After many hours worth of complete boredom, TD gets impatient. He hurls fireballs in every direction, pissing off several players. He laughs (maybe) and takes off with the Calvinball towards a new mountain range.

but he is confronted by SAAM and his Apocalypse Tank.

"Soviet Power Supreme." SAAM says as he drives the Tank over TD, crushing him completely and leaving only a smudge on the ground. SAAM then scampers out of the tank and picks up the Calvinball, but upon touching it, it's marxist powers take a hold of him, and transform him into the Slightly Above Average Soviet.

armed with a lazy work ethic and too much money spent on guns rather than butter, SAAS proceeds to build an Iron Curtain around himself and the Calvinball. He then get's loaded with Vodka and invades Afganistan while buddying up to Cuba.

Lycanthrope, finally finished revenging himself upon the gym socks, begins plotting the slow and painful demise of the Educational Testing Service.

...macbeth...

The SAAS then forges an army of Conscripts and invades Finland, however, being that they are lazy, they instead get drunk on the way.

Jadarendir asks for a hit.

The Drunken Soviets, being Communist, share the wealth and get Jadarendir Loaded. they all then begin an Irish drinking song.

"Ooooh... Eydie Dydie Dydie Dydie, Eydie Dydie Dydie!"

"Ooooooh, that night ya said my wife was fat, I knocked ya down and shit in yer hat!"

TD stublmling out of the crater, looks at the drunk fest, feels left out. He sneaks into the iron curtain and downs a few bottles of vodka, thus becoming Thunder Alcoholic Dragoon. TAD in on the Irish Drinking Song and throws up on the second verse.

Recurring nightmare?!
 

Torint wakes up from a nightmare of being attacked by a spearwielding Mr. T, to find that all is chaos! Screaming "Curse you TD!" at the top of his lungs, Torint sends TD to Torint's personal dimension, where he is ALL POWERFUL! Torint then turns TD into a ferret and kicks him in the shin.

Just then Jarlax returns from standing around and doing nothing. "I hate it when the person who controls me leaves!" he says. Jarlax sees the gate to Torint's dimension and has an evil idea. Jarlax draws an alchemy circle around the gate, and uses his powers to reverse the all powerfullness making the next person to step through the gate the one who is actually all-powerful. Jarlax smirks and steps through...
EDIT: Upon entering the dimension Jarlax sees Torint picking on TD. Having respect for TD since their last battle, Jarlax returns him to his normal form and turns Torint into the ferret. Jarlax and TD commense kicking it. (and now i'm afk untill at least 3:30... i hate school)

TD actually never being turned into a ferret in the first place because he used an reflect spell and turned a nearby bottle into the ferret, thakes the ferret and shoves it down Torints throat. Choking, Torint waves around wildly and TD rushes in and punches Torint in the gut several times. Torint collapses and TD resumes dancing like an idiot. "Thanks for the help anyway Jarlax." TD smiles, followed up by puking into a bucket.

Bill Gates, having just spent four years in the congo raising an army (its legal to do that there ya know), invades Torint's dimension and installs Winbloze, which increases Billy's power and infinitely decreases Torint's, and turns the private dimension into a nesting ground for all sorts of EVIL, for no matter how evil you are, Billy is always more so.

While Little Billy is playing with the dimension, TD spins the ball in the air, holding that creator of life in his hands. SAAM an Jada almost passed out by know slowly finish off their drinks and whisper '12 bottles of beer on the wall, 12 bottles...' TD takes a look "Wow, there really are only 12 bottles of beer on the wall. What happened to the other 87?" TD asks. SAAM barely points at the huge stack of bottles behind him. "Holy ???? !! We'll, let me have a few of the nickels, ok?" With that, TD takes off to this, 'Other dimesnion' to find out how to erase it. TD creates a wurm in time (or portal) and zips over to the dimension. There, armies worth of Imperial Cruiser's with Bill's face painted across the side. "HOLY ??? !!!!" TD yells. He turns around (yes, in space) and summons his two commadner strike force penguin team leaders. "It's Mission Time Guys!" TD yells. They strike a fancy pose and yell "TD!" "Quack 1!" and "Quack 2!". They fly over to the first ship and confront their new foe, secretivly.

Meanwhile, in the "Deathstar"....

"With the power of this station, we shall do...um...evil stuffs. Yea!"
Bill Gates' holographic picture walks into the room and stares evilly at the person who said that. "Don't be to proud of this..that sounds familiar...anyway, this Technological Terror you've constructed. It's power is insignificant, next to the power of Win20000XSP."
"Your devotion to that Hotkey religion hasn't helped you divine the wereabouts of the Calvinball."

Jarlax looks around and sees that only bill gates and TD are still fighting. So, with a shrug, Jarlax sits down and begins sharpening his weapons and regaining health.

"Nor has it helped you conjure up the stolen Deathstar plans."

"Hey, I think you ripped that line from StarWars."
"Sorry Mister Gates." Bows low to the ground.
"It doesn't matter, soon Winbloze will be installed on every computer in every plane of existance! I have you now!"
"Sorry sir, but that last, 'I have you now' was ripped from StarWars as well."
"It was? Don't correct me!" The hologram lifts his hand and clenches it into a grip-like state. The person's computer suddenly came up with the blue screen of death(actually a technical term now, apparently. Someone found it as the answer to a question on the A+ certification course on the disks).
"Nooooooooo!!!" He screamed, but it was too late. For now Winbloze was in total control, for to fix the system error, he had to buy an update, or the next version of Winbloze.

well, I grab the calvian ball. then I plead the fifth amendment. thus you can't touch me or the calvain ball

"Mortal laws no longer affect me!"
*BINK*
Lycanthrope attacks the calvin ball again.

"fif(th)" says HoP then the swat attacks you with the force of the bill of rights on its side which even deveats immortals

Ooc if any one takes fif(th) they will die

"But hah! I Have the right to bear arms!" He said, changing his type from werewolf to werebear and manifesting hybrid form, also nullifying the effectiveness of the bill of rights.

but as you start to talk, I blab out FIF(th) and you lose track of what you are saying thus what oy u said doesn't happen
YOU: I would like to say...
me:FIF
YOU: but..but
m: fif
y: huh
M:FIF
Y:all I wan't to say is
M fif
y: no
m:fif
you SHUUT
m:fif
Y: fifth amendment to strong
me : fif
Y gooo gooo gaaa gaaaa
m: fif
Y *starts druling*
thus you are defeated

I never drool. Sometimes I just salivate to excess.

"Unfortunately, Your mind games do not work against the already insane with infinite patience. Haha! Whose the monkey now! Fifth!" I say grabbing the ball and throwing it into the nearest pit!

*takes fif(th)* And appearently i'm not dead yet :D
Jarlax springs up and steals the ball from lycanthrope with a "yoink!". Jarlax then runs and hides in a forest holding his alchemy necklace in front of him to fend off pursuit.

Torint returns from his dimension leading an army of bazoooka wielding ferrets, who then blast Jarlax into oblivion. Torint picks up the alchemy necklace, duplicates it, and gives one to eack of his ferret soldiers. The combined might of the bazookas and alchemy then creates a swirling vortex that sucks up everything on the entire damn mountain.

Inside the Vortex, Jarlax draws his weapons and fights his way into its center. There he finds a way to nuetralize the vortex, and does so.

TD, realizing that while the players back in the normal galaxy are fighting for it, knows that Bill has bigger plans with it. On the cruiser, he and the two penguins dart about in the shadows, slaying Imperial Bill Guard after another. He eventually arrives at the bridge and takes control. "Attention all other star fleet members!" He announces to the other ships. "We must return at once, upon Darth Bill's warning! I repeat..." The whole star fleet returns to the DeathStar and docks onto it. TD and his attack force slowly make their way through. They take out a few guards and don's their suits. They take the elevator to the top where Darth Bill is plotting and announcing his evil plans on tape.

Meanwhile
".....and then they all came up from the ground and boinked."
"Look, mister Gates, even though we are your servants, we really, really don't want to hear about your next Porn flic."
"Don't forget the fate of your friend!"
"Sorry sir, it won't happen again."

Then the now Communist Slightly Above Average Drunk (CSAAD) staggers back onto the field.

"Lyook oud Komrad... If da Capitalist Pig uses Dat station, he could dake over North Amereca, turning Mexico into El Microsofto, Canada into Bills World, and the US into the United Gates of Amereca!"

He then fires at the Death Star with an AK-47, but seeing as it is in outer space and the AK-47 was made by lazy communists, the bullets merely fall to the ground and hit the ferret in the shin.

"Hmm....I sense....a presence."
"Sorry, Darth Bill, it was me."
"No you moron, a presence as in a being has entered onto the ship."
"Oh.....well we could send out a MSN-SWAT Team to take them out."
"No, I'll see to the matter personally."
The hologram Billy floats out of the room, and the Blue Screen of Death leaves the computers that he had caused it to appear in.

"The last thing we want it Bill's World..." TD mutters. Charging into Darth Bill's room, he takes him by suprise. Bill presses a button and several ebay windows pop-up before TD. Infuriated, TD rushes and pulls out his firebrand sword, hacking the windows to pieces. Bill's subordinates run away in fear. "Time to end this reign of terror!" TD yells. He luanches at Bill but a mysterious field blocks his path. "Ha,ha,ha..." Bill laughs. "Oh ???....." TD widens his eyes.

Suddenly, CSAAD leaps aboard into the fray.

"What the?! how did I get here?"

he blames the booze for his confusion and then slaps an anti-trust conviction against Darth Bill.

In the court, nothing happens due to Bill being late and paying off the judge to throw him the win. 2.5 million dollars richer (like that does anything) they resume there postion back in the chamber. TD asks CSAAD what they should do about the MSN Force Field around Bill.

Jarlax steps into the room. "Maybe a mirror could redirect the force field?" Hands TD and CSAAD mirrors, then convieniently(sp?) leaves again.

"Simple... we'll have to outwitt him!"

CSAAD turns to Darth Bill

"I offer a challange: a battle of wits!

If I win, you die and everything you worked to achieve will come crashing down.
If you win, I die, and control of the world, and the multiverse will go to you... forever."

Darth Bill lowers the shield and the hologram disappears. a neaby door opens, revealing Bill in his true form.

"I accept." he exclaims, his greed once again overcomming him.

"Very well." CSAAD responds, and lays out a table with two goblets filled with wine and a small vial. CSAAD opens the vial and holds it out to Darth Bill.

"Smell this."

"I smell nothing."

"That is because it is Iocane powder, smell-less, tasteless, and one of the more deadly poisons known to man."

CSAAD turns around and fiddles with the Goblets and the Iocane where Bill can't see.
he turns back and places one goblet in front of Bill and one in front of himself.

"One of these goblets of wine are poisoned. the game begins and ends when you choose, and drink."

Bill ponders for a moment and then replies.

"Very well, I've made my decision... I pick- Hey look an eagle!"

CSAAD turns around to look, while Bill switches the goblets. CSAAD looks back.

"I see nothing."

"It must have passed. anyway, let's drink, you from your glass and I from mine."

the two pick up their respective glasses and drink. Bill bursts out in laughter.

"you fool! I switched the glasses and you drank the poison! never get in a battle of wits with a nerd when death is on the line! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha-"

Then abruptly, Bill's speech stops, and he falls forward. Dead.

"The Iocane was in your glass?" asked TD.

"No. I put it in both glasses. I have spent most of my adult life building up an imunity to Iocane. our friend here didn't."

and with that, the Calvinball returned to it's rightful place, the world returned to normal. and all the races prepared for Calvinball XII.

The End.

TD and CSAAD whip the mirrors at Bill and give him mild concusions but he is still awake. "Fools! Mirrors will never defeat the power of MSN!" Bill yells, kneeling dead like. TD rushes at Bill only to be deflected once more. "Stupid Bill and his MSN. Need something stronger...."

read previous post.

Also, Jarlax: would you do the honours and start a new Calvinball?

OOC:Missed it while making my own.And Jarlax should start the new one.

Well Jarlax just left... I thought it would be nice to let him have a go at it.

oh well...

In light of his absence, would you please do the honors TD?

OOC: Nice ending. One problem, but it's rather minor. The Bill that you guys saw was a hologram. You can't kill him through the hologram. But other than that it was genius.

it was a means to an end. this thread is way too long as it is and we need a new one. the devil is in the details. If it's so important to you, I just edited it.

Done