I am totally re-pulsed by your puns in that gym battle. Go on, my friend.

The sear amount of rage in that last update made my day.

Can't wait for the next update.

Oh god. Worst fears realized.

HM01 is Slice. Trees are replaced by little kids

I was holding out hope that it might've been something harmlessly dumb, like "scare", or something. I didn't want to believe the game was that depraved.

Why are you collecting gym badges? I'm a bit lost

what makes you think her pokemon wouldn't join in and get sore as well
Trainers gonna train, hookers gonna hook.

Tch. Should have waited another month before posting.

Ohm my god, I have had it with all these puns. I don't mean to be negative, but they're all old as well. Don't you have any more current jokes?

This one's only about two thirds of the way done. Stuff keeps coming up, and I haven't had much time to sit down and finish.

The game is always that depraved. Always.

Pretty much because A) Giovanni told him to, and B) it's a decent way for his pet monstrosities to gain experience.

This is bullshit: I'm going to write a bunch of it, fall asleep, and post tomorrow.
 

TOKEN, WHAT THE HELL. You forgot to finish the last update for almost a MONTH. JEGUS FUCK. I'm going to post the last half of chapter four and the entirety of chapter five right the fuck now.

Scratch that. Going on hiatus until A) this headache is gone, B) I'm not depressed as shit, and C) I can go a day without a medical dilemma. Sorry. I just can't do this right now; there's been a lot going on in my life, it's all starting to overflow, and I don't have the energy to try to be funny right now.

Hey man, whatever you need. There's no reason to put a letsplay over yer health. Whenever you're ready.

*hug* Don't wear yourself out just because of us. Get yourself some good rest, maybe fill up on some good holiday comfort food.

Thirded. This can wait, conquer your real-life stuff first. God knows you've got enough.

Chapter 5: Slash and Slash
 

Token update: Life is still shitty, still in the hiatus-y mood, but I've got a few hours until my next class. No guarantee as to when the next bit will be up. The Christmas special, on the other hand, will be up in March.

No, that was not a joke.

Asshat update:

http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/141.png
Yes, I want the frikking Cutter. Why else would I even be in your stupid cave-home thing?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/142.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/143.png
Fucking Roc... Oh, right. They're with me. Good on 'em.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/144.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/145.png
I... really have no response to that. :raise:
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/146.png
I care so very little.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/147.png
Dammit, Clark, I'm sorta busy here. Got henchmen to meet up with.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/148.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/149.png
And then Clifford burned the rock until it stopped moving.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/150.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/151.png
And then Squick did Dennis-knows-what to the other two.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/152.png
Yeah, sure, whatthefuckever.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/153.png
Oh, fantastic! Maybe now it will be less hideous!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/154.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/155.png
This is what happens when i hope for things. :(
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/156.png
Seeing as my dog-lizard-hellbeast just learned a Fighting type move, yeah.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/157.png
Have I mentioned I hate you and everyone like you?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/158.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/159.png
That's not even a Dark type, you lying fucknugget!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/160.png
LIES. Nothing but lies.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/161.png
Only in the privacy of my own... that is not even remotely what you were talking about.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/162.png
Um. I realize that as an executive in a criminal organization, I'm not exactly the best role model. But do you really think it's wise to start partying when you're eight?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/163.png
That's hardly the way to respond to advice. :I
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/164.png
The best way to confront these abominations is the judicious use of fire.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/165.png
Yeah, maybe.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/166.png
Lying is not cool. :raise:
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/167.png
Neither is looking pretty much exactly like that boy I just defeated.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/168.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/169.png
Y'know, I'm still not entirely sure what I'm looking at.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/170.png
Who even says "cool" anymore? All the winners say "schway."
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/171.png
Fun fact: Your classmates hate you. :knowledge:
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/172.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/173.png
Anyone wanna explain to me why the popo have their own tunnel? Are my teammates really that inept what am I even saying of course they are.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/174.png
The boss arranged a rendezvous in the one place in the region that is named after the police. That's either really stupid, or really ballsy.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/175.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/176.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/177.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/178.png
Yeah, 'kay.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/179.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/180.png
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/181.png
Yeah, I got it.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/182.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/183.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/184.png
I just fucking said I remembered the plan. Get out of my cave. :crossarms:
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/185.png
Exploran'!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/186.png
Helpan' the elderly!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/187.png
Findan' bitchan' shades!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/188.png
What no. These aren't spectacles. These are shades. The difference is that they are bitchin'.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/189.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/190.png
I just... y'know what, fuck it.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/191.png
These are yours now.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/192.png
Oh hey, a shiny.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/193.png
Already have a regular one, but what the hey. I'm a sucker for fabulousness.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/194.png
Because "Goldbug" would have been too obvious.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/195.png
Might as well complete my mission or whatever.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/196.png
Except a way out of this hellhole.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/197.png
Oh. Uh, good job on them, I guess.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/198.png
Hey! That's a load of... yeah, it wouldn't surprise me.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/199.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/200.png
Couldn't you just ask them to move? :raise:

EARLIER, ON AN ENTIRELY UNRELATED NOTE.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/201.png
Y'know what I hate, Tarantulas? Fucking shrubs, everywhere. Can't take one mewdamn step without seeing a fucking tree that needs to be cut down. So, this is your purpose. If you see any tiny green and brown shrubs, you cut the fuck out of those motherfuckers. Got it? Good boy. We will be friends forever until I move to Kanto and leave you behind forever.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE PRESENT.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/202.png
Yes. Yes he is.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/203.png
Nah. I'm a jerk, but I'm not that much of an assho-
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/204.png
What.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/205.png
What?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/206.png
WHAT!?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/207.png
My fabulous bug is covered in the bloodstains of a small child. How do you think I'm doing?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/208.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/209.png
I mean, yeah, the kid would have grown up to annoy me. There's no doubt about that. But... killing it?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/210.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/211.png
That just seems sort of wrong. And no one in the building so much as zubats an eye about it!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/212.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/213.png
I mean, really... hang on, what?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/212.png
http://i51.tinypic.com/3338wuq.gif Godspeed, men. Godspeed.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/218.png
Yeah, I set up the Voltorb.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/219.png
Oh, that. In my defense, I do what I want. :crossarms:
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/220.png
Oh, fantastic. I'm here to steal a letter or something from your boss.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/221.png
That is what I just said, yes.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/222.png
Your boss has it. I suggest you ask him. Now. :crossarms:
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/223.png
Good boy.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/224.png
Figured as much.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/225.png
Hopefully, I won't have to.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/226.png
Yes, I can see that, you useless fuck.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/227.png
Would I be standing here otherwise? Anyway, you apparently have some super secret letter. I'm here to take it.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/228.png
Fair enough. Tarantulas! Terrorize!
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/229.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/230.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/231.png
Fantastic. Thanks.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/232.png
Sure. But first, what in the seven levels of fucktardation is making that annoying beeping.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/233.png
I see. I'm taking this.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/234.png
Even better. If I destroy this one, I'll never have to hear that idiotic noise again. Otherwise, there's a chance you could mass produce these fuckers. I hate this region enough already, but if every mewdamn trainer I see has one of these, well, I'd just have to snap.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/235.png
Doo-doo-doo-yoink. So, does this do anything except beep?
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/236.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/237.pnghttp://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/238.png
So it's pretty much a Pocket Monster Gear? Heh. If it wasn't for the STUPID MOTHERFUCKING PHONE THAT NEEDS TO DIE, I'd have loved my Pocket Monster Gear.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/239.png
No... phone.
http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20004/240.png
I'm keeping this. :dance: