Man I always thought golf would be great if they allowed the other players to tackle each other during putting or to run across and try to knock the golf ball away before it went into the hole during a putt.

Look I'm not saying there aren't people who like boxing I'm just saying there are people who like Transformers 2 and Tim Buckley comics and I don't feel any obligation to understand those people soooooooo

Boxing takes the spectacle of two men beating each other to death and removes all the visceral thrill of violence and bloodletting and replaces it with people spending two decades developing brain damage. It's like NASCAR if the car crash took twenty years and then the driver gets out of the car and shakes and slurs his speech until you're so fucking depressed you can barely breathe. It's "violence" for people who can't actually stomach violence so they make people inflict long-term permanent mental debilitation on each other to spare themselves the sight of a dude breaking his knuckles on a guy's forehead.

Well, when you put it that way I agree with you: boxers should wear steel gauntlets or fight bare knuckle. Actually, one hand should have a steel gauntlet and the other should be bare and part of the strategy is blocking with the correct hand at the right time or your bare hand is crushed by your opponent's gauntlet. Man, that would be an awesome sport, I'm going to propose we move to that one. Everything goes but blows to the head or below the belt, okay, and the object is to shatter your opponent's torso bones until the submit.. Man, this is going to be a great sport and I see lots of room for strategy and skill in it, too.

Oddly enough, I love arbitrary outcomes. It's odd. It's part of the reason I watch golf, half the time there is absolutely no reason for the ball to almost go in and then somehow skitter out but it happens sometimes, or why does the ball break for all the other players on a particular hole but then somebody will hit it apparently the same and it won't break at all. Poker is the same thing, there's so much to chance it's extremely enjoyable. It's just very enjoyable to me for some reason.

Check it out, I'm so good at arguing I can convince people of things that have literally nothing whatsoever to do with what I said http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/t...icons/smug.gif

Steel gauntlets might hurt their hands, though. I suggest knuckledusters and bracers as an alternative.

The steel gauntlets should have sharp ridges on the knuckles? Okay, Fifth, that does sound pretty awesome, let's throw that in there.

These boxers need to quit being such pussies, jeez. You ask a UFC fighter to fight in a back alley steel gauntlet brawl and all they ask you is, "Stainless steel okay?"

Oh, fine, but no pussy smooth gauntlets or simple edges. Knuckledusters are better than that. If we're going to go gauntlets, we need to go with spikes. Modest ones, of course. No need to perforate organs, but some nice quarter-inchers should be good.

Yeah, Cestuses all the way (Cesti?). People can wear helmets since head blows aren't even allowed just in case of accidents. The only question now is what to call our new sport.

Neo-Greco Boxing. Or maybe Revival-Style Boxing. Early forms were reputed to use spikes, so express that in a way that sounds good and you're set.