MASS EFFECT TWO: GIVE GARRUS A HUG
 

YEAH WE'RE STILL PLAYING THIS SHIT

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HELL FUCKING YEAH WE'RE STILL PLAYING MASS EFFECT 2 IT'S ONLY BEEN OUT A WEEK AND I'VE BANGED SO MANY SPACE ALIENS I DON'T CARE THAT I FAILED THE FINAL MISSION AND EVERYONE DIED GO SPACE ALIEN SEX.


ONE OF THEM MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PEDO THOUGH

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PS. YOUR OLD ROMANCES ARE JERKS ABOUT YOU BEING A TERMINATOR WORKING FOR AN EVIL TERRORIST CELL I GUESS THEY DON'T LIKE IT FUCK YOU KAIDEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME PALLING AROUND WITH THE EVILEST CUNT IN THE GALAXY YOU CAN GET OUT.

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JOKER YOU'RE MY NEW RIGHT HAND MAN.

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DR. PEPPER POWERS ACTIVATE HELL YOU CAN'T GET THIS SHIT FROM SPRITE.

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THAT'S ZAEED, THE FREE DLC CHARACTER. HE'S A BADASS MERCENARY WHO'S A BAZILLION YEARS OLD AND ONE DAY AWAY FROM RETIREMENT I HOPE HE LIVES BUT HONESTLY HAS SOME REALLY GOOD LINES SOME OF THEM ARE KIND OF SAD.

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LIARA KINDA STONEWALLED ME I WAS LITTLE SURPRISED BY THAT SHE GAVE ME A KISS AND THEN LIKE THAT WAS IT NO SPACE SEX I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BUSY GOD DAMN IT WOMAN SLASH MAN SLASH STEM CELL MACHINE I WANT MORE NAKED BRAIN SEX.


DISCUSSION GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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you're a dirty bastard DFM

All that alien sex does kind of give a new spin to the phrase "in space, no one can hear you scream" though.

Yeah I'm 25 hours in right now, though I'm doing pretty much everything. Almost have full loyalty on the crew.

Aaaand still loving it. Favourite crew are Tali, Miranda, Grunt, and Mordin, in that order. Weeeeeeeeee!

IF YOU ROMANCED ANYONE THAT IS NOT TALI' ZORAH VAS NORMANDY, I HATE YOU.

IF YOU THINK ANYONE OTHER THAN GARRUS IS THE BEST PERSON TO HAVE AROUND WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN, YOU ARE ALSO ON MY HATRED LIST.

TALI IS THE ONE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PEDO

IT'S LIKE I KNEW HER WHEN SHE WAS JUST A KID MAN, IT FEELS KINDA MESSED UP

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YEAH LIKE THAT

ALSO GARRUS IS MY 1# BEST BRO AND/OR ROMANCE OPTION

HE'S AWESOME, FUNNY AND HIS VOICE MAKES ME WEAK

Edit: PICTURE WORK AGAIN DAMNIT

YEAH.
THE THING WAS THAT I WASN'T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO ZAEED WHEN HE EXPLAINED WHAT WE WERE DOING HIS LOYALTY MISSION FOR OR AGAINST WHO.

HAD I KNOWN THAT WE WOULD BE WIPING OUT MORE OF THE BLUE SUN SCUMBAGS THAT HURT GARRUS, I'D HAVE CARPET BOMBED THAT PLANET FROM ORBIT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER LEAVING OMEGA.

Would like to advise caution. Warn of chafing.

Seriously though Garrus + Mordin + Vanguard Shep = unstoppable team.

In other news: I was very, VERY disappointed by Legion's moveset. It's identical to Tali's except for a useless shield buff. You'd think that for a geth they could think of some more original abilities, but nooo! Furthermore, this character has proficiencies with better weapons than Tali, which basically means that you have NO reason to use Tali unless they're both in your team at once (which, granted, leads to funny stuff in the Migrant Fleet).

The game came out a whole week ago can I please stop spoilering details about this character can I huh can I

Also I would like to say that renegade options for settling crew disputes on the Normandy are great. Shepard literally walks in on people arguing, yells "Both of you shut THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW." and leaves and they're like "Shit I guess we'd better shut up."


Tali so has a girl crush on me, too. She's always way grateful and nervous around me I half think she's going to go human and bi.


And Garrus is a mover and a shaker in the bedroom.

"If you were a Turian, I'd compliment your fringe and your waist. So your... hair, is nice. And your waist looks... supportive."

"Look on the bright side, Shepard. Even if this ends up being the saddest, most awkward attempt at interspecies intercourse in galactic history, we can always bump up the suicide mission."


Edit: Seriously though he's pretty sweet.

Best thing bout romancing Garrus though. Mordin's medical advice.
SPOILERED for those who want to encounter it themselves.
To Fem Shepard "Turian body chemicals can create a allergic reaction in humans when ingested so.... don't ah... ingest...."

But yeah liked the cast even more than the first. Also the ads were hilarious.

Also beat the final boss today. HOLY FUCK. MACHINE CTHULU CYBORG TERMINATOR. SO. AWESOME.

I HAVE A COPY BUT I HAVEN'T GOTTEN INTO IT YET CAUSE I WAS BUSY WORKING MY WAY THROUGH OTHER GAMES

I'M GOING TO PRETTY SOON AND MY ROOMMATE IS WORKING ON HIS GAME, WHEN I SAW THAT GARRUS COMES BACK I WAS SUPER EXCITED CAUSE HE WAS MY FAVORITE TEAMMATE IN THE FIRST ONE

SO YEAH SUPER PUMPED FOR THIS GAME STILL, WISH I HAD TIME