On the concept of dating.
 

I've been throwing myself into this "dating scene" somewhat as of late, and during this excursion into mainstream social life, I've discovered quite a few facts and from these formulated a proposition:

I propose that any person, when communicating with another person, should inform the other party of one's current social status. That is to say that whether it is a male speaking to a female, a male to a male, a female to a female or an other to a nondescript, social status should be mentioned and described. It might come off as annoying at first to have to disclose one's social status to every complete stranger one meets at a social gathering, but it is my opinion that any person that would approach a complete stranger at a social gathering is under the influence of stimulants, born from the body in the form of hormones, or born from the outside in the form of alcohol or other. And as such, it is my opinion that any such meeting between one or more parties under the influence of a stimulant, body-born or foreign, should include a mentioning of all included parties social status. Such a mentioning would not only make the process of hooking up much easier, but it would also allow those persons who seek not a spouse, husband, partner or other platonic relation to find those persons who also seek nothing else than a like-minded individual with which to exchange witticisms and pleasantries. It is my sincere opinion that waiting with the disclosure of social status, more often than not, leads to awkward situations where one or more of the involved parties must excuse themselves in front of an affected party whom in most cases is the one to blame due to the fact that that person has not disclosed their social situation, which in most cases where awkwardness happens tends to be of the "occupied" variety.

Therefore I propose that the next time you, or anyone, speak to someone, you should, right after saying proper greeting phrases and/or mentioning of current meteorological phenomena, mention your social status. At first this procedure might induce troublesome results and some misunderstandings, but I hope that with time, this procedure will become social praxis and thus defuse most future social awkward happenings.

Good day.

Nifty idea, but people are NOT their social standing.

Yeah, no. Just learn to pick up clues. Bark up the wrong tree a while. Live a little. You'll get used to it.

I do think there ought to be a not-awkward way to ID before sex though.

If they look like they're under eighteen just ask to see their driver's license.

If they're like, "Why" be like "Because I don't want to sit through another statutory rape trail."

It's worked for me in the past. And by worked I mean it got the obviously under age girl to stop trying to get into my pants.

Well, since Oklahoma's age of consent is 16.

*ahem*

Okay it is 16 but I'm a total liar.

And somehow introducing yourself with "Hi, my name is John Doe, I'm single and looking for a ladyfriend" is supposed to be less awkward than simply finding out through conversation that the other person is already taken?

This one time I took a bet to walk up to random women and ask for sex. It was the second time I realized I was going to get a beat down if I kept doing it. And people say you are not rational when drinking.

I would like to know one guy who has never taken that bet! I took it and got slapped 15 times before I decided to concede. I was really drunk and i am really stubborn.

I don't know what to say other then, don't be way to picky about looks, you never know what you can find if you just take a chance with people.

A Lou Ferrigno boyfriend puts things in perspective.

something seems a little strange, anyway, about starting off an intoxicated conversation(or any conversation) with

"Hi, I'm Joe Schmoe, I earn less then 25k a year, I rent, I drive a late-model car and I attended Community College".

I mean...why?