Episode of The Simpsons, "Ces-(annoyed grunt)-da"
 

My goal in life is to be a writer, and my preferred medium that of the screenplay. Granted you don't get as much credit as the people who write prose, but it just comes more naturally to me. To that end, I decided to write a Simpsons episode and I'm actually pretty proud of it. I look forward to constructive criticism though.

Please help me hone my craft.

EDIT #2: Okay, I separated it into parts so I could still upload the .doc file (and keep all the formatting). Sorry, that was the only way I could figure it.

EDIT #3: And even then it screwed up in a few places... My apologies. I'd also like to take this opportunity to say you should use Microsoft Works Word Processor, that's what I typed it in.

Okay, I realize some people may not want to download a bunch of files (especially from someone so new) so here goes. Keep in mind the formatting has been redone for forum viewing:


A LOGO FOR "COPS: IN SPRINGFIELD". APPEARS ON SCREEN.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

CAMERA MAN'S POV:

EDDIE AND LOU ARE CHASING BEHIND CHIEF WIGGUM, PURSUING SNAKE JAILBIRD ON FOOT. SNAKE STARTS TO CLIMB A FENCE BUT GETS ELECTROCUTED AND FALLS TO THE GROUND, SMOLDERING AND MOANING IN PAIN. WIGGUM LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.


HE LOOKS DOWN, THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN TO SHOW THAT SNAKE IS HOLDING A GUN.



INT. POLICE CRUISER - LATER

CAMERA MAN'S POV:

CHIEF WIGGUM AND LOU ARE IN THE FRONT SEATS; EDDIE IS SITTING ON THE FAR LEFT WITH SNAKE BETWEEN HIM AND THE CAMERA MAN.


THEY ALL SIT SILENTLY FOR A MOMENT.



E/I. JAILBIRD'S MOTEL ROOM - LATER STILL

CAMERA MAN'S POV:

CHIEF WIGGUM UNLOCKS THE DOOR AND STEPS IN. HE TURNS ON THE LIGHT TO REVEAL A COMPLETELY BARE ROOM, EXCEPT THAT THERE'S AN ORANGUTAN LYING ON THE BED. WIGGUM'S MOUTH HANGS OPEN.

CLICK

THE CAMERA TURNS AROUND AND SNAKE IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE LOCKED DOOR; HE POINTS AT CHIEF WIGGUM.


THE CAMERA IS STILL FOCUSED ON SNAKE. CHIEF WIGGUM CRIES OUT IN PAIN WHILE THE RANGUTAN SHRIEKS ANGRILY.


E/I. POLICE CRUISER - DAWN

THE ORANGUTAN, NOW HEAVILY SEDATED, IS STRAPPED TO THE ROOF OF THE CAR.

CAMERA MAN'S POV:


OVERLAPPING WITH THE LAST OF HIS DIALOGUE, A MESSAGE APPEARS BELOW THAT READS "ORANGUTAN NOW AVAILABLE AT LOCAL POLICE AUCTION"

REVEAL:

INT. SIMPSON HOME - DAY

HOMER IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE TV WITH HIS ARMS IN THE AIR.


THE REST OF THE FAMILY RUSH INTO THE LIVING ROOM.


CLOSE ON: LISA'S FACE

LISA (CONT'D)
Besides, an orangutan is part of the
great ape family. Monkeys have tails.

REVEAL: VISIBLE THROUGH THE WINDOW, HOMER IS RUNNING OUT TO THE CAR.


HONK-- EVERYONE WALKS OUT OF THE DOOR AT AN APATHETIC PACE, EXCEPT FOR BART WHO LOOKS CONCERNED.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - CONTINUOUS

HOMER AND LISA ARE SITTING IN THE CAR, BART STANDS OUTSIDE THE DOOR.


BART SHRUGS AND GETS INTO THE CAR.


EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - LATER

AN OLDER MAN STANDS AT A PODIUM WITH A GAVEL.


EVERYONE IS SILENT.


COMIC BOOK STORE GUY HOLDS UP A CLOTH WITH A MOVING RORSCHACH TEST ON IT.


EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS

BARNEY IS LEADING THE ORANGUTAN TO THE PLOW KING, HOLDING ITS HAND.

BARNEY
Now you get into the passenger
seat and I can use the carpool
lane to get to MOE'S in time
for happy hour.

BARNEY SITS DOWN, SNAKE JAILBIRD IN AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT PEERS
THROUGH THE WINDOW FROM THE TRUCK BED. AS BARNEY PULLS OUT
OF THE PARKING LOT, AN OMINOUS SCORE STARTS TO PLAY.





INT. FAMILY SEDAN - DUSK

THE FAMILY SITS IN THEIR USUAL POSITIONS IN THE CAR, THE DEEP FRYER IS IN THE BACK.


IN THE BACKGROUND, THE PLOW KING DRIVES ALONGSIDE THE CAR. THE BACK WINDOW IS BROKEN AND BARNEY IS TIED UP IN THE TRUCK-BED. SNAKE IS DRIVING WHILE THE ORANGUTAN PLAYS AIR GUITAR IN THE PASSENGER SEAT.


HOMER SWERVES JUST IN TIME TO MAKE AN EXIT ON THEIR LEFT.

E/I. THE PLOW KING - CONTINUOUS

SNAKE TURNS HIS HEAD AND LOOKS TOWARDS THE BACK WINDOW.


SNAKE ISN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO THE ROAD WHILE HE TALKS, THE ORANGUTAN GRABS THE WHEEL TO AVOID ONCOMING TRAFFIC.


SNAKE GETS A SLIGHTLY ANNOYED LOOK ON HIS FACE AND TOSSES THE BAG BEHIND HIS SHOULDER. A STRING OF SEVERAL BENDY STRAWS EMERGES FROM THE HOLE IN THE BACK WINDOW AND JABS SNAKE IN THE FACE.


INT. SIMPSON HOME/KITCHEN - NIGHT

HOMER IS HOLDING A SAUSAGE ON A SKEWER; HE WRAPS A SLICE OF BACON AROUND IT AND DIPS IT IN A JAR OF BUTTER.


MARGE LEAVES; HOMER FRIES THE SAUSAGE AND EATS IT IN ONE BITE.


LISA PICKS UP TWO POTATOES; THROWS ONE TO HOMER AND STARTS CUTTING THE OTHER ONE RAW.


BART WALKS IN THE ROOM AND SITS DOWN.


HOMER STICKS THE POTATO ON A SKEWER AND FRIES IT; WALKS OFF EATING IT. LISA LOOKS ON, CONCERNED; BART IS UNFAZED.

INT. SIMPSON HOME/MASTER BEDROOM - LATER

HOMER'S STOMACH RUMBLES WHILE HE LIES IN BED.


INT. SIMPSON HOME/KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

HOMER WALKS TO THE FRYER AND SEES A PADLOCK WITH A NOTE FROM MARGE.


HE OPENS THE FRIDGE AND PULLS OUT A STEAK; LOOKS AT IT,
SHRUGS AND STARTS EATING IT RAW.

E/I. MOE'S - DAY

SNAKE IS HOLDING A GUN TO BARNEY'S BACK IN THE PARKING LOT,
BARNEY IS SOBER, BUT HIS HAIR IS STILL MESSY.


BARNEY WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR, THE BAR FLIES ARE IN THERE USUAL PLACE; HOMER IS INHALING A BOWL OF PEANUTS.


BARNEY SITS DOWN AND INTERRUPTS.


HE PULLS OUT HIS WALLET TO FIND THAT IT'S EMPTY.


BARNEY LEAVES WITH AN ANGRY EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.


SLAM-- MOE TURNS TO HOMER AND SITS A PLATE WITH A BRICK DOWN ON THE COUNTER.


BARNEY KNOCKS THE GUN FROM SNAKE'S HAND.


BARNEY STANDS AND THINKS FOR A MOMENT. HE HUGS SNAKE, THEN
PUSHES HIM OUT OF THE WAY AND GETS IN THE PLOW KING. HE
COMBS HIS HAIR BACK AND DRIVES AWAY, STILL UPSET.


SNAKE BREAKS INTO A CAR AND HOT WIRES IT, THE BAR DOOR OPENS
AS HE DRIVES OFF.


HOMER COMES OUT OF THE BAR, HOLDING HIS STOMACH LIGHTLY.


HOMER GETS IN HIS CAR AS LENNY GOES BACK INSIDE.


LENNY SITS DOWN NEXT TO CARL.


INT. FAMILY SEDAN - CONTINUOUS

HOMER IS A FEW BLOCKS AWAY FROM MOE'S.


INT. SIMPSON HOME/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

MARGE IS IN BED ALONE, THE BATHROOM DOOR IS OPEN.


HOMER COLLAPSES NEXT TO THE BED, MARGE GETS UP AND KNEELS DOWN NEXT TO HIM.





INT. DR. HIBBERT'S OFFICE - DAY

HOMER IS SITTING IN THE EXAMINATION CHAIR LOOKING ANNOYED,
NOW EVEN THINNER; MARGE IS NEXT TO HIM. DR. HIBBERT WALKS IN.


INT. DR. HIBBERT'S OFFICE - LATER

AN X-RAY OF HOMER'S STOMACH IS ON THE PROJECTOR,
INFESTED WITH A LARGE TAPEWORM.


INT. SIMPSON HOME/LIVING ROOM - DUSK

HOMER IS SITTING ON THE COUCH BETWEEN BART AND LISA,
MARGE IS HOLDING A TIMER.


MARGE SITS THE TIMER ON THE TABLE.


HOMER LOOKS AT HIS WATCH FOR A MOMENT.


HOMER STARTS TWIDDLING HIS THUMBS, THE REST OF THE FAMILY LOOK AROUND AWKWARDLY. HOMER GRABS THE REMOTE AND TURNS ON THE TV.


SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER LETS OUT A SCARED YELP.
EVERYONE CONTINUES TO FIDGET NERVOUSLY.


HOMER RUSHES TOWARDS THE KITCHEN, THE FAMILY LEAPS AT HIM
AND GRAB HIS ANKLES. HOMER LIES DOWN AND STARTS WHIMPERING.


CLOSE ON: HOMER FALLS ASLEEP AND STARTS SNORING.


INT. SIMPSON HOME/LIVING ROOM - LATER

TIMER BUZZING

HOMER GETS UP, MARGE IS HOLDING A PLASTIC CUP WITH A PILL IN IT.


HOMER TAKES THE PILL AND CHEWS IT.


HOMER CLUTCHES HIS STOMACH, THEN RUNS FOR THE BATHROOM.