TD gets up and wipes the piss off his face. In a drunken manner, he pulls out his sword and slashes away at the 7 1/2 Drunkrendirs.

SAAL proceeds to turn TD into a goat, and then carries him around on a leash and milks him whenever SAAL get's thirsty...

Just like Gandhi!

TD, his ultimate fear being fulfilled, runs around in panic. He shamshes into Jada and passes out and reverts back to normal.

Fortunately, TD even missed the Drunkrendirs that weren't real.

Drunkrendir squirts TD in the face with his own milk and sends all the Minidrunkrendirs after him.

TD panics, in a drunken state. He summons penguins, TD's, monkeys, tricycles,garden hoses...anything. He pants heavily as stuff grows into a mountain.... on top of himself.

Psymon arrives at the party and stands by the drinks vending machine.

"Man, This party ROCKS."

TD, after crawling through the mountain of junk, emerges at the top. "I can see my house from here!" he exclaims. With garden hose on his head, soap in one hand, scotch in another, a roller blade on one foot and a sandal on the other, a parrot on his shoulder and a rubber ducky on the other, a hawaiian shirt on and ski pants to match he races down the hill. "Yes Mr. Maltheson the coconuts are good this year. And by the way, have you seen my car? i think a dude took it. No Mr. Snoopy-Dog! Not the golf club!" TD wavers in and out of conciusness several times.

then, SAAL appears beside him while speaking jibberish, and turns him back into a goat, he then takes the Scotch, drinks from it, and dances a Jig on top of the Dragoon-Goat.

Osterbaum then appears beside to SAAL and TD. He kicks SAAL down of the mountain, grabs another scotch, drinks the scotch and claims: "HAH! I win!" He then quiqly takes his own magic wand and turns everyone he can to an elephant. Osterbaum then jumps and starts to fly like a bird. "Yay...this is fun."

Zoam appears on the field completely sober. Remembering how much he hates to be the only sober guy at a party he downs a bottle of tequila, giving his ninja penguins a few shots as well. Thusly hammered, he faces off against the SAAL using his drunken master style kung fu. A few bar stools to the face later, SAAL aint feeling so good.

SAAL pukes. he gets up off his knees and grabs Zoam by the hair.

"It's time to Kiss the Blarney Stone Biatch!" and with that he begins to savagely punch Zoam in the teeth and gums. he then spins him around and boots Zoam in the ass so hard that Zoams nose starts to bleed.
SAAL then sings an Irish Melody, which causes Zoam to turn into a horseshoe, and turnes TD into a Clover. SAAL steals the calvinball and starts prancing away, yelling "they'll never catch me Lucky Charm!

oh but I will
hop goes to a new form that has the same acranym Hooked on Phonix.
I grab you with my hook and say "time to be readin, for you" (hooked on phonix has no refernces to grammar) and I pull you to the library as you scream all the way there.

"Hey, a bar fight!" exclaims Jarlax. "Since i'm not drunk, i should have the upper hand here!" Jarlax trips SAAL, and kicks HoP in the back of the knees. Then proceeds to throw the cavinball to himself by running really fast. Playing an odd game of monkey-in-the-middle.

OOC Wow CB has gone a long way for those of you who don't know ask Jady and SAAM what my guuy does for the most part I only have him appear once or twice maybe three times in calvin ball games...

Spirit The Avatar Of Vengance and Rythm and Demi Avatar of Creamy Goodness tossess up the guitar into the air "Who ever can play the appropriate song on that guitar can summon characters from movies and or TV Shows behold!" The Avatar lept inot the air grabbed the guitar and played the Crazy 88's theme from the original Kill Bill and poof the Crazy 88 appeared! Then Spirit spoke "Umm yeah you guys just hang out here for a while..."
Then he looked upon the CB Players and said unto them " I shall return! As always! I leave my gear here for all to use just remember be wise with it!" And Spirit dissapeared from the playing feild leaving his gear and the Crazy 88 behind...

"wait who said I was drunk" then HoP 2.0 grabed jarlax in the same faction as Lyconthrope and ties them both to a chair forcing them to read war and peace in one sitting

Jarlax reads very fast, so he finished already. he then throws the book at HoP knocking his head clean off. "WOW, that book is REALLY heavy!"

no you were tied down and plus I am amune to books

"now you must have the alphabet sung in your head a x1000 speed over and over thus puting you in a trance

you:I must obay
me: you must read
y:yes master
m:bhahahahahah
y: I will read forever

SAAL then picks up an extremely large book and opens it for HoP to see. as HoP leans in to read the small print, SAAL slams the book shut, crushing HoP's nose... loony toons style.

SAAL then grabs the guitar and begins to play the the theme to 13 Days. as a result, all others are bored to death as JFK and his staff appear to teach them about the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Intrigued, SAAL then plays a song from the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights. as a result, all players are now wearing pantyhose, HoP has turned blind, Jarlax becomes Dyslexic, and TD turns into Dave Chapelle.

SAAL plays a little tune on the guitar, and sings "They're magically delicious!"

Since HoP is in a book, and blind at the moment Jarlax comes out of his trance. Although he is dyslexic, that doesn't stop him from being able to fight! Jarlax tears into HoP with flashing claws and teeth, ending with a powerful two-handed sword slash.

TD, sobered up by now, snaps his fingers and reverts himself back to normal. He enters into the bar fight and starts off by smashing HoP a few times in the face with the broken end of a Scotch bottle. He rounds up to SAAL and stuffs his face full of Trix. Repulsed, SAAL pukes his guts out. TD peers out of his eye. "NOOOOO!!" he rushes over and grabs the box of Trix from the rabbit. "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!" With that, he loads the Trix into an AK-47 and fires at Jarlax. Impaled by marshmallows and grain, he falls to the ground. SAAL gets up only to meet a box of Mini-Wheats.

SAAL then plays on the guitar, the Captain Crunch music. Captain Crunch appears and starts beating on TD with a rusty hook. he then gives TD a wedgie... the painfulness of which had never been felt before.

After changing his underwear, TD tears after SAAL once more. He blows a high pitched whistle and brings out a basketball. Tony the Tiger comes in, grabs the basketball and smashes SAAL in the face. Afterwards, Tony slashes away at SAAL with huge deep cuts in his stomach. "Gonna feel that in the morning?" TD asks.

"Nope!" replies SAAL and summons Count Chocula to suck all the grease out of TD's body.

Enraged once more, TD summons the Honey Nuts Bee and his whole hive. They 'race' for the taste of the Count and he is left helpless. Afterwards, they charge for SAAL, who inflates like a ballon due to all the stings.

During all of this, Lycanthrope slipps away, takes the calvinball and then throws it in the vat of whiskie, where it quickly disintegrates, then alters his aspect slightly, and pulls out bagpipes.

"Ph34r the piper!" he said, with full knowledge that all of his skill points lie with stringed instruments, not wind.

however, the inflation is brought down by the Government, which wishes for business to be more productive. SAAL then shoves Tookan Sam up TD's Ass.

"I guess following your nose isn't such a good Idea."

SAAL breaks out his own bagpipes, but being Irish... he too doesn't know how to play.

Jarlax, having spent quite a while recovering from the marshmellows and grain bullets, gets up and gets the Calvinball out of the vat (the Calvinball is indestructable). He then sets it on the ground and sits next to it. Waiting....

Lycanthrope mumbles "There must be a way of destroying that damnable calvinball..."

then HoP comes back from his music concert and chooses to play his cool drum solo parts thus making his opponants dance to the funky beat of bristal bay legends, wild wild west, glen miller, American heros march, crulela de vil, and beauty and beast.

Can I Jion?
 

Hello to all the people who are bothering to read this. I am a new player and wish to jion you calvin ball game. Thanks

Zoam has spent the past few hours recording the Imperial march onto a tape recorder, he presses play and summons Darth Vader. Ol' Darthy boy starts decapitating everyone, (with his lightsaber of course) and shooting force lightning into the air. "I find your lack of faith disturbing Slightly Above Average Man"

"I have more than enough faith in the Force, oh condom suited doofus." SAAL replies, and unleashes the Slightly Above Average Wang, which grows out like a lightsaber.

"we'll settle this the old fashioned way: first guy to die... Loses!"

and with that SAAL slices out the kneecaps of Darth Vader. suddenly, he transformes into Slightly Above Average Darth, and begins to strangle the life out of Zoamelgustar's nuts with the Force.

Then Jadarendir, undrunken and not dead (somehow) whips out the MASS, which glows with a red light.

"If you only knew the POWER... of the Dork Side.

SAAD starts talking in a deep rhasping voice:

"I have been waiting for you Oh Big One. when I left I was but the Learner, now I am the master."

and with that he uses his Blue Glowing LightSAAWer in an overhead strike at Jadarendir's head.

Jadarendir parries the attack.

"You're only a master of cheetos, SAAD."

SAAD once again strikes with a vertical blow, hoping to slice him in half.

"your powers are-" *Cough Cough*

SAAD pulls out a puffer and inhales, his voice is now small and nerdish.

"Your powers are weak old man... you should not have come!"

"I haven't come yet!!"

Then Natalie Portman walked onto the field.

"Oh, shit..."

Suddenly, SAAD's LightSAAWer grows tenfold.

"Jadarendir! I have someting to tell you. Will never told you who yo daddy is."

"I'm yo Daddy!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Then Jadarendir sat down and started eating a pie.

"Ooo-Kay, that was weird," said Ark.

"I have something else to tell you...

I am your brother's, Nephews, cousin's, uncle's, Former room-mate!"

"And what does that make us?"

"Absolutely Nothing! which is what you are about to become!"

and then strikes at Jadarendir's kneecaps.

With a mighty "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the Minirendirs (Minime... Minirendirs... get it?) charged SAAD, carrying him away. Then they put him down and started beating him with their MiniMASSes.

and suddenly, with a loud series of *Squeaks,* a hoard of Imps flooded in and carried away Jadarendir, then started beating him with their Implike powers.

It took only a single sweep of the MASS to clear the imps away. Unfortunately, Jada also cleared away the rest of the field and left only the Calvinball, which he picked up. Then he looked around and discovered that he was alone... all alone...

"I guess I win."

Then he sat down and started dribbling the ball silently.

Then the ground shook and cracks formed in the ground before him. SAAD, erupted out of the ground and hovered in the air.

"If you will not turn, then you will Meet Your Destiny!!!"

He threw his wang at the rafters that Jada was... suddenly.... on..... and knocked them down. Jada hid.

"You cannot hide forever, Jada."

"Watch me."

"You pants betray you, young one. Your feelings for all hot ass chicks are strong... especially for... your SISTER?! EW! DUDE! Your pants have now betrayed her too!"

"Everyone knows that I don't HAVE a sister, you bastard!"

"Oh, right, I was reading my own thoughts. Dang. Well... If you won't go for the Slightly Above Average Wang... Then perhaps yo' MAMA will... again!"

"NEVER!!... again!"

A fierce wang battle ensued, but in the end SAAD twisted his SAAW and had to forfeit.

"Jada... help me take... these pants off..."

"But I'll die!"

"Nothing... can stop that now..."

"Yes. Yes it can."

"Just shut up and take 'em off!"

Jada pulled the pants off with just his index finger and thumb, looking disgusted the whole time. Once they were off, he was crushed by the SAAW.

"Aaaah!" SAAD said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Jadarendir screamed.

And then a banana came.

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!

And it was good.

The End.

More to come in Calvinball XIII!