it would be a lot more than five years. Still, if you're really good, you should be able to outlast the zombie apocalypse, since you can reproduce and they can't.

Given, that means pretty much starting over and living in the most inhospitable place forever kind of thing, not just hiding out in your closet.

Sure they can.

They reproduce by weaseling their way into your strongholds and eating you.

You see, there are some places the zombies aren't going to end up. Joining a Saharan Tribe would work. Inuits would be good too, as well as in the Amazon. Any place remote really, the best your going to get is the occasional killable random zombie. You wouldn't be subject to hordes at all. You just have to be hard enough to survive the way humanity survived in the beginning of civilization, for roughly 5-10 years, then most of the animated corpses would be gone and you get to lead a tribe to New York and party.

No one has ever said "Zombie's end up running out of steam if they dont eat human meat or brains" yet, quiet frankly in most things zombies just keep unliving till you blow their heads up so unless you can go around and manage to destroy every zombie head, the apocalypse wont stop because the minute you venture out from your strong hold they will be there waiting. They could also eventually pile up high enough so they could just walk over their multitude of bodies and into your stronghold as well.

It, once again, depends on the zombie. Fast smart zombies that don't degrade, you're fucked. Romaro Zombies you have a chance against. Hell, given enough warning the mother fucking government should be able to react. There are too many zombie genre lovers in the real world for the movies to happen. Genre Saviness kicks in and one of the Zombie Hobbists has to be a leader of some sort.

there are also to many zombie genre lovers who think their plan is the best plan ever and would end up getting killed because they're to arrogant on the subject to think they're is a flaw anywhere. Most Zombie Genre lovers plans are actually really stupid and filled with holes a zombie tank could drive through.

Mine involves dying so's I don't have to live in the post zombiepocalypse, so I think it's pretty airtight.

I mean, either I succeed and then, yay plan accomplished, or I fail and yay I'm alive... I guess.

I suppose I shoulda said zombie Survival plan, not Zombie Go Out In Blaze Of Glory Plan.

Perhaps if you didn't want general discussion of the zombie apocalypse, then yes. I still think it's an interesting way to go about it, because, and you can know this by considering your own reaction, how often do you hear that argument?

Also, if I remember right Krylo, you brought up in a past thread on the topic that you have/had an ooold car, from the 60's or something, and one argument you put up was that it's heavy and solid enough to withstand running over more than enough zombies. Do you still have that in mind? Because if I was going on a killing spree, I might just forgo driving altogether, and just be a walking and killing machine, so I could climb structures.

Errrr....This really wasn't my thread to begin with and my comment was in regards to a very minimal bit of the discussion but I digress. Climbing structures when loaded to bare would be rather difficult don't you think?

My bad, I read it as though you said you had ownership of the thread or something, which would be awkward even if you did start the thread.

Depends on what I have and what I'm climbing. I'm not an athlete, but I'm hoping that I could carry a backpack of mainly weaponry and some supplies, so it wouldn't be hard to carry except for the weight. After that it depends on if I'm climbing the side of a wall, or the ladder to the top of a McDonald's or something.

I probably wouldn't even get far enough to stock my hiking backpack actually. In that case I wouldn't be carrying around too much, as I'd put it in my much smaller school bag, which can still carry a fair amount.

...I wonder how effective climbing up a tree for safety is. we've talked about whether or not zombies run or walk, but can they climb? I don't think I've heard of it.

The Left 4 Dead zombies climb freakishly fast to get at you, for one.

They climb in Left 4 Dead quiet easily, ladders, walls, even air sometimes. Even if they can't climb, enough of them clawing at a tree would topple it eventually.

Fire? This looks like a job for my input!

Well a live target is injured and dead long before a zombie falls down for a few reasons:
1) A corpse is already colder than the living, which means it's IBT and EBT are both room temperature, and the reason it's so easy to burn the living is because they are way above room temperature already.
2) Limited nerve input, seems with zombie tales they have outgoing nerve input but no incoming, so if the fire doesn't heat the brain it's basically just BBQing a walking steak.
3) Doesn't Breathe Maybe? I really doubt smoke kills zombies, or even slows them down past the visual.

On the other hand, fire is super dangerous so really there are a few factors you have to consider:
If you give a zombie a 3rd degree burn, which is that the skin is completely gone (this takes a very high temperature for at least a few seconds) you can start to actually damage the muscle. Being "on fire" is usually thought of as the scenario to cause a 3rd degree.

Now the problems are that all this heat is going to go up, not much to the brain, not much to the legs because of the way fire works.

BUT, with that much fire going around a person mostly coming from the torso as that's where the most flammable material is, this is going to create a large wall of fire for the zombie's head to rest in, which is extremely loud and extremely bright, so you should be able to take away at least half of its vision and almost all it's hearing straight away.

After about 30 seconds (guess) it will turn it's torso and arms into the consistency of grilled chicken causing the zombie to collapse.

Since the hip line is centered right over the pants, if the pants go the hips are grilled, and if the muscles are cooked the hips freeze up and the zombies simply CANNOT walk (try laying on the floor and only use the muscles in your legs to try and get around), since the arms are a part of the torso those are gone too so it can't crawl either.

Disabled zombie.

I would pay to see this on the big screen.

Yeah I have a phobia of zombies (Kinemortophobia?)...so rather then live in what I would consider my personal hell I would kill my self in such a way i cant come back...yeah...This is depressing

I think the real advantage of fires against zombies would be that zombie's stay in clusters most of the time, don't feel pain, and don't feel fear. This means that if you set a few alight in a group, you should see the fire spread relatively quickly between them as none of them would be smart enough to avoid it.

Except fire generally doesn't destroy a human body completely but very badly damage it and boil away liquids etc etc. 's why you see so many charred remains, as we're too soggy to burn properly. So in actuality you might get lucky and have a direct hit with an incendiary grenade of some sort which annihilates the brain instanteous via heat but clothing burns a lot more than flesh and it's soaked in blood most likely, so immolation on contact would be pretty rare.

Actually, fat is one of the longest and best burning fuels around. Full of oils and everything else.

"A more economical and reasonable theory of how human bodies burn in rooms without having the entire room engulfed in flames is the idea of the wick effect. The ignition point of human fat is low and to get the fire going would require an external source. Once ignited, however, a "wick effect" from the body's fat would burn hot enough in certain places to destroy even bones. To prove that a human being might burn like a candle, Dr. John de Haan of the California Criminalistic Institute wrapped a dead pig in a blanket, poured a small amount of gasoline on the blanket, and ignited it. Even the bones were destroyed after five hours of continuous burning. The fat content of a pig is very similar to the fat content of a human being."

http://www.skepdic.com/shc.html Sourced.

For the record, it takes a temperature of about 482 Fahrenheit to burn fat. A mere 31 degrees higher than that required to burn paper.

And yes, fire probably wouldn't kill zombies without long term exposure, but it would be likely to damage muscle tissue enough to reduce them to heaps of harmless undead flesh over time. Which is why you wouldn't use it to repel a horde right next to you, but you might drop a few incendiary grenades into the horde clawing at the stone walls of your safe haven.

I wouldn't kill myself immediatly in such a situation, but the idea of being torn apart and eaten scares the hell out of me so I would always have one spare bullet if I wore came to worse.

Its quite scary how flammable people actually are though it is counter intuitive in that a low temperature slow burn will destroy a lot more of a body than a high temperature fast burn. We are mostly carbon by mass, well there is more oxygen but that's mostly tied up in water, with a few other bits and pieces thrown in so its not terribly surprising we can support a fire.

I think the fire thing is because the bodies are dryer, and thus burn better... but like Krylo said, it would mostly be massive tissue damage rather than destroying the brain.

At any rate, it would probably be more effective than bullets, where the major lethality is damage to vital organs.

Not to mention if there was a virus, fire would help sterilize the area.

I maintain that in a rush blunt weaponry is best against a zombie, like a baseball bat. If you have one available though something like a sword would do well. The only problem is if there are many zombies, then you probably want some range between you and them.

EDTI: Ooh! Ooh! Or a bean bag gun, but replace the bean bags with potatoes. Just need a good aim.

Or hey, skipping that and just getting a Potato Cannon would work too.

Though unless the potato's were on fire as well, I'm not entirely sure how that'd work.

That

is

awesome

O.O

For all that have a plan to get to a military base if a zombie apocalypse happened, remember this. The base gets locked down in case of emergencies like this. No one gets in, no one gets out. Not such a good plan now, is it?

Thats a good point there... we need to buy Zombie fall out shelters!

There is a book that i used to own 4 copies of called the zombie survival guide it has everything you need.

Well, if you could get in before that, then it's an awesome thing because no more crazy survivors could come in, and no zombies would get in. So what's the problem?

And if you can't get in there from the start, then just go with one of the other plans, like going to the north, getting on an oil rig, or whatever.